Define normal

I was divorced and back in the dating pool before I met my first nutter. They're not all on the dating websites, you know, they move among us in real life too.

This was a blind date, set up as a double date, and he would rather have been with the other lass. Fair to say we didn’t hit it off. When he found out I had a young daughter he said he bet I didn’t allow my ex to see her. He was so effing sick of meeting women who screwed their husbands for alimony AND made it impossible for them to see their kids.

Actually my daughter spends every weekend with her dad.

So he’s stuck at home looking after your kid while you’re out partying every weekend? That’s so effing typical . . .

Oh aye, he was a prince. He then started to complain about his last girlfriend. Women were insane. They say they want flowers and cards, and then when you give them everything they want, they go to the police about you. Effing insane.

Ummmmm - what happened?

He left a flower and a card every day under her windscreen wiper, the way she reacted you’d think he was an axe murderer. Effing b*tch. Just trying to show he was caring, and interested, seriously interested, isn’t that something women were supposed to want?

I’d have moved my car elsewhere, I said with perfect honesty and he glared at me with mingled triumph and hatred.

Like that made a difference! She never left it anywhere I couldn’t find it. Next thing I know I’m being told I’m a stalker! Effing mental.


****

I left, and he spent the rest of the evening telling my friend that I would never get a boyfriend, I was too effing uptight.

When she passed that on, I said he was a lunatic and should be locked up. She was quite taken aback. Yes he was a bit intense but compared to some of the blokes she’d dated, he was pretty normal.


*****

Define normal.