When/How Do You Introduce Your BF/GF To Your Kids?
Here's a very sensitive issue for me. I've been hiding my relationship from my ex-husband and my almost 11 years old son for a long time now. Few months ago, my son picked up my phone and read some messages exchanged between me and my BF. He took the whole thing really well and started teasing me about it, few days later, he grabbed my phone and started chatting to my BF. From that day on, they started talking , exchanged messages and photos. He likes to tease and joke with my BF and would often tell me to marry the guy.
Well, things are more complicated than it appears.
They have met already and often talked on the phone when my BF and I started dating years ago but for some reason, we had to keep the relationship secret after that. My son wants to see my BF, he likes him and that somehow makes me feel positive. Every few months my BF comes here but I never let them meet. My BF plans to spend a very nice Christmas with us, this time he is staying at my place...no more hotels. It would be a wonderful Christmas but I'm having second thoughts...I don't think it's a good idea for them to get too close.
it does give me a strange feeling that the relationship is getting serious...it scares the heck out of me
How did you introduce you BF/GF to your children ?
Was it a happy event ?
Comments (138)
moreover, i think a person must be absolutely sure that that man/ woman is there for the long haul and not until he gets bored, before introducing him/ her to the kids because if he/she should leave after the kids get attached and love him/her that can be bad for them too , we cant only think about our needs and wants in this
But that if it does, you and he will chat again.
As for the sleeping arrangements, again why don't you ask your son what he thinks would be the best thing to do.
If he makes the decision (and I doubt he will either choose to share with your B/F or or hand over his room to him
Yes, fun and relaxed environment mostly works. Yes, I will have to straighten Yazan out about that name calling...I'm waiting for the right time to tell him that he's coming to spend Christmas with us. Yazan will be with his dad on 24th so that would give me my BF some time to ourselves. Yazan will be with us on 25th till the whole weekend. I'm thinking of having a Christmas party on 25th, invite few freinds to neutralize their first night together...my BF is ok with the idea but I'm not comfortable parading my BF to my friends who don't know about him too
I'm trying to stay awake
Besides, that 4 times a year visit is about to change
But, I think it shows something about your man....willing to spend an important holiday with you. That is a good sign in my book.
I never felt secure with the relationship because of the problems with my ex-husband...we have to keep everything secret and I'm wary of it to be honest. Now, I feel things have changed and getting better...and I'm worried because I'm not ready for it, I guess.
worst case...my ex-husband won't allow my son to stay with me if he finds out I'm still seeing my BF...that's why I prefer LDR and just see him 4 long weekend a year
please show some mercy on Johnny...he deserves someone a lot better!
My son does call him by his first name...only calls him "punk" when he's kidding around.
That's a nice way to deal with your children. I do talk to my son too and teach him how to behave
Yes, one shouldn't bring home a bf/gf unless it's pretty serious
I told him, I haven't shared a bed with my BF yet
and that's a great idea...I will ask him and let him decide
how did you introduce your GF to your family? Was it over a dinner party?
yes, him wanting to spend a long Christmas weekend with us says a lot....and I have mixed emotions over it
This is your boyfriend's first time staying in the house, so for your son it IS the first time.
As I said, allow your son make the decisions, and he will be more comfortable then.
And, don't forget, no soppy -stuff when your son is around.
Adults doing soppy-stuff and touching etc., makes kids want to
I'm trying to think positive but can't help feeling anxious from the time he told me he booked his flight here and started planning what we'll do on Christmas...and when I should buy the Turkey
Yazan usually receives a lot of presents on Christmas...the number one reason why Christmas is also special to him
No man in that situation can be trusted.....a Man will always be a Man.....
I really hope it works out into something much more real.....because reality is everyday.....
OK, I will impose a "no touching, no kissing " rule when my son is around
yes, it is what it is...we were together here for 2 years and became 4 long weekends a year when he moved back to UK....and there were times that I can't be with him when he comes here. I go to see him in the hotel for one night and just briefly see him on day time because my ex was checking on me. Now, things are better...I'm not that worried anymore, I mean not having to be scared being seen with him, that's the main problem why we can't be together when we wanted to.
I can lose my son if my ex- found out about my BF...now, things are a little different, I'm not that worried anymore and my ex- have stopped chasing me
If Your son and you want to spend Christmas, with your boyfriend. In my opinion! I would say; Enjoy Spending Christmas together! I will rather be hearing about. How you enjoyed your Christmas, then to hear you say that! You didn't enjoy your Christmas. In fact! I wouldn't want to here that! No one didn't enjoy there Christmas/ Holidays!
And as far as the sleeping arrangements! That is up to you all to decide. Not me! Because for 1. I'm not living in your house. And 2. It is not for me to say! Because I'm not walking in your shoes. So! I can't say that your relationship with your boyfriend, is going to last or not! I don't know him. So I can't say! Only you two can decide that. Let Alone! That can mean for anybody. Not just you!
PS. No matter what you 3 decide to do. Just enjoy your Christmas day and the Holidays! ___
I have a say...we plan together but of course I want to follow his lead sometimes
Go to England.....have fun....you will be freer....you will be on his turf..so he will have to spoil you....
yeah...feels good reading that
But you haven't answered my question...have you ever brought a BF home and introduce him to your kids ? How ?
If I can take Yazan with me...I would go with him
Even when we go shopping, I stay away from him, didn't want to be seen with him...now that improved a little, we did go out in public and managed to hold hands with him...was very cautious though
Yes! I Have.
I told my child: This is my boyfriend!
He didn't live with us. But! He was my boyfriend. " It was the truth"
Sooner or later! Our child is going to have a boyfriend/ girlfriend. And I will like to know too!___
if I say UK..my ex- will know with whom right away
Yes, it's good to be open and honest with our kids, better to know what their thoughts and feelings so we can know and prepare to deal with it
Yes!__
I'm sure he won't ask to check the ticket.....so LIE....
__________
I hide things, I keep secret but I can't lie
the last time I lied to ex- about my BF, I got caught right away and it went bad...very bad
parent can easily understand than kids
the only one who will loose is Yazan and I will do my best not to let that happen. My ex- is happy with his wife and new daughter now, I'm kinda hoping thst time have healed the wounds and he won't be cruel to take me away from Yazan if he finds out.
We made a pact that we won't take each other away from Yazan because we both belong to him. When we were having hellish times, he could never make me look bad in front of Yazan...he wanted to but couldn't. We both did our best to protect Yazan from our bad situation. I so hope that all the jealousy and obsession over me are all gone. Maybe I would need a little more time...my BF and I want to have normal relationship...Yazan will be a part of that. I'm taking it slow, very slow...and hoping for the best.
I'm already very worried without a third party Mr Perfect
not read enough posts here to see how the overall verdict is going.. but i have read your son already knows and seems to like him.. our children worry about our happiness as much as we do theirs and to see you his mother happy this christmas might just about make his.. throw the ribbon of over worrying away,let the hair down and enjoy what could be an unforgettable christmas.
when we over think, over worry we over look the more important things