I just got dumped! :( I am absolutely devastated! Need advice please.... (137)
I am SO sorry...No one should have to experience that feeling.....It's hard...but you will move on....Take care and best wishes....
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sometimes it IS less painful to sever all ties. maybe that is where he is coming from.
or maybe he's being a bit manipulative...trying to get you to move...or maybe he's trying to give you a reason to break things...that won't hurt you as much. maybe he needs a breather.
maybe it's none of these...or is actually the reason he stated.
whatever the real reason, i'm sorry, it sucks. you are a beautiful and caring woman...and you WILL get through this, no matter how it ends.
or maybe he's being a bit manipulative...trying to get you to move...or maybe he's trying to give you a reason to break things...that won't hurt you as much. maybe he needs a breather.
maybe it's none of these...or is actually the reason he stated.
whatever the real reason, i'm sorry, it sucks. you are a beautiful and caring woman...and you WILL get through this, no matter how it ends.
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Thank you...i never thought it would happen, but i suppose it was inevitable...i just could've never prepared myself for it...i am still in shock!
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNOOOOO!!!! I'm sooo freaking sorry! God that sucks! I don't have great advice but do have lots of rope!
;(
I don't have great advice but do have lots of rope!;(
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Friendship is greater than love. You prove it by posting here.
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Shygirl...your letter could have been me writing it 6 weeks ago...and believe me i was ready to throw the towel in, delete all profiles, never get on messenger again etc etc...I had sunk to an all time low...
What helped me?...the shoulders i had to cry on from the people in this very same forum..and time...lots of it...
I started reading material (like Women Who Love Too Much) and other articles that helped me rebuild what i felt he took with him...Please believe me when i tell you i know what you are going through this very minute...you may think that the women on here do not understand your acute pain...trust me they do...
You are a wonderful, lovely woman...and there is someone out there who will give you what you need...please give yourself time..
If too much effort was being made on your part in this relationship, then not enough was being made on his... 
What helped me?...the shoulders i had to cry on from the people in this very same forum..and time...lots of it...
I started reading material (like Women Who Love Too Much) and other articles that helped me rebuild what i felt he took with him...Please believe me when i tell you i know what you are going through this very minute...you may think that the women on here do not understand your acute pain...trust me they do...
You are a wonderful, lovely woman...and there is someone out there who will give you what you need...please give yourself time..
If too much effort was being made on your part in this relationship, then not enough was being made on his...
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You don't have to apologize, you are doing the right thing, let it all out!
"i have been told, love knows no distance, love can conquer all, but can it? Why is love not enough to sustain a relationship, no matter the hardships?" There is your answer it wasn't love. Sometimes you win sometimes you loose but if you pay really good attention everyone wins just remember the good you lived with him and from the bad take the lesson and carry it with you.
I have being there too and have learned that I cannot give everything to any person that I have to safe some for me in order to keep myself going.
Take care of you; he was not the one. The one who will love you is still out there waiting for you to share the happiness with you..
Yami.
"i have been told, love knows no distance, love can conquer all, but can it? Why is love not enough to sustain a relationship, no matter the hardships?" There is your answer it wasn't love. Sometimes you win sometimes you loose but if you pay really good attention everyone wins just remember the good you lived with him and from the bad take the lesson and carry it with you.
I have being there too and have learned that I cannot give everything to any person that I have to safe some for me in order to keep myself going.
Take care of you; he was not the one. The one who will love you is still out there waiting for you to share the happiness with you..
Yami.
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Oh no, not you. You are so nice! Well, his loss.
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You're right and i thank you! I don't really believe that he would actually want me out of his life completely, he does have a heart...he did say that he thought the only way it would work is if i moved, but he never really talked to me about it, besides before making his decision, how do i know that is the actual reason, or if there's something more...but maybe he needs some time to himself(which he'll get), to think things through, i don't know. I'm not gonna hold me breath. If he comes to the realization that he made a mistake(a big mistake!)...well, by that time, i may have moved on and then it would be his loss. I know i will get through this, but it's hard, my heart is breaking.
Thanks again, i appreciate the imput.
Thanks again, i appreciate the imput.
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Awwwwwwwe I am soooo sorry to hear that! I have read your comments about him and I know you really love him!
Embrace your feelings, cry, sulk, be angry, and you will be able to get over him!
You won't be able to move on until you feel every feeling, cry every cry and decide he is just not worth it anymore! That takes time and lots of patience wtih yourself to heal your broken heart and only then wil you be able to close this chapter on your life!
Wishing you the best!
Embrace your feelings, cry, sulk, be angry, and you will be able to get over him!
You won't be able to move on until you feel every feeling, cry every cry and decide he is just not worth it anymore! That takes time and lots of patience wtih yourself to heal your broken heart and only then wil you be able to close this chapter on your life!
Wishing you the best!
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Did I mention I have rope, good for many different uses...as long as it's all on him! I'm just trying to make you smile, even if it is wicked! I know how much it hurts, believe me! But yeah, we are all here for you!
;)
;)
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Thanks! It does indeed suck! Rope? Nah, i won't be needing that!
