Attraction (64)
I disagree..I was married to a man with money and it does not turn me on. I work very hard for a living and happy to say..I wouldnt mind paying for the date sometimes!
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Northof7: Not Miss America, Miss Univerise.
It's so true!! Alot of men are unrealistic when it comes to they dating choices. There are alot of guys I wouldn't message because I know they are out of my league..it's just the way it is.------ This thread is Archived ------
BUT I agreee that there has to be some type of physical attraction.. I guess.
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Kind of a "does my butt look good in these jeans, or does it look too big" thread.
Looks are nice, very nice but have you ever been all excited because you just could not get a person you saw out of your head..........and then you talked to them and wished you could run just a bit faster.
on the other hand have you ever kind of written someone off because of first impressions only to realize over time getting to know them that you screwed up and then it was too late.
Better quit before I get where the water is not deep
Looks are nice, very nice but have you ever been all excited because you just could not get a person you saw out of your head..........and then you talked to them and wished you could run just a bit faster.
on the other hand have you ever kind of written someone off because of first impressions only to realize over time getting to know them that you screwed up and then it was too late.
Better quit before I get where the water is not deep
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Lulibella: I disagree..I was married to a man with money and it does not turn me on. I work very hard for a living and happy to say..I wouldnt mind paying for the date sometimes!
I ain't got money... You wanna pay??
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Wanna buy me a ticket to LA?????
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I don't weigh 300lbs, I keep myself fit by working out, I have manners, and I would like to think I'm not terrible looking. But I never seem to cause an attraction.. I am shy, but I wouldn't think that would cause a huge problem. I do believe nice guys finish last.
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Swissblueeyes: Ok..I hear so many times how a guy thinks he gets rejected because he is a "nice" guy..I love nice guys but I want to be attracted to their "looks" too..I think all of us want that..I've gotten messages from men who weighed 300 lbs and have no decent job and very bad grooming skills but they say they are nice..Ok. Well nice is great but I need to feel attracted to their looks too and admire their other good qualities along with ambitions..I also see men posters who are reasonably attractive have a decent job and they complain friends try to hook them up on blind dates with a girl who is "nice" then meet her and shes way overweight and lives with her parents and guess what? That guy doesnt want the girl even though everyone claims shes nice.
So, why is it that a woman is bad if she wants a man she feels attracted to and gets bashed if she rejects a guy shes not attracted to who claims he is nice? I try to be realistic in my expectations, I dont expect Brad Pitt to come over in a limo and if I want a certain type of man I know I have to present myself on his level too..This is one of my reasons why I try to have good grooming skills and have goals..I hope I dont come across as being mean, I'm just so tired of hearing how women are shallow or bad if we want to feel a physical attraction along with him being a good man? As a woman I can honestly say if a man who had drop dead good looks aproached me and was acting like a jerk I would lose any interest in him at all so the idea that all women like bad men is false..Yes looks to a certain degree are only surface level but we all need to feel a certain amount of attraction first before the other things can grow into a relationship..Just venting here and I know I've chosen a kind of touchy subject but I have to work to keep myself in shape and have goals ect, so why should I or any other woman feel bad for wanting that in their man too?
So, why is it that a woman is bad if she wants a man she feels attracted to and gets bashed if she rejects a guy shes not attracted to who claims he is nice? I try to be realistic in my expectations, I dont expect Brad Pitt to come over in a limo and if I want a certain type of man I know I have to present myself on his level too..This is one of my reasons why I try to have good grooming skills and have goals..I hope I dont come across as being mean, I'm just so tired of hearing how women are shallow or bad if we want to feel a physical attraction along with him being a good man? As a woman I can honestly say if a man who had drop dead good looks aproached me and was acting like a jerk I would lose any interest in him at all so the idea that all women like bad men is false..Yes looks to a certain degree are only surface level but we all need to feel a certain amount of attraction first before the other things can grow into a relationship..Just venting here and I know I've chosen a kind of touchy subject but I have to work to keep myself in shape and have goals ect, so why should I or any other woman feel bad for wanting that in their man too?
