Married men pretend to be single... (193)
LouiseDreaming: Seriously? Seperated for thirty years?
Oh yes...seriously separated.
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bodleing: Oh yes...seriously separated.
Hey maybe I didnt give it long enough,,,,,was 11 years to soon to get divorced?
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Kalimera: Hey maybe I didnt give it long enough,,,,,was 11 years to soon to get divorced?
Maybe, it doesnt do to rush into these things.
It's all meaningless to me anyway.
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I am not directing this post to any one person, just my thoughts on the subject:
1. I was "separated-still living with spouse" for 2 years (he wouldn't agree to the divorce yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
2. Then, I was "separated-living apart" for 1 year (he agreed to the divorce, but wouldn't sign the papers yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
3. I was divorced 18 months ago, and only date single men now. It's not about financial security or narrow-mindedness; rather I feel I deserve a man who is free of other encumbrances to us being together. It took me 3 years to get free, and I waited it out before attempting a real relationship with a man.
4. I wasn't aware that divorce is illegal in some countries; here in NY, a lot of men claim that they can't get a divorce for several years because of various reasons but usually it's about money. The way I figure it is that a person needs to decide what their priorities are: if saving a few dollars is more important than being free, then that's their decision. It cost me a lot of money to get divorced because my ex didn't want to, but some extra money and concessions on my part made it happen because I was motivated.
5. I still get contacted by married men occasionally but have become adept at figuring it out.
1. I was "separated-still living with spouse" for 2 years (he wouldn't agree to the divorce yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
2. Then, I was "separated-living apart" for 1 year (he agreed to the divorce, but wouldn't sign the papers yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
3. I was divorced 18 months ago, and only date single men now. It's not about financial security or narrow-mindedness; rather I feel I deserve a man who is free of other encumbrances to us being together. It took me 3 years to get free, and I waited it out before attempting a real relationship with a man.
4. I wasn't aware that divorce is illegal in some countries; here in NY, a lot of men claim that they can't get a divorce for several years because of various reasons but usually it's about money. The way I figure it is that a person needs to decide what their priorities are: if saving a few dollars is more important than being free, then that's their decision. It cost me a lot of money to get divorced because my ex didn't want to, but some extra money and concessions on my part made it happen because I was motivated.
5. I still get contacted by married men occasionally but have become adept at figuring it out.
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longhairedwoman: I am not directing this post to any one person, just my thoughts on the subject:
1. I was "separated-still living with spouse" for 2 years (he wouldn't agree to the divorce yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
2. Then, I was "separated-living apart" for 1 year (he agreed to the divorce, but wouldn't sign the papers yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
3. I was divorced 18 months ago, and only date single men now. It's not about financial security or narrow-mindedness; rather I feel I deserve a man who is free of other encumbrances to us being together. It took me 3 years to get free, and I waited it out before attempting a real relationship with a man.
4. I wasn't aware that divorce is illegal in some countries; here in NY, a lot of men claim that they can't get a divorce for several years because of various reasons but usually it's about money. The way I figure it is that a person needs to decide what their priorities are: if saving a few dollars is more important than being free, then that's their decision. It cost me a lot of money to get divorced because my ex didn't want to, but some extra money and concessions on my part made it happen because I was motivated.
5. I still get contacted by married men occasionally but have become adept at figuring it out.
1. I was "separated-still living with spouse" for 2 years (he wouldn't agree to the divorce yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
2. Then, I was "separated-living apart" for 1 year (he agreed to the divorce, but wouldn't sign the papers yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
3. I was divorced 18 months ago, and only date single men now. It's not about financial security or narrow-mindedness; rather I feel I deserve a man who is free of other encumbrances to us being together. It took me 3 years to get free, and I waited it out before attempting a real relationship with a man.
4. I wasn't aware that divorce is illegal in some countries; here in NY, a lot of men claim that they can't get a divorce for several years because of various reasons but usually it's about money. The way I figure it is that a person needs to decide what their priorities are: if saving a few dollars is more important than being free, then that's their decision. It cost me a lot of money to get divorced because my ex didn't want to, but some extra money and concessions on my part made it happen because I was motivated.
5. I still get contacted by married men occasionally but have become adept at figuring it out.
So while you were waiting to be 'free' as you put it you only dated married men. Did it not cross your mind that these men had a wife and maybe children and you could be contibuting to the break up of another marriage?
