Please help guys, not sure what to think... Story involved here... (174)
yum_yum: I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU .
SOME PEOPLE HERE DONT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT AND SHE NEED TO GET AWAY FROM THE MAN BY IGNORING HIM AND SOME OF THE COMMENTS.
SOME PEOPLE HERE DONT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT AND SHE NEED TO GET AWAY FROM THE MAN BY IGNORING HIM AND SOME OF THE COMMENTS.
Did any person mention that she should be in touch with him?
You are right, some people here do not know what they are talking about.
Good job you do, because we would be lost without you.
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yum_yum: I think some coments here on this thread are very wrong.
I dont think galway asked if you think she was right or wrong , she just wanted to know if people have the same experiance as her and advice of what to do as she is beating herself over what happened with the slapping.
I think the young girl has been through the mill at such a young age. What we have to remember here is this is a 35 year old man having a relationship with a teenager. That in its own right dont seem right to me.
people saying they dont know the two sides of the story and use there words . It has looked like your making out that this guy might not be as bad as he seems .
The op dont need to hear this because she will be thinking maybe it is her fault and he isnt the bad person and let him carry on what he is doing to her, controling her telling her what and where she can go. Also now he knows she has fought back , that means he needs more power over her, so if she reads the comments of [we dont know this guy we cant judge] might make her fall into this where he needs more power over her and get more violent.
So i would say again to the op, dont listen to some here.
you dont owe him a thing , dont have any conection with him. When he trys talking to you ignore, even if he begs.
Your 19 years old you dont need this crap, you should be out enjoying yourself.
In the end when he knows his controling and power over you has disappeared he will move away.
Make sure too that you go to every pub bar where ever you want to go , you go.
DONT LET THIS MAN RULE YOUR LIFE
I agree with alot of what you say, What really saddened me was to see the Op apologizing for posting her thread, again blaiming herself because of some of the responses she got. It took guts for her to post it in the first place.I dont think galway asked if you think she was right or wrong , she just wanted to know if people have the same experiance as her and advice of what to do as she is beating herself over what happened with the slapping.
I think the young girl has been through the mill at such a young age. What we have to remember here is this is a 35 year old man having a relationship with a teenager. That in its own right dont seem right to me.
people saying they dont know the two sides of the story and use there words . It has looked like your making out that this guy might not be as bad as he seems .
The op dont need to hear this because she will be thinking maybe it is her fault and he isnt the bad person and let him carry on what he is doing to her, controling her telling her what and where she can go. Also now he knows she has fought back , that means he needs more power over her, so if she reads the comments of [we dont know this guy we cant judge] might make her fall into this where he needs more power over her and get more violent.
So i would say again to the op, dont listen to some here.
you dont owe him a thing , dont have any conection with him. When he trys talking to you ignore, even if he begs.
Your 19 years old you dont need this crap, you should be out enjoying yourself.
In the end when he knows his controling and power over you has disappeared he will move away.
Make sure too that you go to every pub bar where ever you want to go , you go.
DONT LET THIS MAN RULE YOUR LIFE
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yum_yum: I think some coments here on this thread are very wrong.
I dont think galway asked if you think she was right or wrong , she just wanted to know if people have the same experiance as her and advice of what to do as she is beating herself over what happened with the slapping.
I think the young girl has been through the mill at such a young age. What we have to remember here is this is a 35 year old man having a relationship with a teenager. That in its own right dont seem right to me.
people saying they dont know the two sides of the story and use there words . It has looked like your making out that this guy might not be as bad as he seems .
The op dont need to hear this because she will be thinking maybe it is her fault and he isnt the bad person and let him carry on what he is doing to her, controling her telling her what and where she can go. Also now he knows she has fought back , that means he needs more power over her, so if she reads the comments of [we dont know this guy we cant judge] might make her fall into this where he needs more power over her and get more violent.
So i would say again to the op, dont listen to some here.
you dont owe him a thing , dont have any conection with him. When he trys talking to you ignore, even if he begs.
Your 19 years old you dont need this crap, you should be out enjoying yourself.
In the end when he knows his controling and power over you has disappeared he will move away.
Make sure too that you go to every pub bar where ever you want to go , you go.
DONT LET THIS MAN RULE YOUR LIFE
I dont think galway asked if you think she was right or wrong , she just wanted to know if people have the same experiance as her and advice of what to do as she is beating herself over what happened with the slapping.