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I think because we are on a dating site we are forced to look more at the physical side of a person to begin with because we can't initially meet them face to face. We don't get to see how they present themselves, what sense of humour they have, how they react to certain things, which could change a person's mind on how they feel about each other. Sometimes people will go past the looks because the person's personality is more overwhelming and attractive. This can only happen from a face to face meeting of course, so making it harder to initially judge here on CS.
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Swissblueeyes: Ok..I hear so many times how a guy thinks he gets rejected because he is a "nice" guy..I love nice guys but I want to be attracted to their "looks" too..I think all of us want that..
Great topic!
Well, there is an opinion that our "attraction" to some particular body type and style is either
1) conditioned by what we see in glossy magazines or on TV (I used to think that my "type" of man is anyone who looks like Bryan Ferry and wears nice elegant shoes - must mean he's a romantic person like him ), or
2) comes from our past lives (e.g. been with someone who looked like that, had a great time together, now every man like this that we see reminds us of that on a purely subconscious level).
There's also an opinion that if a woman feels attracted to a guy's physique too soon, it's not gonna allow them to build a stable relationship slowly because instead of learning more about what kind of a person he really is, she will assume he does already have the qualities she's looking for, cos he LOOKS like he might be her partner. She's gonna want him in her life, will probably succeed, and then discover he's not AT ALL what she really wanted, cos being soulmates has nothing to do with your looks or body type...
That said....
I've gotten messages from men who weighed 300 lbs and have no decent job and very bad grooming skills but they say they are nice..Ok. Well nice is great but I need to feel attracted to their looks too and admire their other good qualities along with ambitions..
Great topic!
Well, there is an opinion that our "attraction" to some particular body type and style is either 1) conditioned by what we see in glossy magazines or on TV (I used to think that my "type" of man is anyone who looks like Bryan Ferry and wears nice elegant shoes - must mean he's a romantic person like him
), or 2) comes from our past lives (e.g. been with someone who looked like that, had a great time together, now every man like this that we see reminds us of that on a purely subconscious level).
There's also an opinion that if a woman feels attracted to a guy's physique too soon, it's not gonna allow them to build a stable relationship slowly because instead of learning more about what kind of a person he really is, she will assume he does already have the qualities she's looking for, cos he LOOKS like he might be her partner. She's gonna want him in her life, will probably succeed, and then discover he's not AT ALL what she really wanted, cos being soulmates has nothing to do with your looks or body type...
That said....
I've gotten messages from men who weighed 300 lbs and have no decent job and very bad grooming skills but they say they are nice..Ok. Well nice is great but I need to feel attracted to their looks too and admire their other good qualities along with ambitions..
That seems like a picture of a slob to me too, and not just cos he doesn't look like Brad Pitt... Like you said, "I need to (..) admire their other good qualities along with ambitions".
That's what I want too! And being a 'nice' guy doesn't equal a 'spineless' guy with no willpower and goals by any stretch of imagination...
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That came all messed up because of quotes....
Great topic! Well, there is an opinion that our "attraction" to some particular body type and style is either
1) conditioned by what we see in glossy magazines or on TV (I used to think that my "type" of man is anyone who looks like Bryan Ferry and wears nice elegant shoes - must mean he's a romantic person like him ), or
2) comes from our past lives (e.g. been with someone who looked like that, had a great time together, now every man like this that we see reminds us of that on a purely subconscious level).
There's also an opinion that if a woman feels attracted to a guy's physique too soon, it's not gonna allow them to build a stable relationship slowly because instead of learning more about what kind of a person he really is, she will assume he does already have the qualities she's looking for, cos he LOOKS like he might be her partner. She's gonna want him in her life, will probably succeed, and then discover he's not AT ALL what she really wanted, cos being soulmates has nothing to do with your looks or body type...
That said....
That seems like a picture of a slob to me too, and not just cos he doesn't look like Brad Pitt... Like you said, "I need to (..) admire their other good qualities along with ambitions".
That's what I want too! And being a 'nice' guy doesn't equal a 'spineless' guy with no willpower and goals by any stretch of imagination...
Swissblueeyes: Ok..I hear so many times how a guy thinks he gets rejected because he is a "nice" guy..I love nice guys but I want to be attracted to their "looks" too..I think all of us want that..
Great topic!
