Who is this comedian?

He is one of my favorite comedians. He has something to say, he says it. Can you tell me who this is? Do you have a quote of his that you favor? If so, would love to hear it, could really use some laughter right now. If there are other comedians you would like to quote that would help me find my laughter, then do share




I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.

You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.