Double Dating (90)
venere08: Symbol. Ever thought he might be hiding something?
Something he might not want you to find out about, perhaps?
And as the time grew nearer to you two possibly meeting, he kinda thought he had better fess up? Just a thought. I know, I would fail detective school!
Something he might not want you to find out about, perhaps?
And as the time grew nearer to you two possibly meeting, he kinda thought he had better fess up? Just a thought. I know, I would fail detective school!
Nah, actually I think he's being honest now that he wasn't seeing that woman while he was talking to me and that he somehow figured he couldn't do "real" double dating (i.e. coming over) but should just keep me as a friend... Well typical hosebrain thinking if you ask me but he does owe me a real explanation.
symbolistartist: Yeah well maybe I should. You're really quite smart Phoenix.
Nothing lost, symbol.
If it doesn't turn out with him, you could always call on the Queen!
symbolistartist: Nah, actually I think he's being honest now that he wasn't seeing that woman while he was talking to me and that he somehow figured he couldn't do "real" double dating (i.e. coming over) but should just keep me as a friend... Well typical hosebrain thinking if you ask me but he does owe me a real explanation.
Hmmmm...symbol.
What can I say. You're one place. He is in another.
You're not really in a position to exactly who he is with.
What you DO know is that he is not coming to see you.
The reasons could be numerous. But for now, he may just not be that into you. Symbol, I'm the expert on this. Trust me!
(P.S. I'm just calling it from an outsider looking in, and knowing how blind I would probably be in similar circumstances!)
venere08: Hmmmm...symbol.
What can I say. You're one place. He is in another.
You're not really in a position to exactly who he is with.
What you DO know is that he is not coming to see you.
The reasons could be numerous. But for now, he may just not be that into you. Symbol, I'm the expert on this. Trust me!
(P.S. I'm just calling it from an outsider looking in, and knowing how blind I would probably be in similar circumstances!)
What can I say. You're one place. He is in another.
You're not really in a position to exactly who he is with.
What you DO know is that he is not coming to see you.
The reasons could be numerous. But for now, he may just not be that into you. Symbol, I'm the expert on this. Trust me!
(P.S. I'm just calling it from an outsider looking in, and knowing how blind I would probably be in similar circumstances!)
I hope you don't think my email to you was a scam...... you didn't reply!
Who? Venere?
Your post I did answer indirectly, it was imbedded in other stuff I think. Thanks for being here!
Your post I did answer indirectly, it was imbedded in other stuff I think. Thanks for being here!
rusty_knight: I hope you don't think my email to you was a scam...... you didn't reply!
Oh, shute, rustyyyyyyyyy!
Ummm, I worked today.
ummm...then tonight there was such a gripping thread on the Inters, I just couldn't tear myself away..
That's the one showing me how I can make a million dollars selling Lago ten times over without him knowing?
That the one?
Blimey, be right back.
The cure for loneliness is making a family out of whatever comes to hand: a mad old person living next door, a pot plant, two stick insects, the daughter of the mad person next door, an inarticulate email acquaintance and two dogs could make a family.
cor blimey, someone been telling you my most intimate secrets. I'll skin that bloody cat yet.
cor blimey, someone been telling you my most intimate secrets. I'll skin that bloody cat yet.
venere08: Not about suspicion. You just don't have all the facts.
And I know all about wanting to see only what I want see, and hear only what I want to hear.
If you can go there, that would be the best thing. You'd be surprised how you can put so much in perspective that way.
But if he says no, then you need to respect that. Needy is the last thing you wanna be, symbol. Oh, one last cent's worth...never a good idea asking him to come up with why he thinks she is better than you. You will only help him cement his opinion in that direction. JMO
But you've already done that Now just wait for his response.
And I know all about wanting to see only what I want see, and hear only what I want to hear.
If you can go there, that would be the best thing. You'd be surprised how you can put so much in perspective that way.
But if he says no, then you need to respect that. Needy is the last thing you wanna be, symbol. Oh, one last cent's worth...never a good idea asking him to come up with why he thinks she is better than you. You will only help him cement his opinion in that direction. JMO
But you've already done that Now just wait for his response.