Well, there is an opinion that our "attraction" to some particular body type and style is either 1) conditioned by what we see in glossy magazines or on TV (I used to think that my "type" of man is anyone who looks like Bryan Ferry and wears nice elegant shoes - must mean he's a romantic person like him
), or 2) comes from our past lives (e.g. been with someone who looked like that, had a great time together, now every man like this that we see reminds us of that on a purely subconscious level).
There's also an opinion that if a woman feels attracted to a guy's physique too soon, it's not gonna allow them to build a stable relationship slowly because instead of learning more about what kind of a person he really is, she will assume he does already have the qualities she's looking for, cos he LOOKS like he might be her partner. She's gonna want him in her life, will probably succeed, and then discover he's not AT ALL what she really wanted, cos being soulmates has nothing to do with your looks or body type...
That said....
Swissblueeyes: I've gotten messages from men who weighed 300 lbs and have no decent job and very bad grooming skills but they say they are nice..Ok. Well nice is great but I need to feel attracted to their looks too and admire their other good qualities along with ambitions..
That seems like a picture of a slob to me too, and not just cos he doesn't look like Brad Pitt... Like you said, "I need to (..) admire their other good qualities along with ambitions".
That's what I want too! And being a 'nice' guy doesn't equal a 'spineless' guy with no willpower and goals by any stretch of imagination...
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Weimarlady: Ain't that the truth! GREAT post, all of it
Really?
I think I'm on the wrong planet.
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BellaTheRebel48: Great minds think alike!!! Cheers!!!
Hi Bella..I agree arrogance is not good in a guy either..In my post I said I wanted a "nice guy" who I'm also "physically" attracted to..I think most of us humans female & male want some sort of physical attraction to start out with..I also have met men who were very good looking but were jerks and that to me is a huge turn off..And I've met men much less attractive who hide behind the words " nice guy", but after time I find out they are NOT so nice..Anyone can claim to be a nice person, but time and getting to know them is the true test..Another point I was getting at is a lot of men wont date a girl they think isnt physically attractive just because she seems nice, so why should us women settle for less? I guess we all have our viewpoints on what we want, but I personally wont settle..Id rather stay single than do that.
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Mmmmmm...Funny!
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Swissblueeyes: Hi Bella..I agree arrogance is not good in a guy either..
Why do so many women get all goo goo over entertainers, they are about as arrogant as one can get?
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Swissblueeyes: Ya for sure I agree..I've met those type of guys too and nothing worse than a man who is arrogant and acts like a jerk..No matter how good looking he is..If I could find a guy I'm attracted to who is a sweet nice man I'd be happy.
Ah well that´s the problem isn´t it. Perfection doesn´t exist so we have to compromise a little.
I think this may the difference between men and women. Women tend to be able to compromise more.... in my opinion anyway.
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taff1: I think because we are on a dating site we are forced to look more at the physical side of a person to begin with because we can't initially meet them face to face. We don't get to see how they present themselves, what sense of humour they have, how they react to certain things, which could change a person's mind on how they feel about each other. Sometimes people will go past the looks because the person's personality is more overwhelming and attractive. This can only happen from a face to face meeting of course, so making it harder to initially judge here on CS.
I have a completely opposite experience. Thanks to Internet (CS forums, CS mail, private e-mail, Skype then Skype cam), we did talk a lot, about all kind of subjects. We could be completely honest to each other since we remained "anonymous". We could appreciate our sense of humour, how we react on different things. Personality was what attracted us. The looks came after and we only could judge if their was a physical attraction after we met face to face. Fortunately we "clicked" on each other. But we already knew that we were a complete match about all the other matters.
The Internet dating did help us a lot to save time in knowing
and appreciate each other.
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JAN_is: Ah well that´s the problem isn´t it. Perfection doesn´t exist so we have to compromise a little.
I think this may the difference between men and women. Women tend to be able to compromise more.... in my opinion anyway.
I guess I will be single for awhile then. lol..I've tried compromising but settling wasnt making me happy..Not looking for perfect, just the guy whos perfect for me..I think this may the difference between men and women. Women tend to be able to compromise more.... in my opinion anyway.
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lol, no way am I close to 275, at one time I was over 200, but never that big lol