Some jokes
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."A dyslexic man walks into a bra...
James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, and then casually looks at his watch. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replies, "Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "State-of-the-art watch? What is so special about it?" "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically," Bond explains. "So what's it telling you now?" says the woman. "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties," Bond replies. The woman giggles and says, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!" Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's an hour fast."
Comments (10)
He use to lay awake all night wondering if there really was a dog
Answer: Yes, over time, it will destroy their tiny livers.
But it's the disruption to home life that really takes its toll...