And people wonder why there is so much divorce in the world today.
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longhairedwoman: I am not directing this post to any one person, just my thoughts on the subject:
1. I was "separated-still living with spouse" for 2 years (he wouldn't agree to the divorce yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
2. Then, I was "separated-living apart" for 1 year (he agreed to the divorce, but wouldn't sign the papers yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
3. I was divorced 18 months ago, and only date single men now. It's not about financial security or narrow-mindedness; rather I feel I deserve a man who is free of other encumbrances to us being together. It took me 3 years to get free, and I waited it out before attempting a real relationship with a man.
4. I wasn't aware that divorce is illegal in some countries; here in NY, a lot of men claim that they can't get a divorce for several years because of various reasons but usually it's about money. The way I figure it is that a person needs to decide what their priorities are: if saving a few dollars is more important than being free, then that's their decision. It cost me a lot of money to get divorced because my ex didn't want to, but some extra money and concessions on my part made it happen because I was motivated.
5. I still get contacted by married men occasionally but have become adept at figuring it out.
1. I was "separated-still living with spouse" for 2 years (he wouldn't agree to the divorce yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
2. Then, I was "separated-living apart" for 1 year (he agreed to the divorce, but wouldn't sign the papers yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
3. I was divorced 18 months ago, and only date single men now. It's not about financial security or narrow-mindedness; rather I feel I deserve a man who is free of other encumbrances to us being together. It took me 3 years to get free, and I waited it out before attempting a real relationship with a man.
4. I wasn't aware that divorce is illegal in some countries; here in NY, a lot of men claim that they can't get a divorce for several years because of various reasons but usually it's about money. The way I figure it is that a person needs to decide what their priorities are: if saving a few dollars is more important than being free, then that's their decision. It cost me a lot of money to get divorced because my ex didn't want to, but some extra money and concessions on my part made it happen because I was motivated.
5. I still get contacted by married men occasionally but have become adept at figuring it out.
The thing that sticks out most for me in your post is the fact that you dated married guys and say it as if it was the right thing to do?
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longhairedwoman: I am not directing this post to any one person, just my thoughts on the subject:
1. I was "separated-still living with spouse" for 2 years (he wouldn't agree to the divorce yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
2. Then, I was "separated-living apart" for 1 year (he agreed to the divorce, but wouldn't sign the papers yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
3. I was divorced 18 months ago, and only date single men now. It's not about financial security or narrow-mindedness; rather I feel I deserve a man who is free of other encumbrances to us being together. It took me 3 years to get free, and I waited it out before attempting a real relationship with a man.
4. I wasn't aware that divorce is illegal in some countries; here in NY, a lot of men claim that they can't get a divorce for several years because of various reasons but usually it's about money. The way I figure it is that a person needs to decide what their priorities are: if saving a few dollars is more important than being free, then that's their decision. It cost me a lot of money to get divorced because my ex didn't want to, but some extra money and concessions on my part made it happen because I was motivated.
5. I still get contacted by married men occasionally but have become adept at figuring it out.
1. I was "separated-still living with spouse" for 2 years (he wouldn't agree to the divorce yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
2. Then, I was "separated-living apart" for 1 year (he agreed to the divorce, but wouldn't sign the papers yet) and only dated married men during this time because I didn't feel I had anything to offer an unattached man.
3. I was divorced 18 months ago, and only date single men now. It's not about financial security or narrow-mindedness; rather I feel I deserve a man who is free of other encumbrances to us being together. It took me 3 years to get free, and I waited it out before attempting a real relationship with a man.
4. I wasn't aware that divorce is illegal in some countries; here in NY, a lot of men claim that they can't get a divorce for several years because of various reasons but usually it's about money. The way I figure it is that a person needs to decide what their priorities are: if saving a few dollars is more important than being free, then that's their decision. It cost me a lot of money to get divorced because my ex didn't want to, but some extra money and concessions on my part made it happen because I was motivated.
5. I still get contacted by married men occasionally but have become adept at figuring it out.
Free from what???
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i just like to say i will not be surprised if more than half of men in the website tell a lie, or most of them will be liers, and will not like to hear the answer why from them, that will be okay.
