how do you fall in love with a computer monitor.... (208)
kidatheart: Everyone on here is behind a screen.
If I'm unsure of something someone has written, I'll ask for clarification, if I feel it's important. If the post is directed at me, as in quoting me, or referring to me by name, then I'll know it was intended for me. Otherwise you're just assuming things, which is what really gets people into trouble, not necessarily the perception of what was written.
Same goes for trust, if you're not trusting of others, your guard will always be up, and you might start finding reasons to not trust someone, even if they aren't there.
That's what I like about this medium, you get to see how people relate to others in conversations. The words they use and how they receive the words of others do say something about them.
If I'm unsure of something someone has written, I'll ask for clarification, if I feel it's important. If the post is directed at me, as in quoting me, or referring to me by name, then I'll know it was intended for me. Otherwise you're just assuming things, which is what really gets people into trouble, not necessarily the perception of what was written.
Same goes for trust, if you're not trusting of others, your guard will always be up, and you might start finding reasons to not trust someone, even if they aren't there.
That's what I like about this medium, you get to see how people relate to others in conversations. The words they use and how they receive the words of others do say something about them.
I couldn't agree with you more and that's not a bad thing because it develops caution.
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kidatheart: Everyone on here is behind a screen.
Is that you Wizard of Oz? Are you behind the screen? Are you pulling the levers?
I hate it when I have to agree with most people! Kidatheart you continue to make valid points which I believe and support.
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kidatheart: Everyone on here is behind a screen.
If I'm unsure of something someone has written, I'll ask for clarification, if I feel it's important. If the post is directed at me, as in quoting me, or referring to me by name, then I'll know it was intended for me. Otherwise you're just assuming things, which is what really gets people into trouble, not necessarily the perception of what was written.
Same goes for trust, if you're not trusting of others, your guard will always be up, and you might start finding reasons to not trust someone, even if they aren't there.
That's what I like about this medium, you get to see how people relate to others in conversations. The words they use and how they receive the words of others do say something about them.
If I'm unsure of something someone has written, I'll ask for clarification, if I feel it's important. If the post is directed at me, as in quoting me, or referring to me by name, then I'll know it was intended for me. Otherwise you're just assuming things, which is what really gets people into trouble, not necessarily the perception of what was written.
Same goes for trust, if you're not trusting of others, your guard will always be up, and you might start finding reasons to not trust someone, even if they aren't there.
That's what I like about this medium, you get to see how people relate to others in conversations. The words they use and how they receive the words of others do say something about them.
Kid i agree 100 per cent.
The problem is a mixture between perception of the reader, in comparison to the sincerity of the poster.
If they are both honest, they will be able to meet like minded people,and then hopefully build a future relationship.
I'm really open, and as a result people will get a concept of how my life is....which is quite unhappy and worrying at present!
If someone asks why i'll tell them, but either way i won't furnish them with every last detail in the forums!
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Big_John: Is that you Wizard of Oz? Are you behind the screen? Are you pulling the levers?
I hate it when I have to agree with most people! Kidatheart you continue to make valid points which I believe and support.
I hate it when I have to agree with most people! Kidatheart you continue to make valid points which I believe and support.
Thanks John
No, I'm not the Wizard of Oz, and the only thing I'm pulling today is nails.
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RobbieM: Kid i agree 100 per cent.
The problem is a mixture between perception of the reader, in comparison to the sincerity of the poster.
If they are both honest, they will be able to meet like minded people,and then hopefully build a future relationship.
I'm really open, and as a result people will get a concept of how my life is....which is quite unhappy and worrying at present!
If someone asks why i'll tell them, but either way i won't furnish them with every last detail in the forums!
The problem is a mixture between perception of the reader, in comparison to the sincerity of the poster.
If they are both honest, they will be able to meet like minded people,and then hopefully build a future relationship.
I'm really open, and as a result people will get a concept of how my life is....which is quite unhappy and worrying at present!
If someone asks why i'll tell them, but either way i won't furnish them with every last detail in the forums!
I wish I had done that a long time ago. I've told too much of my story right from the start when I joined the forums. In real life, I'm very private.
