Life is complicated

I dated a guy for about two years. We had good times and bad times. He is OCD, has a lot of anxiety issues, and cannot handle change in any form. He always appreciated that I was "the bendy one" meaning I was flexible and he was not. I broke up with him a year ago because I realized the idea of moving in together was stressing him out. He was really trying but he was so unhappy. I couldn't stand to see him looking so stressed and anxious, and knowing I was the cause.

After a year we are still friends. And this has been the hardest year for me in a very long time. Sometimes I get so mad at him because we aren't together. And after we go out "as friends" then I am so sad and hurt because we have such a great time. I just know that we could be together and be happy. But I also know he can't get past that anxious stage to just moving in together to see it isn't the end of the world.

I think it is time to break everything. Cold turkey. I need to move on...Even if I never find someone else, I could at least try. Right now I think I am in some kind of limbo. And it is painful. And I know he is gonna go all "Gotye" on me, but I don't think I can just be friends anymore.

I am not usually on such a downer. After all, fat women are supposed to be cheerful...and I usually am. Dang.