Here's a quizz for you if you like: he showed me his appointment to the passport office. Now why would he do that? He's a smart guy, surely he doesn't think the fact that he was going to get it for my sake helps any at all?
Hm, I don't really have anything to lose so asking why I was ditched is hardly a problem. I can see your point but on the other hand it could make him reconsider. Though I've said that I don't take anyone back who's ditched me that bluntly. Yeah so no needy here, good reminder though as it could suddenly appear that I am... must keep it in mind. But I can be quite strong even if I'm losing something potentially precious. I have experience of that I guess. Letting go.
Yeah I could certainly go there but I saw his gesture of wanting to come here first quite gallant and not like the other dude I wasted a year on. But no matter what I think it's up to him. I was preparing for him to come, it feels odd to just drop all that. Sigh.
symbolistartist: I was preparing for him to come, it feels odd to just drop all that. Sigh.
It would be so hard having it happen this way, suddenly your world turns upside down as it were. Not that you won't cope. Of-course you will. But the hurt is there, naturally it is. Nothing we say can change that for you. I really feel for you, symbol. A tough time to go through. But it will ease, and then even disappear one day, and hopefully soon, replaced by someone more deserving of you.
venere08: Oh, shute, rustyyyyyyyyy!
Ummm, I worked today.
ummm...then tonight there was such a gripping thread on the Inters, I just couldn't tear myself away..
That's the one showing me how I can make a million dollars selling Lago ten times over without him knowing?
That the one?
Blimey, be right back.
Ummm, I worked today.
ummm...then tonight there was such a gripping thread on the Inters, I just couldn't tear myself away..
That's the one showing me how I can make a million dollars selling Lago ten times over without him knowing?
That the one?
Blimey, be right back.
Lago is like Rembrandt and that guy who maybe or maybe didn't cut off his own ear but (instead had it chopped off in a fight over some woman) - his paintings will surely be worth more once he is 'no more'................ only invest in Lago's paintings if you feel confident you'll outlive the man!
venere08: It would be so hard having it happen this way, suddenly your world turns upside down as it were. Not that you won't cope. Of-course you will. But the hurt is there, naturally it is. Nothing we say can change that for you. I really feel for you, symbol. A tough time to go through. But it will ease, and then even disappear one day, and hopefully soon, replaced by someone more deserving of you.
It's the emptiness we fear the most I think. My heart is alright, I doubt I can fall in love over the net. It's more a matter of changing gears... always hard to do isn't it. But you guys ARE helping. TRULY. Filling up some emptiness and giving me food for thought. Thanks.
symbolistartist: Oh try me, who knows... I might actually make it to a full smile today...
Well I can hardly go if he's not there to meet me can I? No, not having my romantic ideas spoilt in that way; sweaty walks and buses and then a closed door. Great.
On the other hand if I went with a friend... am thinking of one now... and then said I'm there come and see for yourself?
Well I can hardly go if he's not there to meet me can I? No, not having my romantic ideas spoilt in that way; sweaty walks and buses and then a closed door. Great.
On the other hand if I went with a friend... am thinking of one now... and then said I'm there come and see for yourself?
if you're going to meet somebody like that then let them know upfront in advance ...and THERE WILL BE PART OF YOUR ANSWER BEFORE YOU MEET
but always remember darling ' NEVER LOVE ANYBODY MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF ' and thats before you step out your front door to meet anybody
prepare yourself for possible rejection by building a buffer before we contact him...
if you say that you're going to be in london or what ever city the guy is in on bussiness for the weekend or a few days or so
and could meet up with him on your way to somewhere else if you've both got time...and see what he says first
then you can take things from there
but if he does'nt even want to meet you even if you're near his part off town just passing through to say a quick hello ...then drop him like a bad habit darling...and cancel the trip
i've got some stories to tell you once "the real talking" starts
but no rush
I also found interesting that you said that "Incredibly, flaky ones who do not know what they want or just want to fool around, are gravitated towards the ones who are HONEST and have their act together!". VERY interesting and I'd love to hear more about that! It's funny that this guy actually loved the honesty in my profile (another site actually) but then proved to be what you say here - flakey and dishonest. Can you elaborate?