I think the young girl has been through the mill at such a young age. What we have to remember here is this is a 35 year old man having a relationship with a teenager. That in its own right dont seem right to me.
people saying they dont know the two sides of the story and use there words . It has looked like your making out that this guy might not be as bad as he seems .
The op dont need to hear this because she will be thinking maybe it is her fault and he isnt the bad person and let him carry on what he is doing to her, controling her telling her what and where she can go. Also now he knows she has fought back , that means he needs more power over her, so if she reads the comments of [we dont know this guy we cant judge] might make her fall into this where he needs more power over her and get more violent.
So i would say again to the op, dont listen to some here.
you dont owe him a thing , dont have any conection with him. When he trys talking to you ignore, even if he begs.
Your 19 years old you dont need this crap, you should be out enjoying yourself.
In the end when he knows his controling and power over you has disappeared he will move away.
Make sure too that you go to every pub bar where ever you want to go , you go.
DONT LET THIS MAN RULE YOUR LIFE
I agree 100%
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FIRST HAND YES I DO KNOW.
HE HAS MENTALY ABUSED HER WHERE ITS GO TO THE STAGE WHERE SHE WANTS TO HURT HIM BACK. SHE HAS BY SLAPPING HIM
HE WONT STAND FOR THAT , HE WILL HIT HER BACK TWICE AS HARD FOR SURE.
MAYBE NOT OUTSIDE WHERE A MAN WILL SEE AND BUST HIS JAW BECAUSE HE WONT BE ABLE TO HANDLE THAT.
BUT HE WILL.
SO EVERY ONE THATS SAYS NOT TO JUDGE IN MY EYES IS TELLING THE OP THAT MAYBY SHE IS BEING DRAMATIC.
THAT MIGHT MAKE HER WANT TO GO BACK TO THIS MAN AND I THINK IF THIS GIRL WAS YOUR DAUGHTER YOU WOULD NOT OF GIVEN THE WORDS YOU SAID BEFORE.
THINK BEFORE YOU POST SHE IS 19
HE HAS MENTALY ABUSED HER WHERE ITS GO TO THE STAGE WHERE SHE WANTS TO HURT HIM BACK. SHE HAS BY SLAPPING HIM
HE WONT STAND FOR THAT , HE WILL HIT HER BACK TWICE AS HARD FOR SURE.
MAYBE NOT OUTSIDE WHERE A MAN WILL SEE AND BUST HIS JAW BECAUSE HE WONT BE ABLE TO HANDLE THAT.
BUT HE WILL.
SO EVERY ONE THATS SAYS NOT TO JUDGE IN MY EYES IS TELLING THE OP THAT MAYBY SHE IS BEING DRAMATIC.
THAT MIGHT MAKE HER WANT TO GO BACK TO THIS MAN AND I THINK IF THIS GIRL WAS YOUR DAUGHTER YOU WOULD NOT OF GIVEN THE WORDS YOU SAID BEFORE.
THINK BEFORE YOU POST SHE IS 19
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morgan5: I agree with alot of what you say, What really saddened me was to see the Op apologizing for posting her thread, again blaiming herself because of some of the responses she got. It took guts for her to post it in the first place.
yes Morgan it took guts
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livinglarge: yes Morgan it took guts
Hi LL 
all part of facing it,coming out of denial and healing, really hope she finds the courage to move on ------ This thread is Locked ------
What worries me is when people can not see the difference between a traditional slap in the face to more violent behaviour.
There are a lot of talk about gender and equality, but I do not think I speak for me only when I say that if I behave as an idiot with a woman, I should expect nothing less than that slap.
The question is - can you handle it? We are NOT to strike back. Simple gentleman’s rule and it concerns even the worst of us guys.
I am very anti violence in general, but bullying men I had enough of and they become just like the furious bull, hear nothing, see nothing, they simply stomp. That slap stops them dead in the track, and I think what really happens is that it reminds them of the same they got dealt from their mom as kids.
Violence - no thanks.
Wake up call? For sure.
Btw... I was 34 when I met my wife, she was 19. So far I did not have to endure anything of what have been said here simply because there got to be a bit of respect between people. If she had slapped my face, I would for sure have earned it in some way, Latina or not.
There are a lot of talk about gender and equality, but I do not think I speak for me only when I say that if I behave as an idiot with a woman, I should expect nothing less than that slap.
The question is - can you handle it? We are NOT to strike back. Simple gentleman’s rule and it concerns even the worst of us guys.
