Is it acceptable to explore more than one relationship online? (92)
jac379: I think you've had some very sound advice above and you are taking this online dating thing way too seriously.
You goal, I assume is to find you match?
So you're looking for someone with a compatible value system and expectations?
You're chance of finding someone who thinks they are in a monogamous exclusive relationship after 24 hours of online chatting, are one in several million.
You're chances of finding someone who will be able to live with that level of jealousy, are one in several million.
Now combine the odds above.
You need to address your own issues regarding jealousy and possessiveness before you have a hope in hell of finding a happy, healthy relationship.
Jac xxx
You goal, I assume is to find you match?
So you're looking for someone with a compatible value system and expectations?
You're chance of finding someone who thinks they are in a monogamous exclusive relationship after 24 hours of online chatting, are one in several million.
You're chances of finding someone who will be able to live with that level of jealousy, are one in several million.
Now combine the odds above.
You need to address your own issues regarding jealousy and possessiveness before you have a hope in hell of finding a happy, healthy relationship.
Jac xxx
I agree especially about the jealously and posessiveness part. posessiveness in it's extreme is a real relationship killer.
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morgan5: you don't fancy Rabbit stew??
No, it takes too long to pick the hare's(hair) out of my teeth 
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jac379: I think you've had some very sound advice above and you are taking this online dating thing way too seriously.
You goal, I assume is to find you match?
So you're looking for someone with a compatible value system and expectations?
You're chance of finding someone who thinks they are in a monogamous exclusive relationship after 24 hours of online chatting, are one in several million.
You're chances of finding someone who will be able to live with that level of jealousy, are one in several million.
Now combine the odds above.
You need to address your own issues regarding jealousy and possessiveness before you have a hope in hell of finding a happy, healthy relationship.
Jac xxx
You goal, I assume is to find you match?
So you're looking for someone with a compatible value system and expectations?
You're chance of finding someone who thinks they are in a monogamous exclusive relationship after 24 hours of online chatting, are one in several million.
You're chances of finding someone who will be able to live with that level of jealousy, are one in several million.
Now combine the odds above.
You need to address your own issues regarding jealousy and possessiveness before you have a hope in hell of finding a happy, healthy relationship.
Jac xxx
Thank you, you are right, its more lack of trust than jealousy and it sterms from my previous relationship. It seems like my wounds have not quite healed.
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Gateside: Call me stupid,gullable or whatever...that is why I thought I'd put it out there for the experts advice cause its something I have been battling with. Where I come from...in real life anyway,its not acceptable to date more than one person, its considered imoral, even if its not physical dating cause emotions get involved and people's hopes are built up and feelings get hurt when the other party decides they like you less.
People are not like shoes u get to try on number of pairs at one time and then chose one.
The fact that a person makes contact in the first place means to me, they already genuinely like what they see but still need to see more interms of your personality, traits and character, if that works both ways, then you can move on. I find one's judgement in multiple dating gets blurred as one tends to not be fully present with either date.You feel like you are a center of attention with all these options.So and most of the time one ends up with nothing. That is just my opinion based on my brief experience on here and in real life.
People are not like shoes u get to try on number of pairs at one time and then chose one.
The fact that a person makes contact in the first place means to me, they already genuinely like what they see but still need to see more interms of your personality, traits and character, if that works both ways, then you can move on. I find one's judgement in multiple dating gets blurred as one tends to not be fully present with either date.You feel like you are a center of attention with all these options.So and most of the time one ends up with nothing. That is just my opinion based on my brief experience on here and in real life.
Nobody is calling you stupid or gullable, but I seriously think your expectations are way too high.
It takes a long time to get to know someone, and to latch on so closely to the first person that shows any interest in you, is just not very healthy in my opinion. If you do that, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
I mean in real life a first date doesn't mean, that the person you're on this date with, seriously considers marrying you immediately. It just means that they're interested and would like to get to know you better.
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The fact that a person makes contact in the first place means to me, they already genuinely like what they see but still need to see more interms of your personality, traits and character, if that works both ways, then you can move on. I find one's judgement in multiple dating gets blurred as one tends to not be fully present with either date.You feel like you are a center of attention with all these options.So and most of the time one ends up with nothing. That is just my opinion based on my brief experience on here and in real life.
You are well correct in this.. people who are looking for contact probably like what they do see ... but thats just it... It takes a long while to see what you like and dont like.. and if you chat for a while you might see that the person is not to your core values... or is... but it takes time..
Therefore, how about you view all your contacts as a potential friend... and see how it goes from there..
