how do you fall in love with a computer monitor.... ( Archived) (208)

This makes sense. Lust is not a bad word. Good for you.

Hey Dru....Truer words were never spoken. You don't know someone until you live under the same roof. I worked with someone that I dated for two years. Fell in love with him. He moved to another state and asked me to come along. I said no at first but then changed my mind and it was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. Once I lived with him he was a different person.

Like I said, even living under the same roof doesn't always tell you what they're like. I lived with the last husband that I divorced for 6 months before we married...still didn't know the real him.

How many women have discovered they were married to murderers and such, and never suspected it? Do you ever really know another?

Sorry, I know that's a bit OT.

I think as a man who is self described as a visual person I believe you can fall in love with an image on the computer. We go to movies and find outselves attracted to the movie star. We watch television and lust for someone on the screen. We watch videos on our computers and long for that person. I read the news on my computer and see pictures of women and I find myself drawn to them.

We all know men and women are different in many ways. I do believe guys are more visual than women. So to answer the OP question I think we can build up an image into our minds that become very powerful. Is it love, I doubt it. It could develop into a relationship that good lead to love.

I disagree with you final sentence. You state that we are not what we say. I truly believe a man is exactly what he says. We hold our leaders accountable for each word that comes out of their mouth. A man lives by his word. His actions must follow his word to be consistant.

Hi Venere

I agree that we form images to the point of what the person is doing at the time we talk to them. I may think he is smiling because of something I said, or he is listening intently because I'm upset about something.

We "see what we want to see" and then we have only ourselves to blame for reading into what he or she said.

Good morning John

Let's be hypothetical here....

You and I write in private email. We get along, we get happy, we talk on the phone, we hear from each other what we want to hear and each of us decides I like him, I like her. All we know about each other is what we tell each other in email or on the phone.

This goes on for five months. We don't see how each other handles themselves in real life. Computers are not real life. They are a means of communication.

The reason I say "you are what you do...not what you say" is because ..... talk is cheap and you can say anything you want on the phone or through a keyboard. But if you do something for someone, that is part of who you are.

Let's say my daughter is in the hospital. You say, I wish I could be there to help you. I perceive that to mean, you would be by my side comforting me, but in real life you aren't the kind of person who believes in listening to me cry about something.

This is all make believe John.

We are going to agree to disagree on this subject. You seem to want to be able to separate words an actions. Whether the words are spoken in 'real life', written letters, or the internet does not differ in what we expect from people. It is the same as people actions in physically doing things. Your example does not matter how the words were expressed, the people did not follow through with their intentions.

There are good in bad in both worlds. I am a trusting man and believe there are good people here in this 'internet' world. I refused to eliminate everyone here because the big bad wolf has scared many of you.

Oh boy, I figured it would come to this. I never implied that you are not a trusting man. It was a hypothetical scenario

And yes, we will agree to disagree with respect to each other.

John, this has nothing to do with trusting people on the computer. It has nothing to do with scammers.

It has everything to do with emotions. How we perceive what someone says to us.

It's about people who say they are in love with someone they met on the computer but never met in real life.