I am very anti violence in general, but bullying men I had enough of and they become just like the furious bull, hear nothing, see nothing, they simply stomp. That slap stops them dead in the track, and I think what really happens is that it reminds them of the same they got dealt from their mom as kids.
Violence - no thanks.
Wake up call? For sure.
Btw... I was 34 when I met my wife, she was 19. So far I did not have to endure anything of what have been said here simply because there got to be a bit of respect between people. If she had slapped my face, I would for sure have earned it in some way, Latina or not.
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yum_yum: FIRST HAND YES I DO KNOW.
HE HAS MENTALY ABUSED HER WHERE ITS GO TO THE STAGE WHERE SHE WANTS TO HURT HIM BACK. SHE HAS BY SLAPPING HIM
HE WONT STAND FOR THAT , HE WILL HIT HER BACK TWICE AS HARD FOR SURE.
MAYBE NOT OUTSIDE WHERE A MAN WILL SEE AND BUST HIS JAW BECAUSE HE WONT BE ABLE TO HANDLE THAT.
BUT HE WILL.
SO EVERY ONE THATS SAYS NOT TO JUDGE IN MY EYES IS TELLING THE OP THAT MAYBY SHE IS BEING DRAMATIC.
THAT MIGHT MAKE HER WANT TO GO BACK TO THIS MAN AND I THINK IF THIS GIRL WAS YOUR DAUGHTER YOU WOULD NOT OF GIVEN THE WORDS YOU SAID BEFORE.
THINK BEFORE YOU POST SHE IS 19
HE HAS MENTALY ABUSED HER WHERE ITS GO TO THE STAGE WHERE SHE WANTS TO HURT HIM BACK. SHE HAS BY SLAPPING HIM
HE WONT STAND FOR THAT , HE WILL HIT HER BACK TWICE AS HARD FOR SURE.
MAYBE NOT OUTSIDE WHERE A MAN WILL SEE AND BUST HIS JAW BECAUSE HE WONT BE ABLE TO HANDLE THAT.
BUT HE WILL.
SO EVERY ONE THATS SAYS NOT TO JUDGE IN MY EYES IS TELLING THE OP THAT MAYBY SHE IS BEING DRAMATIC.
THAT MIGHT MAKE HER WANT TO GO BACK TO THIS MAN AND I THINK IF THIS GIRL WAS YOUR DAUGHTER YOU WOULD NOT OF GIVEN THE WORDS YOU SAID BEFORE.
THINK BEFORE YOU POST SHE IS 19
Exactly ,
I am shocked that his behaviour is considered by some to be acceptable
What utter crap, born out of desperation to have a man IMO.
Abusive behaviour is just what it says on the tin .........
or that should be Abusive behaviour says what it is on the phychy of the woman or on a bruised face.
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morgan5: Hi LL all part of facing it,coming out of denial and healing, really hope she finds the courage to move on
Hi Morgan
me too , I really hope she moves on and will be able to see certain signs in the future so it never happens to her again
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mike69spain: What worries me is when people can not see the difference between a traditional slap in the face to more violent behaviour.
There are a lot of talk about gender and equality, but I do not think I speak for me only when I say that if I behave as an idiot with a woman, I should expect nothing less than that slap.
The question is - can you handle it? We are NOT to strike back. Simple gentleman’s rule and it concerns even the worst of us guys.
I am very anti violence in general, but bullying men I had enough of and they become just like the furious bull, hear nothing, see nothing, they simply stomp. That slap stops them dead in the track, and I think what really happens is that it reminds them of the same they got dealt from their mom as kids.
Violence - no thanks.
Wake up call? For sure.
Btw... I was 34 when I met my wife, she was 19. So far I did not have to endure anything of what have been said here simply because there got to be a bit of respect between people. If she had slapped my face, I would for sure have earned it in some way, Latina or not.
There are a lot of talk about gender and equality, but I do not think I speak for me only when I say that if I behave as an idiot with a woman, I should expect nothing less than that slap.
The question is - can you handle it? We are NOT to strike back. Simple gentleman’s rule and it concerns even the worst of us guys.
I am very anti violence in general, but bullying men I had enough of and they become just like the furious bull, hear nothing, see nothing, they simply stomp. That slap stops them dead in the track, and I think what really happens is that it reminds them of the same they got dealt from their mom as kids.
Violence - no thanks.
Wake up call? For sure.
