Have I set the bar too high? (344)
sweetowen: You remember the last guy I dated, T. On first sight with him, I wasn't knocked off my feet. But as we got to know each other better & kept the conversation going, I ended up falling for him. I keep wondering if this could happen with this one. But I'm not sure the spark is as bright with this one, physically.
I found myself looking around the room, thinking,"If I was to start a relationship with this man, would I stop looking elsewhere? Would I not be attracted to others?" I honestly couldn't answer that question.
I had told him to let me know he got home safely last night. When I got home, I fell right to sleep & missed about 5 texts & a phone call from him. In his last text, he didn't sound very happy. I texted him this morning & apologized, explaining that I'd fallen asleep. I've gotten no reply.
Don't stop trying, he obviously likes you. You are uncertain, oterwise you wwould not have called him. Stay in touch, Friends or otherwise 1 date is not enough, give yourselves a chance. I found myself looking around the room, thinking,"If I was to start a relationship with this man, would I stop looking elsewhere? Would I not be attracted to others?" I honestly couldn't answer that question.
I had told him to let me know he got home safely last night. When I got home, I fell right to sleep & missed about 5 texts & a phone call from him. In his last text, he didn't sound very happy. I texted him this morning & apologized, explaining that I'd fallen asleep. I've gotten no reply.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Nah, shallow would be to keep dating him because it's useful to have somebody to go out with who's really into you, only to dump him when you got too bored with it. That would be shallow.
Just let it go. He knows you're not interested. You don't even need to tell him.
Just let it go. He knows you're not interested. You don't even need to tell him.
sweetowen: Very, very good & insightful advice, O! Thank you! I keep telling myself the same thing. Maybe his non-response is for the best, for the both of us. I just feel really bad about it all. I do hope he understands & forgives me. And I'd truly hope we could remain friends. I HATE ending things on a sour note... always have. It's just not my nature to be mean. But I'd really been anticipating meeting him! I was so excited, as was he. As I said, we'd talked at length about a lot of things. He saw past my mistakes & shortcomings & I did his. We 'clicked'... only to have it not go anywhere. I can't help but feel disappointed in myself. I feel shallow.
------ This thread is Archived ------
sweetowen: Should you go for someone who doesn't really thrill you physically?
Simple answer from me......
NO
------ This thread is Archived ------
felixis99: OK. I haven't read the whole thread cuz I have to go get some stuff done, but B4 I do, yes. I have been in your shoes too. I would say that your expectations were so high with this guy because of your phone convos that the actual meeting was destined to fall flat...cuz the expectations and possibly the nervousness or anticipation. I'd give a few more tries at in person meetings if it's feasible. That way you give yourselves a chance to get over the initial anticipation to see what's really there. If you really connected that well on the phone, it's worth a try ...IMO
This i think this is the best idea if you do not read the outside all the way then you do not know all the ingredients on the inside. People all say that beauty is on the inside well i am not saying this is a match but i think you just do not want to get hurt and sometimes if you do not take a chance then you stay in the same position your in experience makes perfect no pain no gain is my motto... Remember some times what you think is not good for you can be the best if given a chance the heart and the mind do not agree sometimes at first i say give it a chance ...
------ This thread is Archived ------
There is a fine line between lust and love where does lust stop and love begin i ask? I ask does the mind lust are the heart? 
------ This thread is Archived ------
StressFree: Well L, give it some more time to get a better sense since you are kind of unsure right now. You having all those doubts on the date last night is normal. A lot of wonderful relationships start out like that---when the attraction grows as the couple become more familiar with each other. I know we want it all in that instant, but that is not reality and part of the problem is indeed expectations. In any case, the emotional connection is there already and that's not easy to find---so appreciate that. However, if you really feel that this physical attraction is going to be a problem---then follow your heart.
Also, I'd strongly suggest to call the guy---no texts! Hi todger
Sweetowen's problem is that she is not that physically attracted to the guy. How does a woman or a guy approach talking to their dating partner in regards to this? I'd imagine it's no easy task and the person may take it really personal unless he or she was really mature and understanding---and realistic.
Also, I'd strongly suggest to call the guy---no texts! Hi todger
Sweetowen's problem is that she is not that physically attracted to the guy. How does a woman or a guy approach talking to their dating partner in regards to this? I'd imagine it's no easy task and the person may take it really personal unless he or she was really mature and understanding---and realistic.
I just got a text from him, basically saying that he felt I was stand-offish. I think he could read my body language. And then he felt it by my not replying to him later. I honestly did fall asleep. Part of me wants to reply & tell him he's got it all wrong & that I'd like to try again. But the other part is saying maybe it's for the best. Boy, I sure do follow my sign of libra at times! So INDECISIVE!!
------ This thread is Archived ------
sweetowen: I just got a text from him, basically saying that he felt I was stand-offish. I think he could read my body language. And then he felt it by my not replying to him later. I honestly did fall asleep. Part of me wants to reply & tell him he's got it all wrong & that I'd like to try again. But the other part is saying maybe it's for the best. Boy, I sure do follow my sign of libra at times! So INDECISIVE!!
Follow your heart sweety.
