My First Blog
Top five regrets of the dyingBronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."
Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."
What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?
Comments (46)
but wish you the best with all ur regrets, when it rains, the sun will eventually come out when u least expect it
good blog. interest and challenging questions. I have no regrets, only mistakes to learn from. all the mistakes i made helped me to become who i am, and i hope … I won't make them again... fear, nope. i like living.
I do not think we can live our whole lives as if we were going to die tomorrow.
Life is about mistakes but to live with regrets for a whole life is kinda sad to me.
I hope my smile would be not of regrets, but of having done my best with info at hand.
No regrets, as I view all life actions as life lessons to learn & grow from...
I did have one bad habit though, in the past, now under control, when I lost my temper very easily....got me in a lot of hot water!
I was surprised to look here and see responses.
Thank you for responding and your warm welcomes.
First floor eh Mr. Bogart?
Welcome to the blogs! Great first blog! I enjoyed it! My biggest regret maybe working too hard but this year I made a decision to stop working most weekends and spend more time on me. I also decided to let love guide me and be more honest with myself!
Hope you have a great weekend!
Thank you for the welcome and it takes a self-aware person to see our own flaws, acknowledg them, and work on correcting them.
I have had the same epiphany as you about 5 years ago. My life was only work for so many years, 7 days a week, almost 24 hours a day. It took a few years to turn that around, but I did it and no regrets.
a lot of fun here...
Thank you for the warm welcome.
No reason to shy. Let us see your big apey grin.
Enjoy your weekend KB.
For me, twice having been told to live only 90 days utmost after diagnosis of the most malignant cancer, one in 1998 and then two years ago, I can't remember any regrets, other than the first one, I prayed hard and the whole community of my church with 6,000 parishioners, prayed, too, that I just wanted to live longer as my children were still young.
The second one, I welcomed with a great smile having believed to have done most of what I planned to do after that, albeit limited in some ways..but have done my best.,.again, I asked God, to give me more time as I was so in love with someone who found me here at the Poetry Corner, who prayed for me, so much also. Miraculously, here I am still kicking and healthy..(according to three specialist). And yes, I do believe in miracles and a very good God..who does not create havoc and negative decrees..
One thing, I have found out though, is that we become, very inclined to do all the positive things in life including our perspectives in life..We tend to be more understanding and smile even as there are some who are so caught up in the rigors of life and beset with misfortunes and they become negative because of those..I smile at them, too.
But regrets...No..that I can think of, even today.
Hope you are enjoying your weekend as well.
When other members gave you a warm welcome, I am gladly to give a COLD one!!
Thaaat's for posting your great first blog! Welcome to the blogging world, Judge KB!