Should I even be here? (42)
mjamesnapa, California USA2 Threads 1 Polls 779 Postslove is action and her actions show she doesn't love you; do you still want to be in that? you should feel happy and glad that you are free and now have a new lease on life; good luck
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calmheartseeks: langley, has anyone told you you look like Sarah Palin?
A "HOTTIE" ain't she??
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Lostrebel: Can anyone translate this post for me?
TEXTING!
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bohdiprana: the tree and walking into it has purpose, do not deny the tree.
Yep,you didn't watch your Stitches!
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Daish: Where to start so this doesn't turn into a novel? I was what I thought was happily married for ten years, when my wife had an affair. She told me why she felt she had cheated and we worked together on fixing the problem. Eight years later I got hurt at work and eventually became disabled. During that process she asked for a divorce swearing it had nothing to do with my becoming disabled. My divorce was final on Oct. 29 of this year. On Nov. 24th I found out that about a year after I got hurt and a month before she asked for the divorce, she had started cheating on me again. I feel so pathetic now that I really don't know if I should even be thinking about trying to date. Maby I should go find a nice monastery, or a cave in the hills? Thoughts anyone?
I'd belay that Monastery or Cave,and give Life another shot.
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Conrad73: Yep,you didn't watch your Stitches!
I love my bruises.
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bohdiprana: I love my bruises.
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Thanks for all the reply's to my post. Many are helpful and I will take them into consideration. In the mean time I will see you all around the forums:)
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Daish: Where to start so this doesn't turn into a novel? I was what I thought was happily married for ten years, when my wife had an affair. She told me why she felt she had cheated and we worked together on fixing the problem. Eight years later I got hurt at work and eventually became disabled. During that process she asked for a divorce swearing it had nothing to do with my becoming disabled. My divorce was final on Oct. 29 of this year. On Nov. 24th I found out that about a year after I got hurt and a month before she asked for the divorce, she had started cheating on me again. I feel so pathetic now that I really don't know if I should even be thinking about trying to date. Maby I should go find a nice monastery, or a cave in the hills? Thoughts anyone?
People say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Before you find another woman make sure you have forgiven your ex-wife
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Hmmm. If I have to wait to date till I have forgiven my ex then I may not be dating for a while. I'm still having a hard time believing she did this to me after so many years together. Forgiveness may take a while to happen.
RLML48: People say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Before you find another woman make sure you have forgiven your ex-wife
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In response to: Where to start so this doesn't turn into a novel? I was what I thought was happily married for ten years, when my wife had an affair. She told me why she felt she had cheated and we worked together on fixing the problem. Eight years later I got hurt at work and eventually became disabled. During that process she asked for a divorce swearing it had nothing to do with my becoming disabled. My divorce was final on Oct. 29 of this year. On Nov. 24th I found out that about a year after I got hurt and a month before she asked for the divorce, she had started cheating on me again. I feel so pathetic now that I really don't know if I should even be thinking about trying to date. Maby I should go find a nice monastery, or a cave in the hills? Thoughts anyone?
MONASTERY
whyever would you want to do that?? are you a religious man?? I myself have had 2 marriages in my life, both women left me for other men, guess I just wasn't abusive enough to suit them. Grant you you are probably feeling a bit low right now but stay here on this site, get involved with some of the forums, chat with the people on here, good folks from all over the world, and I do mean all over the world. And stop worrying about what once was, it is over, for your own sanity man let it go. Look to your future and all the possibilities for you, the past will only drag you down. This is your chance to do something for YOU...do it!!
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Daish: Where to start so this doesn't turn into a novel? I was what I thought was happily married for ten years, when my wife had an affair. She told me why she felt she had cheated and we worked together on fixing the problem. Eight years later I got hurt at work and eventually became disabled. During that process she asked for a divorce swearing it had nothing to do with my becoming disabled. My divorce was final on Oct. 29 of this year. On Nov. 24th I found out that about a year after I got hurt and a month before she asked for the divorce, she had started cheating on me again. I feel so pathetic now that I really don't know if I should even be thinking about trying to date. Maby I should go find a nice monastery, or a cave in the hills? Thoughts anyone?
Your thoughts are quite normal in this situation. Trust me, I too considered joining a Convent. I actually went so far as to discuss it with a Mother Superior of a Convent while going through my divorce.
Thankfully, she wisely told me to wait and see how I felt a year to three years after my divorce b/c these thoughts are not to be trusted while in pain.
