Please help guys, not sure what to think... Story involved here... (174)
GalwayGirl89: i am now. just shocking what people have to go through. im really sorry for you girls. just dreadful.
I got 2 beautiful children from my marriage that i would never change, but it took me 16 yrs to have the means and the courage to leave him. You keep strong and find someone who deserves you. 
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darren9030: Anyone else nearly in tears over this thread ?
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GalwayGirl89: there really isnt one, hasnt been for a very long time. i think i just felt a duty towards him to be as accomidating as i could after he moved here.
He moved there of hi own free will and if you're lucky, he'll move back to where he came from. Get over the guilt.
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This thread is about a lady who hit a guy. Simple.
Are we saying on here that this guy was such a nasty person that he deserved being slapped?
Because if we are, we have to be careful. There are plenty of women out there who bait their men to the point of distraction, behave in appalling ways and generally behave as badly, in different ways, to the guy in GG's opening post. If the guy lost his temper, and was pushed beyond the point of no return by mental torture, is he then justified in slapping his woman?
Physical strength can be irrelevant. A woman can do as much damage as a man if she is wound up enough, and there are plenty of men out there who are physically abused by their women but rarely report it because of the stigma attached to it.
Are we saying on here that this guy was such a nasty person that he deserved being slapped?
Because if we are, we have to be careful. There are plenty of women out there who bait their men to the point of distraction, behave in appalling ways and generally behave as badly, in different ways, to the guy in GG's opening post. If the guy lost his temper, and was pushed beyond the point of no return by mental torture, is he then justified in slapping his woman?
Physical strength can be irrelevant. A woman can do as much damage as a man if she is wound up enough, and there are plenty of men out there who are physically abused by their women but rarely report it because of the stigma attached to it.
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Shedman01: I am sorry but... LMAO
That was just to funny...
But yeah threads like these truly make you wish that justice could still be served "old west style"...
If I see it with my own eyes then so be it I will defend the defenseless... If only...
and yup, blurry vision here too so don't mind the misspellings please.me
That was just to funny...
But yeah threads like these truly make you wish that justice could still be served "old west style"...
If I see it with my own eyes then so be it I will defend the defenseless... If only...
and yup, blurry vision here too so don't mind the misspellings please.me
I've been where she is. I wish I had done what I want her to do.------ This thread is Locked ------
petalbabe: This thread is about a lady who hit a guy. Simple.
Are we saying on here that this guy was such a nasty person that he deserved being slapped?
Because if we are, we have to be careful. There are plenty of women out there who bait their men to the point of distraction, behave in appalling ways and generally behave as badly, in different ways, to the guy in GG's opening post. If the guy lost his temper, and was pushed beyond the point of no return by mental torture, is he then justified in slapping his woman?
Physical strength can be irrelevant. A woman can do as much damage as a man if she is wound up enough, and there are plenty of men out there who are physically abused by their women but rarely report it because of the stigma attached to it.
Are we saying on here that this guy was such a nasty person that he deserved being slapped?
Because if we are, we have to be careful. There are plenty of women out there who bait their men to the point of distraction, behave in appalling ways and generally behave as badly, in different ways, to the guy in GG's opening post. If the guy lost his temper, and was pushed beyond the point of no return by mental torture, is he then justified in slapping his woman?
Physical strength can be irrelevant. A woman can do as much damage as a man if she is wound up enough, and there are plenty of men out there who are physically abused by their women but rarely report it because of the stigma attached to it.
Yes, we are. Actually, I think many of us are saying that he deserves far worse.
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There is the arguement that violence is never the answer. And I think the OP has tormented herself enough about this.
Yes if the story was reversed and a man posted that a woman 'drove him to it' and he slapped her there would be an outcry that we would hear from behind our screens. It is the cry of many an abusive man acoss the world, 'sorry but you drove me to it' was one I heard many times from my ex after a beating.