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gordy22222: hey dru i had that happen to me twice . both shack ups lasted ten yrs then both of then just had to get married an i didnt want to . so we did and in both cases when we said i doooo we were done ,even if it took another 5-10 years to get shed of each other .that godamn piece of paper has wreaked a lot of lives, not jus mine, i have told any of the kids that i had a hand in raising , dont get married it will wreck yer life and y dont have t be married t have kids ,far tooo many ppl are controlled by religion and social pressure ..
Gordy, I've known two relationships where that happened. Lived together for 10 years, got married, divorced within a year or two because one partner suddenly changed. And I was friends with both couples, saw the change in one partner first hand. Yep, it happens. That's why I say that there's just as much chance of that happening in person as there is online...you have to take the risk sometime, or live the rest of your life alone. I'm willing to take the risk. And no matter what, you never know for sure if you know the person...you have to trust your gut and their honesty. Life is a crapshoot, and sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. I'm a gambler who would rather lose a few times in the hope of winning the big one than never play the game.
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Apostophe: Goodness me snuggs - sorry for the confusion - no i wasn't adressing you personally - i was adressing the people i suspect of being warpminded - a bit cryptic - please accept my apologies.
WOW...good thing I went back through the thread. I didn't see your post. Thanks for the explanation. I take full responsibility of misinterpreting what you wrote
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Snuggs09: WOW...good thing I went back through the thread. I didn't see your post. Thanks for the explanation. I take full responsibility of misinterpreting what you wrote
Well you also missed mine back there..
Me myself and I fell in love with my husband..
it was not lust..I met him in real and still
felt what i felt when i talk to him on here..
He to this day has not surprise me into me second quessing him..
I know my heart and no one else does..
So if i say i love him then i did..
And to anyone else on here that says those words to another..
then who am i to second quess that..
Your heart is ur own..and you know it best
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Snuggs09: I wish I had done that a long time ago. I've told too much of my story right from the start when I joined the forums. In real life, I'm very private.
Here is a salutary lesson what can happen on this very website.
One gentleman with a fake profile took a very unhealthy interest in my life, he was clearly studying what i said day to day, thread to thread and then one day he exploded.
The upshot was he mentioned while laughing how much i must be missing my son!
To say this was low is an understatement, but then he made it clear to me that he was clearly studying my posts and concluded "how is it that people like you can have children, when i am not able to have children.That's unfair"
To say people went mad at him is an understatement, and clearly this a heads up for anyone thinking everyone out there is normal!
Needless to say, shortly afterwards the member was deleted from the site after making other abusive comments about the site, and they basically got so fed up with his ranting he had to be deleted.
So, be aware everyone, that not everyone reading your posts is a normal balanced human being, and you don't even need to be a site member to read the content of the forums....anyone can read what you type!
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kissmedeeply: Well you also missed mine back there..
Me myself and I fell in love with my husband..
it was not lust..I met him in real and still
felt what i felt when i talk to him on here..
He to this day has not surprise me into me second quessing him..
I know my heart and no one else does..
So if i say i love him then i did..
And to anyone else on here that says those words to another..
then who am i to second quess that..
Your heart is ur own..and you know it best
Me myself and I fell in love with my husband..
it was not lust..I met him in real and still
felt what i felt when i talk to him on here..
He to this day has not surprise me into me second quessing him..
I know my heart and no one else does..
So if i say i love him then i did..
And to anyone else on here that says those words to another..
then who am i to second quess that..
Your heart is ur own..and you know it best
I agree,nobody knows how you feel better than yourself.
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druidess6308: Gordy, I've known two relationships where that happened. Lived together for 10 years, got married, divorced within a year or two because one partner suddenly changed. And I was friends with both couples, saw the change in one partner first hand. Yep, it happens. That's why I say that there's just as much chance of that happening in person as there is online...you have to take the risk sometime, or live the rest of your life alone. I'm willing to take the risk. And no matter what, you never know for sure if you know the person...you have to trust your gut and their honesty. Life is a crapshoot, and sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. I'm a gambler who would rather lose a few times in the hope of winning the big one than never play the game.