I think that as humans we always admire traits which we don't have but would love to. So, maybe your honesty/act together character attracts those who are opposite and look at you with initial admiration(them wishing to possess such traits). But, somewhere along the line, when it comes to the crunch, and they HAVE TO/NEED to act with integrity, they are NOT ready for, or capable of it. They cannot face the challenge they are presented with. And you will now become too much of a BIG *thing* for them to handle. So, they back off with some lame excuse.
Or otherwise, knowing you are such a woman of integrity and artistic, making you an extra loving person... makes them want to go in *for the kill*. An ego based pursuit with no serious foundation or intention. I guess they think: *Mmm great all 'round woman, now let's see if I can reel her in*. Once you show mutual interest, they lose theirs.
Bottom line.. no use wasting energy thinking how and why (used to do that myself). I've learned to force myself to get over that b******* as soon as possible, and think: SO be it.. NEXT!
I think that as humans we always admire traits which we don't have but would love to. So, maybe your honesty/act together character attracts those who are opposite and look at you with initial admiration(them wishing to possess such traits). But, somewhere along the line, when it comes to the crunch, and they HAVE TO/NEED to act with integrity, they are NOT ready for, or capable of it. They cannot face the challenge they are presented with. And you will now become too much of a BIG *thing* for them to handle. So, they back off with some lame excuse.
Or otherwise, knowing you are such a woman of integrity and artistic, making you an extra loving person... makes them want to go in *for the kill*. An ego based pursuit with no serious foundation or intention. I guess they think: *Mmm great all 'round woman, now let's see if I can reel her in*. Once you show mutual interest, they lose theirs.
Bottom line.. no use wasting energy thinking how and why (used to do that myself). I've learned to force myself to get over that b******* as soon as possible, and think: SO be it.. NEXT!
CORRECTION
gillyloves69: if you're going to meet somebody like that then let them know upfront in advance ...and THERE WILL BE PART OF YOUR ANSWER BEFORE YOU MEET
but always remember darling ' NEVER LOVE ANYBODY MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF ' and thats before you step out your front door to meet anybody
prepare yourself for possible rejection by building a buffer before
YOU
contact him... BECAUSE ITS REALLY ABOUT THE POSSIBLE ROMANCE OR FRIENDSHIP BETWEENM YOU BOTH ..NOT YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR FRIENDSHIP WITH ANYBODY ELSE LOVE !
if you say that you're going to be in london or what ever city the guy is in on bussiness for the weekend or a few days or so
and could meet up with him on your way to somewhere else if you've both got time...and see what he says first
then you can take things from there
but if he does'nt even want to meet you even if you're near his part off town just passing through to say a quick hello ...then drop him like a bad habit darling...and cancel the trip
i've got some stories to tell you once "the real talking" starts
but no rush
but always remember darling ' NEVER LOVE ANYBODY MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF ' and thats before you step out your front door to meet anybody
prepare yourself for possible rejection by building a buffer before
YOU
contact him... BECAUSE ITS REALLY ABOUT THE POSSIBLE ROMANCE OR FRIENDSHIP BETWEENM YOU BOTH ..NOT YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR FRIENDSHIP WITH ANYBODY ELSE LOVE !
if you say that you're going to be in london or what ever city the guy is in on bussiness for the weekend or a few days or so
and could meet up with him on your way to somewhere else if you've both got time...and see what he says first
then you can take things from there
but if he does'nt even want to meet you even if you're near his part off town just passing through to say a quick hello ...then drop him like a bad habit darling...and cancel the trip
i've got some stories to tell you once "the real talking" starts
but no rush
Hm so a mock trip in other words? I have trouble lying myself, haha. Dunno, might just plan in something this summer, but then again I have no where to go and not much money. That is, I have no money now but will most likely have some a little later this month. But otherwise, yeah, pretty clear to me that's pretty much how to proceed in that case. I guess what I feel right now is do I wish to wait that long for a possible rejection that would probably feel even worse than now... Dunno. I think this guy has some figuring out to do actually. Best wait to see if he is willing to be more articulate, if not I think I'll be more than willing to drop him in any case.
