god's lunch time..

Like always to day i am having lunch in the canteen, i was having indonesian fruit salad, slices of fruits with sweet brown sugar sauce .
I always took the late lunch, sometimes to finish work, sometimes just to avoid people , co workers and gossiping with one another. So there is no one here beside me
There are two white long tables on the canteen area. One is still dirty , the house keeping have not clean the left overs yet, but the one on the inner side was clean.
So i sat there, chewing on those slices of fruits dipped in the sweet sauce, all alone.

All the sudden i saw one small black ant circling around my table.He was all alone too.
He was just on his routine shift i guess, trying to find some food to bring home to his people.
The little fellow was circling near me so i decided to give him one drop of the sweet sauce ,he was busy eating the sweet sauce then he rest for some time and then he eat again until i think he was full.
Then he leave the spot and vanish in the other end of the table for some time.
I watch him go and i think i wont be seeing him anymore

Then he came back, or i think it was him. Its kindda hard to tell since they are all so small and they all look pretty much the same, so i am guessing that it was him.
He must not have a GPS installed in his head but i am sure he have some kind of animal instinct to help him find his way back. He was going in a pattern, straight then circle then straight then circle all over again
I knew he would finally find the spot but since there is no one there i decided to help the little guy.

So I stand up and go to the other side of the table, put my hands on the table and create some kind of walls with my palms around him,then when he go to the wrong direction i put my hands again and surround him with my hands. He was making some wrong turns which is many actually, even climbed it, and i have to keep standing up and guide him until he reach the spot.
Yeyy,he made it ! We did it little guy.
Now eat and get your self fat we might not see each other again tomorrow.

I get to watch how the ant ate, how he move his fore legs while eating and how he makes a pattern while trying to reach his way back there, assuming that he is the same ant. And honestly, i found this really interesting rather than my daily task at work.
But lunch time is almost over,I have to head back to my desk and get back to work as a slave who cannot afford my own freedom.

But there is one thing I cant stop thinking about, that time I was making that wall around the little guy, maybe God has been doing the same thing to me.
You know, many things in my life just don't work out well without me knowing why. And God knows i've tried.
Maybe, i was even more lost than that ant, which is funny, to think that i am actually the one who are the civilized man.

But I'm sure God pitied me, and that He shows it by building His brick walls around me which i can't possibly go through or round or even above it.
I'm sure He was just trying to lead me to a better place, just like what i did to the little guy.
I mean I am not sure that God have a lunch time, but even if He did , I am sure that He would do the same thing, and not just in His lunch time, but all of the time, because I am sure God have plenty of time, so much that it is countless for us.
But most of all, I am sure that God have even more abundant compassion and love than just this weird woman who tried to feed some ants during her lunch time. He is my faithful friend, the One who sticks to me like glue.

You know, sometimes it feels good to let it all out even though i know I am making no sense. Because even if it feels good to be weird,some of us don't get the luxury to do it too often
And I also hope one day i'll get to find my " mutual weirdness "