Hi Dru....I went for the big one....you all know the story....if you don't....the short version is I knew him in high school...45 years later we met up, fell "in love" and for the next 10 months I sent him check after check and gift after gift. We lived in two different states. We talked about living together. Christmas 2005 we met up again. He took me to the airport and I never saw him again after spending $60,000 on him. He threw me out to the garbage after he was done with me.
Do you think I want to "lose a few times" like that as you say. Not on your life!! I had to file bankruptcy because of him. Those days are gone.
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waiting4u: I agree,nobody knows how you feel better than yourself.
THank you darling------ This thread is Archived ------
kissmedeeply: Well you also missed mine back there..
Me myself and I fell in love with my husband..
it was not lust..I met him in real and still
felt what i felt when i talk to him on here..
He to this day has not surprise me into me second quessing him..
I know my heart and no one else does..
So if i say i love him then i did..
And to anyone else on here that says those words to another..
then who am i to second quess that..
Your heart is ur own..and you know it best
Me myself and I fell in love with my husband..
it was not lust..I met him in real and still
felt what i felt when i talk to him on here..
He to this day has not surprise me into me second quessing him..
I know my heart and no one else does..
So if i say i love him then i did..
And to anyone else on here that says those words to another..
then who am i to second quess that..
Your heart is ur own..and you know it best
I'm sorry I missed your post.
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Truth is it can and does happen. It has happend with me. but when you talk to someone every night for more then a year you really get to know that person. you get to know who and what they really are.
I have also met many in person, and found after a few months there not what I may have thought at first either. there is no difference in learning who someone is thru computer/phone then in person. and for some it is easier that way, some can be more them selves with out the pressures of wanting to make an impression.
All I know is I met someone here on CS, and after a year I would not give him up for anything.
I have also met many in person, and found after a few months there not what I may have thought at first either. there is no difference in learning who someone is thru computer/phone then in person. and for some it is easier that way, some can be more them selves with out the pressures of wanting to make an impression.
All I know is I met someone here on CS, and after a year I would not give him up for anything.
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Paradox67: Snuggs09, sadly, any time you trust someone you risk being hurt. Get to know the person however you feel comfortable doing so and try not to let personal feelings get in the way of the truth.
Good advice to remember as one traverses the net and any other place.
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catchastar2: Truth is it can and does happen. It has happend with me. but when you talk to someone every night for more then a year you really get to know that person. you get to know who and what they really are.
I have also met many in person, and found after a few months there not what I may have thought at first either. there is no difference in learning who someone is thru computer/phone then in person. and for some it is easier that way, some can be more them selves with out the pressures of wanting to make an impression.
All I know is I met someone here on CS, and after a year I would not give him up for anything.
I have also met many in person, and found after a few months there not what I may have thought at first either. there is no difference in learning who someone is thru computer/phone then in person. and for some it is easier that way, some can be more them selves with out the pressures of wanting to make an impression.
All I know is I met someone here on CS, and after a year I would not give him up for anything.
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I have read through this thread and to be very blunt I can not help but feel sympathy for many who have expressed their inability to Love without "meeting" (physically being in the same location as another person) someone.
Why do I feel this? Because to me it shows how life has created walls around the hearts of people who have a great deal of Love to give and yet will not give it for the fears of the pain it may bring./quote
Shedman:
I've recieved emails from several people I've gotten to know from this site who I wouldn't be afraid to tell them that I loved them but that doesn't mean I'm 'In Love' with them.
Like you I've been hurt by my family too but I would do anything for them although we don't get along.
I've had people say hurtful things about me and do hurtful things to me but that hasn't turned me into a bitter person because of it.I'm able to love people anyway.
And I've done many different things for people and rarely ever recieved as much as a thank you from them but that doesn't stop me from doing things for others anyway.
There's someone on this site that I talk to on a daily basis and now we've gotten to the point that we've began talking on the phone. We're not in love in the sense of being in a love relationship but we've become close in the sense of forming a online friendship and we're there for each other when we just need to vent or whatever the case may be.We both have discussed this further into our conversations that no matter where our friendship leads it won't make a difference cause we'll still have the love & respect we share as only being online friends.I believe without begining as friends first you don't have much of a relationship anyway.