But from the op's point of view her ex had mentally abused her and hurt her as much as if he had physically abused her, her lashing out was no more inappropriate than his behaviour towards her.
I retaliated once, when my ex was dragging me across the kitchen by my throat as my son watched, I grabbed a pot and hit him until he let me go, it was the only time I did retaliate and it marked the end of our relationship as I grew stronger after it.
So yes, violence is wrong but his words were to the op every bit as hurtful and violent as if he had struck her and to my mind she was defending herself.
Yes if the story was reversed and a man posted that a woman 'drove him to it' and he slapped her there would be an outcry that we would hear from behind our screens. It is the cry of many an abusive man acoss the world, 'sorry but you drove me to it' was one I heard many times from my ex after a beating.
But from the op's point of view her ex had mentally abused her and hurt her as much as if he had physically abused her, her lashing out was no more inappropriate than his behaviour towards her.
I retaliated once, when my ex was dragging me across the kitchen by my throat as my son watched, I grabbed a pot and hit him until he let me go, it was the only time I did retaliate and it marked the end of our relationship as I grew stronger after it.
So yes, violence is wrong but his words were to the op every bit as hurtful and violent as if he had struck her and to my mind she was defending herself.
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dcj22: Yes, we are. Actually, I think many of us are saying that he deserves far worse.
Maybe, DC. Im not standing up for the guy in any shape or form. Im just saying that it can work both ways.
I just have trouble justifying physical violence in ANY form.
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petalbabe: This thread is about a lady who hit a guy. Simple.
Are we saying on here that this guy was such a nasty person that he deserved being slapped?
Because if we are, we have to be careful. There are plenty of women out there who bait their men to the point of distraction, behave in appalling ways and generally behave as badly, in different ways, to the guy in GG's opening post. If the guy lost his temper, and was pushed beyond the point of no return by mental torture, is he then justified in slapping his woman?
Physical strength can be irrelevant. A woman can do as much damage as a man if she is wound up enough, and there are plenty of men out there who are physically abused by their women but rarely report it because of the stigma attached to it.
would not say any violence is right, think we all agree on that, but we are all human, the Op is sorry she hit him i think people are just trying to support her to move onAre we saying on here that this guy was such a nasty person that he deserved being slapped?
Because if we are, we have to be careful. There are plenty of women out there who bait their men to the point of distraction, behave in appalling ways and generally behave as badly, in different ways, to the guy in GG's opening post. If the guy lost his temper, and was pushed beyond the point of no return by mental torture, is he then justified in slapping his woman?
Physical strength can be irrelevant. A woman can do as much damage as a man if she is wound up enough, and there are plenty of men out there who are physically abused by their women but rarely report it because of the stigma attached to it.
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petalbabe: Maybe, DC. Im not standing up for the guy in any shape or form. Im just saying that it can work both ways.
I just have trouble justifying physical violence in ANY form.
I just have trouble justifying physical violence in ANY form.
You're right seeing it the other way too but he did mentally violated her and that we cant justify either.We understand her sudden reaction to slap while being degraded like that again.Understanding not justifying right?
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You should of kicked him where the sun dont shine
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petalbabe: This thread is about a lady who hit a guy. Simple.
Are we saying on here that this guy was such a nasty person that he deserved being slapped?
Because if we are, we have to be careful. There are plenty of women out there who bait their men to the point of distraction, behave in appalling ways and generally behave as badly, in different ways, to the guy in GG's opening post. If the guy lost his temper, and was pushed beyond the point of no return by mental torture, is he then justified in slapping his woman?
Physical strength can be irrelevant. A woman can do as much damage as a man if she is wound up enough, and there are plenty of men out there who are physically abused by their women but rarely report it because of the stigma attached to it.
Are we saying on here that this guy was such a nasty person that he deserved being slapped?
Because if we are, we have to be careful. There are plenty of women out there who bait their men to the point of distraction, behave in appalling ways and generally behave as badly, in different ways, to the guy in GG's opening post. If the guy lost his temper, and was pushed beyond the point of no return by mental torture, is he then justified in slapping his woman?