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I know men who stay married, call it seperated, and live like they are single/divorced, just because they are afraid of commitment, or just want to keep potential marriage partners at bay. They have no intention of ever getting divorced. Women then can only go so far, when, suprise, there is this obstacle in the way of marriage and commitment. This hurdle that halts the whole progression of plans for a future. Their "out".
Not saying this happens in all cases. There are those who genuinely haven't had time to get a divorce or it is in progress but sometimes that gets prolonged working out details etc.
But often married men stay married because they never have to take a chance again and let themselves be vulnerable in either the love or money departments.
To be tied in any way, legal or otherwise to anyone I have left would be anathema to me. I find a clean severance of all ties is best, for me at least. There is no string metaphorically, or otherwise, tying me to a past I wish to forget and move on from.
Not saying this happens in all cases. There are those who genuinely haven't had time to get a divorce or it is in progress but sometimes that gets prolonged working out details etc.
But often married men stay married because they never have to take a chance again and let themselves be vulnerable in either the love or money departments.
To be tied in any way, legal or otherwise to anyone I have left would be anathema to me. I find a clean severance of all ties is best, for me at least. There is no string metaphorically, or otherwise, tying me to a past I wish to forget and move on from.
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RE everyone
All no good unless you name and shame. Otherwise it's just venting.
Nothing wrong with venting but I wouldn't mind a heads up!
All no good unless you name and shame. Otherwise it's just venting.
Nothing wrong with venting but I wouldn't mind a heads up!
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DMouse: RE everyoneAll no good unless you name and shame. Otherwise it's just venting.
Nothing wrong with venting but I wouldn't mind a heads up!
Nothing wrong with venting but I wouldn't mind a heads up!
No one is allowed to name and shame on here. People try it from time to time and get banned.
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gingerb: I know men who stay married, call it seperated, and live like they are single/divorced, just because they are afraid of commitment, or just want to keep potential marriage partners at bay. They have no intention of ever getting divorced. Women then can only go so far, when, suprise, there is this obstacle in the way of marriage and commitment. This hurdle that halts the whole progression of plans for a future. Their "out".
Not saying this happens in all cases. There are those who genuinely haven't had time to get a divorce or it is in progress but sometimes that gets prolonged working out details etc.
But often married men stay married because they never have to take a chance again and let themselves be vulnerable in either the love or money departments.
To be tied in any way, legal or otherwise to anyone I have left would be anathema to me. I find a clean severance of all ties is best, for me at least. There is no string metaphorically, or otherwise, tying me to a past I wish to forget and move on from.
Not saying this happens in all cases. There are those who genuinely haven't had time to get a divorce or it is in progress but sometimes that gets prolonged working out details etc.
But often married men stay married because they never have to take a chance again and let themselves be vulnerable in either the love or money departments.
To be tied in any way, legal or otherwise to anyone I have left would be anathema to me. I find a clean severance of all ties is best, for me at least. There is no string metaphorically, or otherwise, tying me to a past I wish to forget and move on from.
Or those like me who just cant be bothered.
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bodleing: Or those like me who just cant be bothered.
I forgot that reason didn't I?
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gingerb: I forgot that reason didn't I?
I'm just a lost cause.
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Thanks for that Gingerb...but just so you know....I will at least message YOU if I come across one.
Ok girls..that YOU is all of you!
Ok girls..that YOU is all of you!
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bodleing: I'm just a lost cause.
Obviously other things are more important right now...
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DMouse: Thanks for that Gingerb...but just so you know....I will at least message YOU if I come across one.
Ok girls..that YOU is all of you!
Ok girls..that YOU is all of you!
Kept to e-mails I think is ok.
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lakelander: So while you were waiting to be 'free' as you put it you only dated married men. Did it not cross your mind that these men had a wife and maybe children and you could be contibuting to the break up of another marriage?
And people wonder why there is so much divorce in the world today.
And people wonder why there is so much divorce in the world today.
I dated married men who were in the same situation as me - separated, but still legally married to women who wouldn't give them a divorce.
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Kalimera: The thing that sticks out most for me in your post is the fact that you dated married guys and say it as if it was the right thing to do?
It was the right thing for me to do- at the time. I wasn't looking for anything long-term, and I didn't have anything to offer a single man as I was still legally tied up.
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Seriously? Seperated for thirty years?