In addition, I had converted to Catholoicism b4 Marriage. I was hurting and torn as to if I should remain Catholic or turn to my Judaic roots that I knew nothing of having been raised in a non-practicing family. She told me I needed to explore this fully b4 making a very major life changing decision as joining a Convent.
During this three year period, I also had gotten involved with a very nice guy whom wanted marriage while I was not ready. Fortunately I recognised I was on the rebound and called off the Wedding, long before it got to the planning stage. His Parents and my Mother understood. He was devastated. I still hurt that I hurt him to this day.
I thank G-d for this Mother Superior and a very wise very young Priest whom counceled me during some of the darkest days of my life and later during the absolute Darkest when my Husband asked me if we could reconcile then he was killed in a car accident b4 we could.
They listened to me and wisely let me rant and rave. The gave me good advice always leaving the choice be MINE.
Today, I am a Messianc Jew and very happy. I do join my Late Husband's Family for Mass from time to time and they have never condemned my for reverting to my Judaic Roots. They still Love and Respect me. I am very Blessed.
They only wish I could find a very nice guy and remarry. They did accept my ex-Fiance of 12.5 yrs when my own family did not b/c of his race. They were disappointed when we broke up a few years back but never condemned me for breaking it off b/c of Paul's problems.
Give yourself time. I have told others this when they posted in this category as you here.
The advice I give is as they say in Al-Anon for Families don't make any major decisions for at least 6 months to a year.
Hang in there it DOES get better.
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It's too soon. Take some time, as long as you need. Time will do its work. Trust me. Been there, done that, except for the disability.
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Daish: Where to start so this doesn't turn into a novel? I was what I thought was happily married for ten years, when my wife had an affair. She told me why she felt she had cheated and we worked together on fixing the problem. Eight years later I got hurt at work and eventually became disabled. During that process she asked for a divorce swearing it had nothing to do with my becoming disabled. My divorce was final on Oct. 29 of this year. On Nov. 24th I found out that about a year after I got hurt and a month before she asked for the divorce, she had started cheating on me again. I feel so pathetic now that I really don't know if I should even be thinking about trying to date. Maby I should go find a nice monastery, or a cave in the hills? Thoughts anyone?
Sorry to hear about your hurt
I could never imagine cheating on my Husband, or even wanting to "skip out" if he became disabled
I mean when you say for "better or worse", doesn't that mean through the "good and the bad". Seems every relationship, ie...marriage has those kind of times; it's when the feelings for each other change..you can't make someone love you when they don't really deep down in their hearts..that's something you can't fix. But heck, sickness, low finances, etc...etc...geesh, those problems are a peach to fix if you still both Love One Another for Life.
Peaches
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Daish: Hmmm. If I have to wait to date till I have forgiven my ex then I may not be dating for a while. I'm still having a hard time believing she did this to me after so many years together. Forgiveness may take a while to happen.
Believe me, I've been there and it is too soon to start a new relationship without healing your heart. There is still much anger and pain inside and to be able to trust again is going to take some time. The next woman you meet will pay the consequences.
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RLML48: Believe me, I've been there and it is too soon to start a new relationship without healing your heart. There is still much anger and pain inside and to be able to trust again is going to take some time. The next woman you meet will pay the consequences.
Wise Words
Peaches
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RLML48: Believe me, I've been there and it is too soon to start a new relationship without healing your heart. There is still much anger and pain inside and to be able to trust again is going to take some time. The next woman you meet will pay the consequences.
Exactly. Not to mention that you'll be looking at her with suspicion, afraid to be "burned" again and what not. Have to completely get over the previous one before you date again. I'd use this precious time productively - there's a LOT to do for each one of us in our work on ourselves to become a better/happier person. :)
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Weimarlady: Exactly. Not to mention that you'll be looking at her with suspicion, afraid to be "burned" again and what not. Have to completely get over the previous one before you date again. I'd use this precious time productively - there's a LOT to do for each one of us in our work on ourselves to become a better/happier person. :)
Some of us just need a little polishing.
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Daish: Hmmm. If I have to wait to date till I have forgiven my ex then I may not be dating for a while. I'm still having a hard time believing she did this to me after so many years together. Forgiveness may take a while to happen.
Forgiveness might take years.
You don't want to wait that long to date.
As soon as disgust has totally replaced pain, you're ready to go.
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