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Shygirl you have my sympathy ... its not an easy place to be where you are at this moment in time. Time will heal the hurt and lessen the pain and thank goodness for that.
I think that the best thing that you can do is move forward when you are feeling better. Its perfectly normal to grieve the loss and just be still at this time.
When you are feeling better try and think about those "subtle signs that you picked up on, but that you didn't want to believe .... you say that you knew something was coming"..... maybe he was trying to tell you this for a while but you weren't listening. Unfortunately he should have been more communicative with you ... but perhaps you need to consider for next time that when you are picking up signals instead of denying them ... talk about them.
I think that the best thing that you can do is move forward when you are feeling better. Its perfectly normal to grieve the loss and just be still at this time.
When you are feeling better try and think about those "subtle signs that you picked up on, but that you didn't want to believe .... you say that you knew something was coming"..... maybe he was trying to tell you this for a while but you weren't listening. Unfortunately he should have been more communicative with you ... but perhaps you need to consider for next time that when you are picking up signals instead of denying them ... talk about them.
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Agreed...and their's nothing like the love from those who turly love you, family and friends. I just wanted his love.
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I am so sorry to hear about that.
Disappointment is not easy, never has been and never will be.
Remember, disappointment is caused by unmet expectations. Disappointment is cured by revamped expectations.
The next time you get disappointed, don't panic. Don't give up, just be patient.
It is not over, until its over.
Disappointment is not easy, never has been and never will be.
Remember, disappointment is caused by unmet expectations. Disappointment is cured by revamped expectations.
The next time you get disappointed, don't panic. Don't give up, just be patient.
It is not over, until its over.
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Thanks for bringing back the glasses!
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thank God you arrived Cat....
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Shygirl..i am so sorry to hear that...
i dont' know waht to say other than, i am sorry, i know it hurts....
Now is the time you need your friends to lean on, they will have the crazy glue to help glue your heart back together..
i dont understand men and the distance thing..it really urks me...
i have had it happen to me too... in my opinion if you love someone and you really want to make it work you could live on the moon and still be together.....
honey, tomorrow will be better nad each day after that will be a little easier, trust me...
in the mean time lots of hugs from me...
i dont' know waht to say other than, i am sorry, i know it hurts....
Now is the time you need your friends to lean on, they will have the crazy glue to help glue your heart back together..
i dont understand men and the distance thing..it really urks me...
i have had it happen to me too... in my opinion if you love someone and you really want to make it work you could live on the moon and still be together.....
honey, tomorrow will be better nad each day after that will be a little easier, trust me...
in the mean time lots of hugs from me...
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Girl, life is too short to wonder why he broke up with you. Don't waste your time wondering what you could have done differently. Take some time off, get the crying out of your system, and let another guy come along. You're a beautiful woman, you deserve somebody that will love you and WANTS to be with you. It will happen, I promise. Even if I have to fly to wherever you're from and show you.
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Created: Jul 2006
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As some of you know, i have been with a man who i thought was 'the one'...we've been together 9 months ago today! Well, today he decided it 'wasn't working out'.
His reasoning was, well, for starters, we have had somewhat of a long distance relationship(about a 1 and a half hour drive away)and can only manage to see eachother on weekends, which had been fine, or so i thought...i have been told, love knows no distance, love can conquer all, but can it? Why is love not enough to sustain a relationship, no matter the hardships? He said at this point in the relationship, he needs more...but i gave him everything, my heart, my soul, my support, my trust...my love, unconditionally, and yet, that is still not enough?...i think the distance issue was an excuse for something else, i think their's more to it than that...perhaps he's commitment phobic? Either way, i think he's scared of something.
I never pressured him into making a commitment to me, to promising me anything, i supported him through everything. He says he does love me, respect me and care for me a lot, but his actions say otherwise...when the going gets tough, you should try and work things out, not run from your problems...i think it's a trend for him...but i wanted to help him conquer that, i would've done anything for him and he said he'd do anything for me...i guess anything but trying to compromise, trying to make it work...
However, he said he couldn't do it anymore because he couldn't stand not holding me during the week, not seeing me - though there were times we did see eachother during the week...but how does NEVER being able to hold me or even see me again rectify the situation? How is that a solution? He just threw this on my lap this afternoon, no warning, though there were subtle signs that i picked up on, but i didn't want to believe it...regardless, i knew something was coming, i just didn't think it was something so devastating to me.
He never discussed this with me prior to today, never tried to find a solution with me, as a couple...i think that shows no respect for my feelings and was very selfish of him, i deserved more than that!
He was aware of the distance factor right from the beginning, and yet still entered into a relationship with me. How could this happen, i am so devastated!
I love him more than any other guy i have been with, he was my first love, the one i 'offered' myself to...how could he just want me out of his life after everything?!? I never got the explaination i needed, as he left so abruptly, but i need some kind of closure, i deserve at least a more specific explaination. I am so lost, so confused, so sad, so angry and upset...what do i do? How do i move forward, how do i leave him behind...i feel like i'm starting from scratch again!
Sorry for the length of me letter...but, i just needed to vent, i don't know what to do!
If anyone has any thoughts on this, please let me know, i need advice...thanks for taking the time to read this.