I lost you/I lost me.

People often say that a person never changes, but I believe that's not 100% true. A person changes multiple times throughout their life (if they want to/if they have the necessary motivation). However, the problem arises when the "reason" for someone's change is another person. Let me explain why. There are three main reasons why if a person decides to make a change (hopefully for the better), they should do it for themselves and not for someone else.

The first reason is that no one knows you better than yourself. Only you truly know who you are on the inside, who you feel you should truly be. Therefore, you should give freedom to your true self to emerge. For inner peace, spiritual and mental tranquility, you should be free and allow yourself to be who you truly want to be, not who someone else wants you to be.

Now let's talk about the second reason. If you change for the sake of someone else, first and foremost, you won't feel comfortable in your own soul and mind being someone you feel you are not. Even if the "new person" you become is liked by that person, which might bring some satisfaction knowing that you're making someone dear to you happy with who you are or who you have become, deep down in your soul, you will never truly be happy or free. And if that person loves you or at least cares about you and your well-being, they will understand that they need to let you be yourself and won't ask you to be someone else, nor even hint that it would be nice if you were (if they do, then they don't deserve your effort, feelings, or admiration).

And the third reason (which somehow relates to reason 2) is that if the reason for your change is a loved one, when you lose that person (which is very likely and possible to happen sooner or later), you will also lose your "new self" because with the disappearance of that person from your life, the reason for your change/the motivation for your "new self" will also disappear. However, if the change you choose to make is for yourself, to become a better version of yourself, then that change will be permanent. Because you will always be in your own life, you cannot abandon or lose yourself. Therefore, the motivation or reason for your change will always be there.

And to give you an example, I can say that I speak from experience, not just things I've heard from someone. Many years ago, when I was still young, I decided to make a major and very important change in my life, but for the wrong reason. I decided because I loved someone deeply and wanted to be the best version of myself for that person. I decided to analyze everything that was wrong with me, everything I did wrong, and everything that made me somewhat of a bad person or a person with bad habits. I decided to analyze them all and eliminate them one by one until there was nothing wrong left in me. The plan was set, I had done the analysis, and I started to eliminate each negative or bad habit until only one thing remained to be changed for the better. As they say, I had reached the goal of self-improvement. However, just before I could take that step to eliminate the last negative thing from my life... I lost the person I loved, which hurt me deeply but also took away my motivation or reason to continue the change and remain the new "me." Sometimes I wonder if it was the devil's intervention, seeing that I wanted to become a better person, or if life simply wanted to teach me a lesson. Who knows, maybe it was a bit of both, as they say, 50/50. Anyway, I probably will never know, but that remains to be seen. What matters now is that I learned my lesson and decided to share it with all of you today. I hope this life lesson will be helpful to you, and before I conclude, if you decide to change (for the better, I hope), do it for yourself, not for someone else. Thank you for your attention.