Personal Quality
If you're already perfect, your work is done.
If perfection is still at least a day away, are you taking steps in that direction?
Quality - How would you rate yourself on this as a person? What improves your score and what doesn't?
When people look at you... Do you think they give you a high score? Do you want them to? Are you looking for someone who appears to be of high quality? Do you wonder if this is real?
Do you think about your own quality and look for someone you feel is higher, lower, or about the same?
The way we rate ourselves is different for each of us. The way we rate others is also different. Is this what we're trying to line up when we're considering a romantic relationship?
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Comments (99)
Red - I'm not recommending a tally board ... but I do think we look at ourselves and others in this way. Basically, it's our ego... and our inner voices... Do we feel good about ourselves? If two guys were interested in you, would you feel more attracted to the one who is nicer or taller or younger or more educated?
Would you like to find someone to admire? Perhaps someone who will admire you?
It's just another way to think about what "attractive" is and how our personal outlook affects this.
Good topic but a bit difficult to answer,coz there is not list to answer with Yes and No .I can say i am 10 years behind to become perfect even i reach that after 10 years,i am sure at that time i need other 10 years to reach perfections.
Did you got what i mean ?
I think you're saying that the finish line is always moving so we can never really get there. Very true.
So I wonder if some just don't want to try... they just live day after day and don't worry about personal improvement or lofty goals like self-actualization.
What traits do you value in people?
Do you value hard work?
Do you value pride and self-confidence?
Do you value kindness and caring for others?
What else?
Way from perfect here need lots of work....
B
Yes and that was about perfection and we will never reach that,but its god to work for it.
*Do you value hard work? -----Yes,by doing that you can improve the Quality of your product.
*Do you value pride and self-confidence?-----Yes,it can improve you life and this can reflect to the society.
*Do you value kindness and caring for others?-----Yes and this can make others happy and we will get it back to our selves.(Just try to help someone,watch your feeling after that)?
What else?
It can be long list here but i want to say we all want to be nice and to hear positive words,specially in front of our wifes,girlfriends,relatives.
p.s: It's just my amateur opinions
In your search for a romantic partner, do you see this 'value' as being part of the search?
Some seem to feel it and some don't... some feel capable of improving and some just think about reasons not to improve.
Also - some feel they must become a new person or 'why bother?' ... I think more success happens when you make smaller changes and think of improvement as a journey to be taken one step at a time.
High Quality or Low u kiding right?..after all im not a cam to have hight Quality or low.
I take small steps to improve but sometimes i fall and it does get frustrating always have to improve on ones self...shouldn't we be okay with who we are are we so imperfect we have to improve its kind of depressing.....
This is fine... instinct is our friend... but it can mislead us at times (just as too much thinking can leave us confused)...
So friendship can grow... as you get to know someone... as you learn more about them... you might like them more or perhaps less... while the same thing is happening in their minds as they get to know you... a sort of natural flow to this, right?
And the quest is for the ideal 'you' (if I'm understanding this right).
Do you feel a little inner drive to improve yourself? Do you respond constructively?
(My questions are someone rhetorical... your blogs and comments on CS show the answers I think... that you're moving in a positive direction...
been trying to come up with a witty answer but your questions are indeed overwhelming and rather hard to answer
i do at times consider that i know more than some people especially when it comes to the things i know i'm more experienced and have more knowledge.
but also learned overtime that i've to be humble, respect others' opinion and be a better listener.
i admire people who are smarter and more experienced than i am.
does this something i consider when choosing a partner, yes definitely.
could never settle with somebody who's not up to par, both intellectually and spiritually.
I think of this as attractiveness and how much we each might value different characteristics.
- Intelligent/Wise - I value this highly.
- Patient/Understanding - also highly valued.
- Formal education - nice to have but I don't value this as much as many others do.
- Energetic - again, nice to have but as long as someone has their laziness under control, being highly energetic isn't something I value.
We don't have formal lists (well, I don't anyways
Now - "Product XY" - Where should we place your barcode?