twinself:
I think that as humans we always admire traits which we don't have but would love to. So, maybe your honesty/act together character attracts those who are opposite and look at you with initial admiration(them wishing to possess such traits). But, somewhere along the line, when it comes to the crunch, and they HAVE TO/NEED to act with integrity, they are NOT ready for, or capable of it. They cannot face the challenge they are presented with. And you will now become too much of a BIG *thing* for them to handle. So, they back off with some lame excuse.
Or otherwise, knowing you are such a woman of integrity and artistic, making you an extra loving person... makes them want to go in *for the kill*. An ego based pursuit with no serious foundation or intention. I guess they think: *Mmm great all 'round woman, now let's see if I can reel her in*. Once you show mutual interest, they lose theirs.
Bottom line.. no use wasting energy thinking how and why (used to do that myself). I've learned to force myself to get over that b******* as soon as possible, and think: SO be it.. NEXT!
I think that as humans we always admire traits which we don't have but would love to. So, maybe your honesty/act together character attracts those who are opposite and look at you with initial admiration(them wishing to possess such traits). But, somewhere along the line, when it comes to the crunch, and they HAVE TO/NEED to act with integrity, they are NOT ready for, or capable of it. They cannot face the challenge they are presented with. And you will now become too much of a BIG *thing* for them to handle. So, they back off with some lame excuse.
Or otherwise, knowing you are such a woman of integrity and artistic, making you an extra loving person... makes them want to go in *for the kill*. An ego based pursuit with no serious foundation or intention. I guess they think: *Mmm great all 'round woman, now let's see if I can reel her in*. Once you show mutual interest, they lose theirs.
Bottom line.. no use wasting energy thinking how and why (used to do that myself). I've learned to force myself to get over that b******* as soon as possible, and think: SO be it.. NEXT!
I get the drift, I actually think this way a lot, along Jung's ideas of shadow projection, though it hadn't occurred to me in this case. The second part though I'm not so familiar with, I'm a bit innocent when it comes to mindgames but I see what you mean. Don't think that was the case here but good to keep in mind, thanks.
Yeah, I do move on, been down this lane now so many times (the vaccination I was talking about) I'm better at handling it. In 99 when the 1st catastrophe occurred I cried for 6 months and developed chronic insomnia. Though that was a real life incident of course. You just never really know how you'll react. Talking here seems to help though, I feel less like a victim though continuing the search is always very arduous. I'd be more optimistic if I could move to another country first or something, but now it's not possible. Oh well, anyway.
This may seem like endless rants but actually it's not closure yet it seems so that's why I'm still pondering...
rusty_knight: Lago is like Rembrandt and that guy who maybe or maybe didn't cut off his own ear but (instead had it chopped off in a fight over some woman) - his paintings will surely be worth more once he is 'no more'................ only invest in Lago's paintings if you feel confident you'll outlive the man!
Well, one grandmother of mine lived until she was 103. Her brother 'til 108.
So, the odds look good!
venere08: Well, one grandmother of mine lived until she was 103. Her brother 'til 108.
So, the odds look good!
So, the odds look good!
A 'she' is not a 'he' - we men have lower life expectancies..........btw, having spent an hour or so thinking beofre I sent you an email it would be nice to have some sort of response - all I can say is:
'I tried to help'
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9. He lived in England where I would love to relocate but said on several occasions that he would come and meet me here FIRST. That to me seemed committed and dedicated and no "well we can meet if you decide to visit"
10. He did say that I looked nice, was encouraging of my outlook on life, and seemed accepting of my health issues, not making any fuss of anything though I did find him a bit evasive when I talked a bit about it.
Symbol. Ever thought he might be hiding something?
Something he might not want you to find out about, perhaps?
And as the time grew nearer to you two possibly meeting, he kinda thought he had better fess up? Just a thought. I know, I would fail detective school!