------ This thread is Archived ------
sweetowen: I just got a text from him, basically saying that he felt I was stand-offish. I think he could read my body language. And then he felt it by my not replying to him later. I honestly did fall asleep. Part of me wants to reply & tell him he's got it all wrong & that I'd like to try again. But the other part is saying maybe it's for the best. Boy, I sure do follow my sign of libra at times! So INDECISIVE!!
Hi, 'L', go ahead and give it another shot, I met some 'not so good looking' men in my life who (as I got to know them) were more fun and a turn on than those with a big ego.The first date is always so awkward. GL.
------ This thread is Archived ------
NAKEDMUDPEOPLE: You need to look past the cover and into the pages.
His beauty will come out with the knowledge of knowing him.
JMO
His beauty will come out with the knowledge of knowing him.
JMO
Sweetowen's on to something ...when there's no physical spark - there's no physical spark .........plain and simple
No need to pursue something if sprark isn't there to get points as a martyr.
------ This thread is Archived ------
jvaski: Sweetowen's on to something ...when there's no physical spark - there's no physical spark .........plain and simple
No need to pursue something if sprark isn't there to get points as a martyr.
NO???????No need to pursue something if sprark isn't there to get points as a martyr.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Arlene101: NO???????
NO.....mainly because it becomes someone leading on someone else until that person finally meets the real thing - then "Poof" he or she is gone and feelings are very hurt.
------ This thread is Archived ------
StressFree: Hmmm L, is this connection strong enough to override the lack of physical attraction? If not, I wouldn't pursue it. Personally, I need that physical attraction. I've tried going down that road before, and I gave it a lot of time and chances hoping that the physical attraction element would not matter---but it did in the end.
Physical attraction not mattering to Tony?
------ This thread is Archived ------
StressFree: Follow your heart sweety.
------ This thread is Archived ------
sweetowen: I just got a text from him, basically saying that he felt I was stand-offish. I think he could read my body language. And then he felt it by my not replying to him later. I honestly did fall asleep. Part of me wants to reply & tell him he's got it all wrong & that I'd like to try again. But the other part is saying maybe it's for the best. Boy, I sure do follow my sign of libra at times! So INDECISIVE!!
.... something is not right. Do not compromise is my advice.It's not fair on him, and it's not true for you ......
------ This thread is Archived ------
jvaski: Sweetowen's on to something ...when there's no physical spark - there's no physical spark .........plain and simple
No need to pursue something if sprark isn't there to get points as a martyr.
No need to pursue something if sprark isn't there to get points as a martyr.
------ This thread is Archived ------
RDM59: .... something is not right. Do not compromise is my advice.
It's not fair on him, and it's not true for you ......
It's not fair on him, and it's not true for you ......
Damn, wise people tonight
------ This thread is Archived ------
Ok, here's my bottom line. For me personally, I'm either captivated visually, she's a babe, good to look at etc, OR she's got such a bubbly, attractive personality, that I just love being with her. It's either got to be one or the other. In your case, with the latter scenario, you could go on to fall in love with this guy. BUT, if you're the physical type, and looks and body mean a lot to you, it's not going to help you if you can't really connect in the sack. Two years from now, when you find yourself staring longingly at that hunk across the room, you're going to wish you hadn't gone for the "personality" option.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Arlene101: NO???????
And "NO" ......I don't believe that one can make one's self become attracted to another either for the convenience of it or out of necessity .........JMO
Dr John is available for private consultation for a mear $89/hour ...8am to 4pm Mondays through Friday ...
( if you were't f---ked-up in the head before - I can fix that !
)------ This thread is Archived ------
jvaski: NO.....mainly because it becomes someone leading on someone else until that person finally meets the real thing - then "Poof" he or she is gone and feelings are very hurt.
...a second and more relaxed date won't hurt.I wasn't attracted to my date last week and gave it another try and then I KNEW I wasn't attracted to him.
------ This thread is Archived ------
This Thread is Archived
This Thread is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Threads get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.
« Go back to All Threads
« Go back to All Threads
More Threads
Karen McDougal - Playmate Model will testify in Hush Money Trial
Sleepy Don!
the way you look
More Proof The GOP is a Criminal Organization
Feel Good Music
men's perspective towards women
Common Issues with the BMW X1
your personality
Unions support Democrats!
The Best of the GOP
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
I found myself looking around the room, thinking,"If I was to start a relationship with this man, would I stop looking elsewhere? Would I not be attracted to others?" I honestly couldn't answer that question.
I had told him to let me know he got home safely last night. When I got home, I fell right to sleep & missed about 5 texts & a phone call from him. In his last text, he didn't sound very happy. I texted him this morning & apologized, explaining that I'd fallen asleep. I've gotten no reply.
Well L, give it some more time to get a better sense since you are kind of unsure right now. You having all those doubts on the date last night is normal. A lot of wonderful relationships start out like that---when the attraction grows as the couple become more familiar with each other. I know we want it all in that instant, but that is not reality and part of the problem is indeed expectations. In any case, the emotional connection is there already and that's not easy to find---so appreciate that. However, if you really feel that this physical attraction is going to be a problem---then follow your heart.
Also, I'd strongly suggest to call the guy---no texts!
Hi todger
Sweetowen's problem is that she is not that physically attracted to the guy. How does a woman or a guy approach talking to their dating partner in regards to this? I'd imagine it's no easy task and the person may take it really personal unless he or she was really mature and understanding---and realistic.