Are you serious? I thought you are testing his kindness
Hi Marsh
"Up to par" ... Are you thinking of someone who is about as intelligent and wise as yourself or perhaps someone who is even a bit smarter?
Marsh - Nice picture, btw.
yeah, at least having the same level of thinking as mine or slightly better
btw, i believe people can change, only if they're willing to coz it takes a lot of efforts and leaving our comfort zone, takes a lot of courage too
having fun with emoticons!
anyways, thanks for the compliment
trust me, a lot of insecurities and too much thinking behind what you've seen
I am sure that some people would rate me in the negative and others would at least give me an average score.
Another interesting topic coming from you
If the work is done, what's next then?
Not sure if I am walking my steps in that direction, but what I have been trying to do is to make few changes some of my bad habits or negative traits to be a better person. Still far far away from perfection.
Yes, I have been thinking about my own quality so it would be safer for me to look for someone whose similar to mine...actually I really want to say I want to look for someone who could be comfortable with me to see me being me and to keep being himself when he's with me.
I had twice unpleasant experiences regarding this perfection thing in a relationship so I could only hope I'd be luckier next time
When we say that we aren't perfect as a person to our (future) partner, we better understand also that he/she whom we talk to isn't perfect either as a person
Leaving our comfort zone... That's a big deal for some of us, isn't it? !!
Personally, I like to always be comfortable and confident (I don't like stress) ... but some stress is good for us ... I think of this like exercise ... it's good for our muscles to feel tired from work and I think it's good for our brains as well!
As a child... the first time riding a bicycle... the wobbly sense of balance... definitely outside our comfort zone! But over time, we might become very confident on a bike.
This is also true with running a meeting or learning any new skill. It's going to be wobbly at first, but eventually we may discover talent we didn't know we had! (though I still don't enjoy running meetings
I think it's good to stretch our comfort zone... at least occasionally.
I am sorry to bother you,i checked it out and i found only one comment in all of your topics,and he called you "smart lady". Anyway i am just telling you how serious i am.
inthemind sorry for making this super serious .
Your own quality ... some are consciously aware of the characteristics they value and try to develop these traits in themselves. In this way, they try to become the sort of person they would like to attract.
On the other hand... I think some are attracted by differences... the traits they value and hope to find in others are the ones they have had a difficult time developing in themselves.
Can I divide people this way?
- Attracted to (and highly value) those like themselves
-or-
- Attracted mostly to those who are different... and perhaps have strengths in areas where they feel weak.
(and perhaps it's always a mixture... the same in some areas while opposite in others
(that sounds ominous, doesn't it?
Here's a question... Your good days and your bad days... when you're having one type, do you think about the other? Maintaining perspective can be tough... when it feels like the world is against us... to know that it probably feels worse than it is...
Balance. Perspective.
Perfection, well I am too far from that. Perfectly imperfect. Yeah, that's it. I have got flaws, a lot of them but I am in a way proud of them as I know what I am capable and some not.
I have my own capabilities, 'though others may who have more than I possess. But I always remember others may not have the abilities that I do have too. I do not worry about others may be doing better than me. They have their own way, and I have mine.
Its kinda sad to be rated as satisfactory or whatever rating that could be. Why can't we be loved because of what we have than what we don't have.
Me personally did not and will never have ratings to whoever I like. Because when I like somebody, I like him all the way, may he imperfect. He will be the best quality for me.
Sorry (not really
So, Miss La Chica, if the work is done... and we've achieved personal perfection... well, perhaps we deserve to take the day off... relax, read a book... and if we're still perfect tomorrow... perhaps see if someone else could use a hand... share the wealth, in a manner of speaking.
(I've been using many more cliches lately... slang too... please let me know if I sound more confusing than usual
Wow ... You hit a key point. It is true that no one is perfect... it's also true that perfect doesn't have a single definition (it's a little different for each of us).
We're all flawed... we're all broken in some way. I think a relationship really gains strength when we have shared our flaws and accepted each other's imperfections. Until that has happened, I don't think we can be confident about a relationship.
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Marsh - I don't know where the reference is either but I'm sure I've done this with many people (and you remembered