Still Single

NMT, clearly if you are blogging about it, they upset you. It should, they are trespassing into areas where your goals and theirs conflict.

I am thinking, possibly, part of the problem is living in a place where women aren't traditionally allowed freedoms, such as choosing if one wishes to get married. Very sadly, much of humanity is still of a mindset that a woman's purpose is limited to being a wife and bearing children, with cooking for and entertaining the spouse being part of the package, and anything else is evil or very troubling. I am hoping eventually humanity will reach a state of free will and education where such treatment fades into history, but until then you and countless others must cope with the well meaning, friendly, crazies.

Me, long ago (I mean decades ago) I drew very clear lines in the sand about what topics involving my life were not smart topics for friends and relatives to cross into. True friends respected them. Those that thought they knew better, well I wonder (not) what ever became of them? At some point sometimes it even becomes necessary to delete the phone numbers of certain relatives and throw away their address. Been there, done that. I once went ten years without uttering a single word to my parents or telling them any way to contact me until they finally caved on a similar issue.

I get a certain sense from various writings that at your core you are a very nice person. Sometimes nice people are too nice. They grow the same claws as everyone else, but somehow became pre-conditioned to never reveal them to anyone else. This can be a mistake that allows friends and relatives to assume all topics and positions taken by you can be challenged and changed as the whim strikes them.

My suggestion is you make it clear some topics are not good ones to discuss if they wish to continue communication, and then if still needed, perhaps a light slash of those hidden verbal claws we all possess just to sprinkle a little blood on the line to make it stand out more clearly. You may find out one or two of the friends are actually more full of themselves than of interest in respecting you and or maintaining the friendship. That is fine. Drop them and move on. True friends will respect your decision to draw lines in the sand.

I totally agree with you single...I think that someone´s happiness doesn´t depend on being in a relationship or not, it depends on how you feel with your life and yourself. Then, it's a personal decision to have an amazing life regardless you are single, in a relationship or married.

I think, cause we are not in our home lands its really difficult to date! But your turn will come doll face! I know this is the last thing you wanna hear, your still young!

Happy,u r confusing me.where is ur homeland?not Indonesia?

Rummy, I'm in Cambodia now, on assignment

U shud have tell me that earlier.now i ll need to change my ticket to cambodia r u going to stay there long?

Well Stefff, maybe I just haven't met the one I'd fall madly inlove with as you've said. I'd be thrilled to know how that feels.

I agree! I don't answer most of the time especially when they aren't close to me.. Not even then sometimes. I don't like explaining myself to anyone. Especially when I know they won't understand my thoughts..

@sourlife Well my friends deserve answers.. But when I answer, they'd just have follow up questions.. I don't like explaining so I just say "don't worry about it, I got it" But of course it annoys me..

Hi Lachi!
Thanks Lachi.. I always appreciate my friends. Since I was not very easy to befriend when they met me.. I became a better person (I think) with their help. They taken me for my imperfections and I'm happy with theirs. And enjoy life all the time is what I try to do.. Thank you!

Ken, I was not very nice before. I was different than I am now. One of them friends noticed that I shut up about it so she'd tell everyone to leave it.. But some just don't. Some kind of teasing I guess. I have never set any lines for topics to them because I always felt that it was ok to discuss anything with them. I just shut up whenever I don't feel like sharing.. But yes, drawing the line would be a good start, for now I've become more different..

Good thing about them though, they've always been so accepting and supportive that I couldn't alienate them even for a week. Thanks!

Hi Linilla!
I'm glad I'm not alone in this! Thanks!

Oh dear Ed! Our friends always know that one subject to annoy us. Yes, as you've said, "I think I will leave it to my heart to let me know when I see the right guy!" I'm still to meet that person who would make breathing seem like the most difficult task. I just hope that when that time comes, I'd be ready. Thank you!

Happy, actually, that's what I always tell them. "I'm still young, I have other things I want more." But they'd tell me "say that when you've forgotten to take care bout that and you're 40." It also made me think. What if I enjoy too much and forget about this certain department of my life? I said, so what I know a lot of women in their 40s and single.. But they'd always come up with something to tell me that'd make me think.. Friends...

@Happy and Leo
I didnt know the flood was in Cambodia. Leo, get the first flight and look for her there.. Only to end up sleeping in the haystack alone.

From what I can see, you are eager to be in love and afraid of its power at the same time. The time will come when your guard will crumble and you will fall head over heels for him

I remember one particular guy told me "why are you so afraid of love?" I didn't get him. I told him, "just because I don't see you romantically, doesn't mean I'm scared." But maybe he was right. I just didn't give it a real thought before. Maybe I'm scared. But I think, most fear come from the thought of losing freedom and control.

I think so too

I hope I overcome this when "that" finally presents itself.
Thaks Stefff!

He will be non controlling...maybe he will value his freedom as much as you do... That's how he will win you over.

Non-controlling... Win me over...
You sound so sure.

Well I would respect a guy who values his freedom. Because I have no intentions in controlling his life for him. Men who know what they want to do is always desirable than pleasers..

i thought we had great chemistry doll ,turns ot you want to be alone

It is always a good idea to give a woman some alone time. Also good in reverse, men need that alone time too.

Don't know you country of origin, but though in Saudi Arabia the family arranged the match, a couple of cows and she's your's

Oh Daniel, I'm like titanium, and you're like water. Won't blend.

I couldn't agree more Ken..





I have never changed for anybody and never will. I only make changes when I recognize the need, and if it makes me a better person. Thank you!

Fun, I don't think my parents would be so happy with cows to replace me.. Add some more ducks and sheep, they might consider giving the guy my hand.. without the body of course..

It's so nice of you to finally join us Angel!

gee's bit expensive, and a horse thats it deal or no deal

I think its rather healthy to be right up youself. Im complety suprized that anybody even takes the time to even inquire. What you need is a new circle of friends, ones that couldnt care less about you.

They sure pressure me with their inquisitions and comments Jason, but they could never make me desperate. I sound desperate, but I don't feel desperate. Thanks you!

Wow with a bonus! Now they'll let you have my hand along with the arm up to the shoulder.

Now ya sounding like a proctologist, either that or ya left ya gold Rolex somewhere ya shouldnt have. Up to the shoulder. Mardi gras perhaps. But really, you are so sweet when you spit venom,Cleopatra,s viper, charming sweet heart, charming.
Facinating. A complete enigma, tooled up with angst and an overload of verbosity. Brilliant.
Gloria Arryoyo eat ya heart out.