Why do I feel this? Because to me it shows how life has created walls around the hearts of people who have a great deal of Love to give and yet will not give it for the fears of the pain it may bring./quote
Shedman:
I've recieved emails from several people I've gotten to know from this site who I wouldn't be afraid to tell them that I loved them but that doesn't mean I'm 'In Love' with them.
Like you I've been hurt by my family too but I would do anything for them although we don't get along.
I've had people say hurtful things about me and do hurtful things to me but that hasn't turned me into a bitter person because of it.I'm able to love people anyway.
And I've done many different things for people and rarely ever recieved as much as a thank you from them but that doesn't stop me from doing things for others anyway.
There's someone on this site that I talk to on a daily basis and now we've gotten to the point that we've began talking on the phone. We're not in love in the sense of being in a love relationship but we've become close in the sense of forming a online friendship and we're there for each other when we just need to vent or whatever the case may be.We both have discussed this further into our conversations that no matter where our friendship leads it won't make a difference cause we'll still have the love & respect we share as only being online friends.I believe without begining as friends first you don't have much of a relationship anyway.
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jlb684: Shed, I liked what you wrote, but I am one of the ones for whom you cannot help but feel sympathy.
Please try your best to rid yourself of any sympathy for me, for I am very content with my stance.
....
Please try your best to rid yourself of any sympathy for me, for I am very content with my stance.
....
I was not trying to offer a negative feeling with my comment about sympathy.
I can accept people being cautious with their hearts even if I don't understand it because of my own views on it all. So I do hope it was not an offensive wording I used as it was only meant to reflect my personal feelings of compassion that I hold for others and the hope I have for them to experience truly giving relationships... that's all.
It sounds to me like you would at some point release the Love you have for another and that is great, my sympathy was meant more for those who seem to never be willing to do that again no matter what, and some of the comments made in this thread speak in that direction. It seems for some that even after knowing someone they can't fully release their hearts and so caution prevails over all else and it seems that for some folks they will never give completely of their Love again.
That is where my sympathy flows to, I just can't help that, so hopefully that helps to clarify so that my comment doesn't feel negative to anyone.
me
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catchastar2: Truth is it can and does happen. It has happend with me. but when you talk to someone every night for more then a year you really get to know that person. you get to know who and what they really are.
I have also met many in person, and found after a few months there not what I may have thought at first either. there is no difference in learning who someone is thru computer/phone then in person. and for some it is easier that way, some can be more them selves with out the pressures of wanting to make an impression.
All I know is I met someone here on CS, and after a year I would not give him up for anything.
I have also met many in person, and found after a few months there not what I may have thought at first either. there is no difference in learning who someone is thru computer/phone then in person. and for some it is easier that way, some can be more them selves with out the pressures of wanting to make an impression.
All I know is I met someone here on CS, and after a year I would not give him up for anything.
Well Catch, it seems you proved me wrong and I'm glad for you.
However, I still prefer to be cautious. The idea of this thread came to me when quite a few women last week said they found someone on CS and are happy with them. I don't know if all those people are physically together but it doesn't matter, they are happy and they lead their life they want to.
I hope that we are all still friends. We had a lot of differences of opinion and except for my misunderstanding of Apostrophe (which I apologized for), there was no bashing and the thread stayed on track. That's pretty darm good as far as I'm concerned.
It's 4:30 on a Sunday night and I have to go home (I'm still in the office).
Thank you for being good sports.
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To make my point clearer, If a person, any person on here, told me that they didn't like people, and didn't take care of themselves, I'd personally see that as warning signs of a recluse or someone with problems and I would avoid them because that is certainly not what I am looking for in an open loving relationship.
I wasn't being personal to you, but just using what you pointed out about him, as an example to make my point.
At the end of the day, as with all of us, we sometimes don't see what can mean trouble later on in life, mostly because we are not looking for it at the time when we are making a decision whether to be with them or not.
In that respect the internet is no different from real life.
Ginger, if there was email in the days when my husband and I were dating, I wouldn't have known anymore about him in email then I did in the letters we wrote on a piece of paper which were lengthy and in penmanship.
I think we see what we want to see. We read into something what we want it to be.