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This is not intended for those who comment without reading the entire blog or those lacking a sense of humor. And those with an inflated sense of patriotism better stop here as well.

To the government of the former Republic of South Africa from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II:

Due to your continued failure to financially support yourselves and your complete failure to elect competent Presidents, you are declared unfit to govern yourselves. We hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following will be implemented with immediate effect

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all provinces except for the district of Magersfontein, which still leaves a foul taste in her mouth. Those not willing to accept British rule will be banished to Magersfontein.

In future, the ‘Boer War’ will be referred to as the ‘Boer Rebellion’. All statues of the rebel leaders and generals will be incarcerated on Robben Island, which will henceforth be known as ‘Boerasic Park’. The space vacated by such statues will be filled with statues of Sir Redvers Buller, Lord Kitchener, Lord Roberts, and the likes of them.

Your national flag, which resembles a beach towel, will be replaced by the Union Jack. Your parliament is disbanded with immediate effect. Her Majesty has appointed Peter Hain as Governor for South Africa. He will arrive shortly and there will be no need for further elections. This should not change the schedules of most MPs because they never attend any parliament sessions in any way.

Using South African slang, like ‘ja’, ‘kak’, lekka’ and so forth, is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as South African English. Having a multitude of official languages (as you have) is confusing and English will be the only recognised language. All street and town names that were changed after 1910, will revert back to the original British names. Your public holidays will all be replaced with British public holidays.

You must tell us what happened to the Kruger millions. It is driving us crazy. An internal revenue agent (tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will join you shortly to ensure the gathering of all monies due to the Crown. This will be backdated to the formation of your, now defunct, republic.

The former RSA will adopt the British currency and the ZAR will be useless paper only fit to play monopoly (not that it is worth much more as it stands now). No compensation will be paid for losses incurred by the switch of currency. You will seize to import inferior products from the East. As of now, all imports will be only from the United Kingdom. UK prices on petrol will come into immediate effect.

Duels are forbidden. You will learn to resolve differences without using guns, spears, or any other traditional weapons. Your need for weapons to resolve issues shows that you're not ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for hunting. If you can't sort things out without shooting someone, then you're not ready to hunt. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a peashooter. You will require a license if you wish to carry a peashooter in public.

God Save the Queen!


A very happy St Valentine's day to all you sweet dolls out there.

A VERY ...........



Hope your day finds you with or hearing from your loved ones .... Near or far

Whether it be from family or friends or that special someone .... I hope you all hear the words ..........

........... "I LOVE YOU!!!!" Whilst feeling very loved

Whatever your doing..... Just have an AWESOME DAY!!!





Sending HEAPS of LOVING wishes to you all....

Oh..When we kids!..All the Games we used to Play!...We Boys would Play Baseball(And the kid who owned the Ball made up the Rules or he went home with his Ball) ...And while we Playing baseball(By the owner of the Balls Rules)..The girlys would draw lines on the Sidewalk and sing songs while they Played Hopscotch..............

For some reason being sold to Gypsies was a big childhood fear.
A babysitter may have threatened us with it.
I think her name was Rottenmeier.

Well, let’s get the record straight right from the start. It was not a case of cupcakes. It was a few boxes. 26 cardboard boxes, to be exact, each supposedly containing 144 cupcakes. 3 layers, 8 wide and 6 deep.

It is time we come clean on this. It all started when Mimi’s adopted cat offered the warehouse keys in return for a saucer of full cream dairy milk. She said Mimi only fed her on cupcakes and she was fed with it. So, being a cat lover, I gave her two saucers of milk but declined the keys. I’m not like that.

And then Jim, the gentle giant, came off his beanstalk and convinced me that it won’t be wrong to relieve Mimi from a few boxes because she had overproduced and she was flooding the market with cupcakes. I did not want to but ol’ Jimmy was so convincing that I forgot about all those nice things my mother taught me.

We stole into her warehouse one night with a train of 13 mules and we loaded 2 boxes on each mule. Jim headed the convoy and I took the back guard. As I left the warehouse following the last mule, I covertly took another box, which I carried. That box went missing along the way. I mean, what is the point in carrying an empty box? And what ol’ Jim did not know, could not hurt him.

We stashed the boxes in an old warehouse where Jim used to store the magic beans that he fed to that silly duck that he mistook for a goose. That was before he butchered the poor thing to get all the golden eggs at once. And what did he get? Zilch! Anyway, back to the topic, that was when the cheating started. When we wanted to divide the loot a few days later, I discovered that only two of the cartons contained 144 cupcakes. 20 cartons had 143 cupcakes and 4 cartons only had 142 cupcakes. Thus, 28 cupcakes went missing.

So, who was cheating who? Was Mimi cheating her customers, or was Jim cheating me? I know those cupcakes were so delicious. I secretly ate 24 when it was my turn to guard them - but somebody cheated me out of 4 and that pisses me off. Is there no honor amongst thieves?

Now I received a registered letter from a Ms Bollocks, claiming that she is representing the only heir to the now deceased Mimi, demanding payment for 27 and not 26 missing boxes. This sounds like a load of wallops to me and Jim will confirm that we only loaded 26 boxes. To date, neither Ms Bollocks nor her client could produce any proof that her dream-catching client is in fact Mimi’s heir. But I don’t know why they bother me with paying for the stuff. I pay like crime and we all know that crime does not pay.

Besides, the last time I spoke to Mimi, she said that I could have my share of the loot. Only Jim has to pay his share of it back. Unfortunately, the PM contained other intimate conversation that I cannot possibly share with anybody. It would be a gross break in confidence, even though she is no longer with us.

So, from the above you can clearly see that Jim was the wolf in the story and that I was very much the victim. I mean, who led the convoy?


Relax fellas, it is Friday!

PS
I still have a few dozen moldy stale fresh cupcakes for sale. At US$500 per dozen, it is a steal. I cannot be held responsible if the cupcakes go moldy while being shipped.

As one Calypso would say..."Time to shake up the blogs just a liitle bit"....Its been getting real boring....So I must ask..."Why is it that Liberals have this way of thinking that no matter if the other side is right...They are still wrong?...And why as for example If theres supposedly gang Rape(as there was a while back) and then its found out that it was all a Fabrication..that they will say..."Well if they couldve ..They wouldve"..This a sick way of thinking...You can throw the truth in their Faces and they will still argue you to death that 1 and 1 is 3...Im so Glad Im not a Liberal(Communist)..And the Liberals are bent on Destroying the USA....(Ive got myself braced for the "Liberal" on Slaught)....Im ready for my fair share of Abuse and to show you who dont believe that Liberals have a few screws loose..that they do......Come one come all...............

Some People are just Plainly full of (You know what)...Brian Williams of NBC Nightly News told some Whopper Stories about what happened to his Helicopter while he was in it in Iraq,,,Hillary Clinton said when she got off her Plane in Bosnia she had to lower her had to lower her head and run for cover(When in reality there is a video showing her getting off the Plane and hugging little children,,,And Ive known a lot of People who were full of(You know What....Ill bet you knew a few yourself..................

Someone Order Chinese

Im just here and I dont know why..But I keep thinking Bout Finland...Seems no matter when theres a comment ..Finland always seems to come up...I went to sleep last not with Finland on my Mind...And all I can think of is that country...Is this a Mind Gmae?....It certainly weighs heavy....That song by Ray Charles?"Georgia on my mind"...Now im singing..using that tune....."Finland..Finland".."The whole Day through".."Just an old sweet song"..."Keeps Finland on my Mind"........

I would like to extend and wish everyone
a special Happy Valentines Day on C/S.....

~JOHN~