Physical strength can be irrelevant. A woman can do as much damage as a man if she is wound up enough, and there are plenty of men out there who are physically abused by their women but rarely report it because of the stigma attached to it.
A valid point and well taken. I myself have slapped a woman and I would indeed do it again... here is why I did and why I would...
If a woman slaps, hits, otherwise physically engauges me in "combat" so to speak I will grant them that one attack and will merely say literally,
"You have had your shot, but know I DO believe in equal rights and I will retaliate in the same fashion as I am attacked should you EVER do it again."
I had one say I wouldn't dare and hauled off and slapped me again and I did the exact same thing in return, slapped her right back. She screamed bloody murder and started to raise her hands to me again and all I could do was state "I meant it" she dropped her hands and just cut loose screaming. Her friends and mine were both giggling at the situation but to me it is a serious thing, and I do firmly believe in it.
It is however something I will not do unless there is at least one witness to the event though too. Any other time I simply shut my mouth and walk away regardless of what hits me from behind...
Now a guy attacks me, I will defend myself without warning first, so there is still a difference in my mind, but if a woman wants to go all out and attack, I will be danged if I am not going to defend myself at the very least. Just my thoughts on the matter.
me
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i really didnt mean to cause a big debate. i should have worded more carefully i think. but i just felt at the time, i was so shocked, my hand reacted before my brain. but i think it gave me closure, which is a positive.
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petalbabe: Maybe, DC. Im not standing up for the guy in any shape or form. Im just saying that it can work both ways.
I just have trouble justifying physical violence in ANY form.
I just have trouble justifying physical violence in ANY form.
I understand that, but I don't have a problem with it. Read y above post. Sometimes physical violence is exactly what is called for.
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petalbabe: Hi Dru
Yes, I advised GG to move on and stop tormenting herself way, way back in the thread.
I was just trying to balance things up a little here!
Interesting thread..
Yes, I advised GG to move on and stop tormenting herself way, way back in the thread.
I was just trying to balance things up a little here!
Interesting thread..
Devil's advocate, eh? I kinda wondered about your responses on this, Petal.
Yes, an interesting thread. I just never think self defense is wrong, no matter who's doing it. And this certainly sounded like a slap out of self defense. So, kudos from me to her for it. JMO.
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GalwayGirl89: i really didnt mean to cause a big debate. i should have worded more carefully i think. but i just felt at the time, i was so shocked, my hand reacted before my brain. but i think it gave me closure, which is a positive.
yes it is, and don't feel bad about what you posted, it was fine ------ This thread is Locked ------
GalwayGirl89: i really didnt mean to cause a big debate. i should have worded more carefully i think. but i just felt at the time, i was so shocked, my hand reacted before my brain. but i think it gave me closure, which is a positive.
Hun you did absolutely nothing wrong in posting here...
Your words are you and I bet this helps you in a funny way...
One you are not alone
Two there are good men
Three you have got it off your chest
You have friends here.....
This behaviour has to be highlighted to make people aware and show it is not acceptable for men to control woman...
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GalwayGirl89: i really didnt mean to cause a big debate. i should have worded more carefully i think. but i just felt at the time, i was so shocked, my hand reacted before my brain. but i think it gave me closure, which is a positive.
The closure is what you needed, sweetie. Don't worry about it.
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GalwayGirl89: i really didnt mean to cause a big debate. i should have worded more carefully i think. but i just felt at the time, i was so shocked, my hand reacted before my brain. but i think it gave me closure, which is a positive.
Ah, but you asked for our opinions, and we love to give them. You did nothing wrong by asking, and you didn't cause a big debate. And this is a very good thread. You're also not alone in having been in this situation...it's one that needs to be discussed, not hidden. It was hidden for way too many years before our generations.
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I sure hope so ...