Btw... I was 34 when I met my wife, she was 19. So far I did not have to endure anything of what have been said here simply because there got to be a bit of respect between people. If she had slapped my face, I would for sure have earned it in some way, Latina or not.
Oh, I am glad you are here.
See, you read and understand.
I, too, am very anti violence, I remember one day when I was hysterical over an incident and my ex could not reason with me.
He slapped me across the face.
Now, the fact that the relationship did not work out, bears no reflection on him as a man, a loving, wonderful man.
I deserved my slap, it shocked me, brought me to a calm and better place.
It has been mentioned here, that people think his behaviour is acceptable.
No, it is not.
But people advising this young lady that this man is and I quote 'AN ABUSER' is dangerous.
People advising her to give him alot more.
This is my issue and my points. Not in any way minimilising what Galway has been through, or condoning his behaviour.
It is some of the advice given that I am debating, not her torture, of condoning her behaviour.
Do you understand? Petal did. I am not writing in French, or German, I am writing in plain English.
Calling a person an 'abuser' is dangerous and unfounded, only based on what is written. We can only base on what is written, and discuss it.
But her question was, 'has any person been driven to behave in this manner?'
Only Zell, answered that. Without accusing.
So, whilst this young lady is probably terrified, of coming back in here, to say the least. And I hope she does.
And if you do, Galway Girl. Please, please know that I completely sympathise with you and what you have been through.
There are too many one dimensional views that this man is an abuser.
When we do not know that to be the case.
I think this must be the sixth time I have said this.
Nice to see you, Mike, as always.
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yum_yum: FIRST HAND YES I DO KNOW.
HE HAS MENTALY ABUSED HER WHERE ITS GO TO THE STAGE WHERE SHE WANTS TO HURT HIM BACK. SHE HAS BY SLAPPING HIM
HE WONT STAND FOR THAT , HE WILL HIT HER BACK TWICE AS HARD FOR SURE.
MAYBE NOT OUTSIDE WHERE A MAN WILL SEE AND BUST HIS JAW BECAUSE HE WONT BE ABLE TO HANDLE THAT.
BUT HE WILL.
SO EVERY ONE THATS SAYS NOT TO JUDGE IN MY EYES IS TELLING THE OP THAT MAYBY SHE IS BEING DRAMATIC.
THAT MIGHT MAKE HER WANT TO GO BACK TO THIS MAN AND I THINK IF THIS GIRL WAS YOUR DAUGHTER YOU WOULD NOT OF GIVEN THE WORDS YOU SAID BEFORE.
THINK BEFORE YOU POST SHE IS 19
HE HAS MENTALY ABUSED HER WHERE ITS GO TO THE STAGE WHERE SHE WANTS TO HURT HIM BACK. SHE HAS BY SLAPPING HIM
HE WONT STAND FOR THAT , HE WILL HIT HER BACK TWICE AS HARD FOR SURE.
MAYBE NOT OUTSIDE WHERE A MAN WILL SEE AND BUST HIS JAW BECAUSE HE WONT BE ABLE TO HANDLE THAT.
BUT HE WILL.
SO EVERY ONE THATS SAYS NOT TO JUDGE IN MY EYES IS TELLING THE OP THAT MAYBY SHE IS BEING DRAMATIC.
THAT MIGHT MAKE HER WANT TO GO BACK TO THIS MAN AND I THINK IF THIS GIRL WAS YOUR DAUGHTER YOU WOULD NOT OF GIVEN THE WORDS YOU SAID BEFORE.
THINK BEFORE YOU POST SHE IS 19
Yes, some should think before they post.
Telling a 19 year old that she is in a relationship with an abuser.
Guiding her, to leave a relationship and stand up for herself and help to not to be burdened with guilt about delivering a slap is what she wanted, helping her to a better place.
I am just relieved that my 19 daughter does not come here for advice.
I am concerned that a 19 year old woman is being given false information.
She is 19 and if he is an abuser and she returns to him, and tells him that, becuase some here have told her that, what do you think could happen to her?
So you see, I do think, because I have a 19 year old sitting in her apartmennt now, doing her studies.
I don't launch my view in capital letters and shout here.
I say what I see. And I see dangerous advice being given.
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dumbell23: wot an a**hole, blank him and forget about him before he ruins your life altogether
I would not have put it like that.
But I agree.
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she didnt ask any one if he was an abuser.
niether did she ask any one to judge.
