Please help guys, not sure what to think... Story involved here... ( Locked) (174)

ok last night, i went out for st pat's with my very close friends. a lovely night, until i received a phone call from an ex. he's 35, and i'd lived with him for around a year before we split, known him around 3 years altogether. we'd had our problems while we were living together which caused us to break up. i tried to the best of my ability to be a good cook and clean and wash / iron for him. but i was never very good and this annoyed him. another one of these was the fact i had miscarried at 15 weeks. the morning i realised i was losing the baby, i begged him to come to the hospital with me, and he said work was more important. and he left me to go alone. Anyway, last night he called me, and asked if i would be in a certain pub that he goes to. now my friends had already told me that they wanted to go to this particular bar, so i said yes, we'd be there. he caused a bit of a fuss, said he didnt want me "ruining" his night with my presence. so i tried to convince them not to go. but they had their hearts set as its one of the best pubs around. when we arrived i just waited around outside, i didnt want to see this man. since we split he'd been trying to be in my life, contacting me now and again, using me and being very physically rough in the process. but i still felt an obligation to him, as he had moved here from northern ireland to be with me, so when he asked for something, no matter how i felt i'd try and please him. cooking, cleaning, washing, fetching his dry cleaning. little errands too. Anyway, after a while he came out, and started giving out about me. about who i am, that im a terrible person, i can never do anything he asks properly etc. and i explained that my animosity towards him stemmed from the time he refused to be with me when i was at hospital miscarrying. And that after all this time he still wont really let me move on, and that he's never grateful when i try to do things he asks.

this was his reaction:

"abi, you cant do anything right, your useless. people have made messy situations for me, and i have to deal with them alone... you were the pregnant one, not me, you sure as hell should have dealt alone, it wasnt my problem"

Now, my reaction: i slapped him.

And i feel dreadful. i mean, lower than low. ive never even dreamed of a physical reaction to words, but at the time i was shocked and very upset. it felt like i had tried my best and i was still a useless person in his eyes.

im not looking for anyone to condone what i did, but i wandered if anyone else has ever felt so emotionally screwed over by someone that it comes out in a way you never expected??

help please!

abi

x

stabbing kinda outdoes my slap! but i can see how when emotions run high anything possible. i shant be losing sleep. i dont know whether he's a bad person, or whether we just clash terribly. but its way time i devoted my time to someone who deserves it i think.

Please go and speak to someone hun...he has been a controller and abuser....

I know you should not have slapped him but he pushed you to the edge...

You need to speak to someone about the loss of your baby..

Yes he should have gone to the hospital with you...it takes two to make a child and if he cared he would have been worried about you mentally and physically... He slept with you and got you pregnant so yes it was his duty....

Please hun he has played with your head and screwed you up as all control freaks do...go and speak to a group that deal with abused women...

Remember love can be wonderful but get involved with the wrong man it can also be dangerous...

Seek emotional help and support, learn to love yourself again, accept it as a past experience you have learnt from and then I hope one day when you are ready to you find one of the few good ones out there...

Sadly am still kinda dealing with this(am the YOU of the situation) n now seeing it from diff eyes I'd tell u to let him go n that u don't owe him anything.She put me in some bad *hit when I was abroad just cause she needed a way to get ride of me to get someone else.
Your guy came from a country where they speak english so am sure he'll be fine n will be able to do his errands n stuff,it's not like letting someone from Italy,Spain or somewhere else coming there n be in trouble with the language too so...u need to move over n u r also young so u won't have any probs finding someone nicer

Remind me not to date u

He sounds like a control freak....it will not get any better the exact opposite....get out of the relationship asap

this is true, and believe me ive had my share of counselling. im ok with it now, i understand why it happened and im dealing. as for this guy, he's very controlling. but at least i do see it now, its taken a while but it suddenly hits you *pun....oops* and you realise that there trying to shape and change you as a person. its a scary thing to come to terms with.

there really isnt one, hasnt been for a very long time. i think i just felt a duty towards him to be as accomidating as i could after he moved here.