Too Darn Talented

Lmao So I decide to not write any more songs for a while and sure enough, my muse inspires me once again. Not sure who it is, but in any case I`m starting another song, called Blood Painted World. It`s more controversial then the rest of my songs and has a worldly look instead of personal. It`s about how screwed up our world is. How tainted the people can be. I have verse 1 done, and the chorus started.

Anywho, as far as life goes...my ex had enough balls in him to send me my ID and SS card, but told me he`d send my CD`s like 2 weeks ago and nothing arrived yet.

Love...well...none. I`m not the average woman that men my age want, so I`ve pretty much gotten the idea that the only male I could ever have a positive relationship with has fur. And I`m not talking about Robin Williams either

As far as education, I`m working with Vocational Rehab which is for folks with disabilities which I`m sure I can qualify for, as far as my thyroid goes. They help with getting jobs, paying for education, and starting businesses. I`m still tossing up ideas on school but I`m pretty sure I don`t wanna deal with a 4 yr college in the state of WI, because by then I`d be 31 just out of school. I care more about having a relationship and kids, then a degree in a state I don`t intend to live in while there`s a school in Missouri that`s perfect for me, where I can get a BS in Equine Science and a minor in Web Graphics. Tuition is up there, so I figured I`d start with an online degree in either dog training/behavior or music management since after all, I am a song writer and hopefully a singer soon.

My singing voice sounds exactly like Carol King and or Jewel. I can mix the two as well. Those are the two I grew up on basically, so that`s how I incorporated that into my singing. I also grew up on pretty much the entire 70`s which is odd from someone who grew up in the 90`s but it`s what my dad listened to. And I learned that my mom was a huge Pink Floyd fan and especially Dark Side of the Moon.

Also had another portion of my book edited, and should have 27 pages shortly. I`m basically doing the 2nd and 3rd edits before I move onto the legal stuff.

I am so not looking forward to tomorrow. Dr`s apt. to check my thyroid and a much *cough* loved pap smear. And a new dr. too.

I miss being a kid, not having to worry about relationships or wondering what`s so wrong with me that a man can`t fathom loving me at all. Maybe it`s the fact that I`ve stopped biking because I have a missing part and not sure how to fix what`s left while not having any money. Maybe a wrench will do. I`ll give it a shot. Biking kept me thinking positive. Now I just take long walks which helps in feeling depressed.

Reading some good books lately. I`ll recommend them.
Faces of Fear by John Saul
All Things Bright and Beautiful by James Herriot
Vampire Lestat by Ann Rice
and next:
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy (this`ll be the 2nd time reading it, I wanna view it from another angle since I`ve matured since the 1st read)
and Pride & Prejudice by Charles Dickens.

Music...well...I have a playlist at which I`m always adding to .

Hope you all are enjoying the changing of the seasons.

Much love

-Leila-