I hope she dont come back to this thread because some peoples views of domestic violence are sickening.
I dont think any one who has said go out again and hit him harder. They sound as if there saying good for you for sticking up for yourself and not let this man rule your life.
HE IS AN ABUSER SAYING HE IS AN ABUSER IS NOT DANGEROUS
THE DANGEROUS THING ABOUT THIS IS LETTING THE ABUSER STAY IN CONTROL
niether did she ask any one to judge.
I hope she dont come back to this thread because some peoples views of domestic violence are sickening.
I dont think any one who has said go out again and hit him harder. They sound as if there saying good for you for sticking up for yourself and not let this man rule your life.
HE IS AN ABUSER SAYING HE IS AN ABUSER IS NOT DANGEROUS
THE DANGEROUS THING ABOUT THIS IS LETTING THE ABUSER STAY IN CONTROL
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yum_yum: she didnt ask any one if he was an abuser.
niether did she ask any one to judge.
I hope she dont come back to this thread because some peoples views of domestic violence are sickening.
I dont think any one who has said go out again and hit him harder. They sound as if there saying good for you for sticking up for yourself and not let this man rule your life.HE IS AN ABUSER SAYING HE IS AN ABUSER IS NOT DANGEROUS
THE DANGEROUS THING ABOUT THIS IS LETTING THE ABUSER STAY IN CONTROL
niether did she ask any one to judge.
I hope she dont come back to this thread because some peoples views of domestic violence are sickening.
I dont think any one who has said go out again and hit him harder. They sound as if there saying good for you for sticking up for yourself and not let this man rule your life.HE IS AN ABUSER SAYING HE IS AN ABUSER IS NOT DANGEROUS
THE DANGEROUS THING ABOUT THIS IS LETTING THE ABUSER STAY IN CONTROL
May I ask a question, Yum Yum? In a respectful manner?
Do you personally know the man mentioned in GG's post? Are you friends with GG? Just wondering, is all.
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Sommerauer71: Yes, some should think before they post.
Telling a 19 year old that she is in a relationship with an abuser.
Guiding her, to leave a relationship and stand up for herself and help to not to be burdened with guilt about delivering a slap is what she wanted, helping her to a better place.
I am just relieved that my 19 daughter does not come here for advice.
I am concerned that a 19 year old woman is being given false information.
She is 19 and if he is an abuser and she returns to him, and tells him that, becuase some here have told her that, what do you think could happen to her?
So you see, I do think, because I have a 19 year old sitting in her apartmennt now, doing her studies.
I don't launch my view in capital letters and shout here.
I say what I see. And I see dangerous advice being given.
Sommer, not Everyone has called this guy an abuser or said he deserved more.Telling a 19 year old that she is in a relationship with an abuser.
Guiding her, to leave a relationship and stand up for herself and help to not to be burdened with guilt about delivering a slap is what she wanted, helping her to a better place.
I am just relieved that my 19 daughter does not come here for advice.
I am concerned that a 19 year old woman is being given false information.
She is 19 and if he is an abuser and she returns to him, and tells him that, becuase some here have told her that, what do you think could happen to her?
So you see, I do think, because I have a 19 year old sitting in her apartmennt now, doing her studies.
I don't launch my view in capital letters and shout here.
I say what I see. And I see dangerous advice being given.
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morgan5: Sommer, not Everyone has called this guy an abuser or said he deserved more.
Yes Morgan ,we all see that
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petalbabe: May I ask a question, Yum Yum? In a respectful manner?
Do you personally know the man mentioned in GG's post? Are you friends with GG? Just wondering, is all.
Do you personally know the man mentioned in GG's post? Are you friends with GG? Just wondering, is all.
no i dont know any of them.
what im reading here is a few women looking after a man they dont know.
When a young girl has asked for advice and i think it has took alot for her to do.
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yum_yum: no i dont know any of them.what im reading here is a few women looking after a man they dont know.
When a young girl has asked for advice and i think it has took alot for her to do.
When a young girl has asked for advice and i think it has took alot for her to do.
I agree, Yum Yum, that it took GG alot to post, and I applaud her for that..
I just get uncomfortable making emotive statements about someone I know nothing about.
I have never stood up for the guy's behaviour. I just would rather keep an open mind.
I wish GG all the best for the future..
JMO
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And the point of GG's thread, was to ask if any person had reacted in a way she did.
Now we have an 'abuser' on our hands.
Brilliant.