If your really want something badly, either it will happen or you can make it happen, but will it be right... ???
and also, in real life... date, date, date... lots and lots... and view them all as potential friends... and with lots of thought and wisdom.
You are well correct in this.. people who are looking for contact probably like what they do see ... but thats just it... It takes a long while to see what you like and dont like.. and if you chat for a while you might see that the person is not to your core values... or is... but it takes time..
Therefore, how about you view all your contacts as a potential friend... and see how it goes from there..
If your really want something badly, either it will happen or you can make it happen, but will it be right... ???
and also, in real life... date, date, date... lots and lots... and view them all as potential friends... and with lots of thought and wisdom.
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Gateside: Thank you, you are right, its more lack of trust than jealousy and it sterms from my previous relationship. It seems like my wounds have not quite healed.
Well, maybe take a step back, enjoy the forums, blogs and all this site has to offer.
Quite a lot of people in their profiles say that they're looking to make friends and if something romantic grows out of that, that's cool. Maybe you can look out for people with that attitude and take the pressure off yourself.
There's no need to give yourself a hard time.
This site is here to be enjoyed!
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jac379: Well, maybe take a step back, enjoy the forums, blogs and all this site has to offer.
Quite a lot of people in their profiles say that they're looking to make friends and if something romantic grows out of that, that's cool. Maybe you can look out for people with that attitude and take the pressure off yourself.
There's no need to give yourself a hard time.
This site is here to be enjoyed!
Quite a lot of people in their profiles say that they're looking to make friends and if something romantic grows out of that, that's cool. Maybe you can look out for people with that attitude and take the pressure off yourself.
There's no need to give yourself a hard time.
This site is here to be enjoyed!
Exactly!
Morning Jac!
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Gateside: Thank you, you are right, its more lack of trust than jealousy and it sterms from my previous relationship. It seems like my wounds have not quite healed.
It's cool-let it be another learning experience for yourself as I'm sure we all have made hasty decisions at one time or another that's why they put erasers on pencils GL 
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Merriweather: Never mind hun,, a real lesson learnt...
The reality is: that it is fine to speak and interact with lots of people here online... Thats why its here... and most people here talk for months/years just to learn about each other.. and interact.. there usually is no more in it than that...
If someone contacts you with romantic intentions, thats all it is... intentions... to develop any relationship, on line or off line... it takes a huge amount of time.. cos you dont want to be getting it wrong.. I do advise you to take it all with a pinch of salt... and dont get too caught up in the moment. What you think might be your match could be just wishful thinking... Everything will happen at precisely the time it was meant to...
The reality is: that it is fine to speak and interact with lots of people here online... Thats why its here... and most people here talk for months/years just to learn about each other.. and interact.. there usually is no more in it than that...
If someone contacts you with romantic intentions, thats all it is... intentions... to develop any relationship, on line or off line... it takes a huge amount of time.. cos you dont want to be getting it wrong.. I do advise you to take it all with a pinch of salt... and dont get too caught up in the moment. What you think might be your match could be just wishful thinking... Everything will happen at precisely the time it was meant to...
Thank you, you are very sweet, that is precisely the reason why I posted,to hear people's different perspectives and I can see now that I was wrong. This is an international site with a diversity of people from different backgrounds. In some culture's there is no such thing as dating..that is why you find a lot of profiles here stating the fact that they are looking for marriage,not stating oh! but I need to test drive you first lol. Other people believe in love at first site. I have heard of people testifying that when they first saw their now partner, they knew right away they would marry them. The experience is an eye opener though thaks again.
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Serpenta_Manon: Exactly!
Morning Jac!
Morning Jac!
Morning, hunny
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Gateside: Thank you, you are very sweet, that is precisely the reason why I posted,to hear people's different perspectives and I can see now that I was wrong. This is an international site with a diversity of people from different backgrounds. In some culture's there is no such thing as dating..that is why you find a lot of profiles here stating the fact that they are looking for marriage,not stating oh! but I need to test drive you first lol. Other people believe in love at first site. I have heard of people testifying that when they first saw their now partner, they knew right away they would marry them. The experience is an eye opener though thaks again.
Well, I have to say that I'm impressed with your bravery, openness and how you've handled things on this thread.
Its a big culture change that you're looking at and you seem open to adapt.
I reckon I've done a lot of learning and changing in the 6 months I've been involved with the forums.
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as long as you'e not committed to anyone, i guess it's ok.
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jac379: Well, I have to say that I'm impressed with your bravery, openness and how you've handled things on this thread.
Its a big culture change that you're looking at and you seem open to adapt.
I reckon I've done a lot of learning and changing in the 6 months I've been involved with the forums.
Its a big culture change that you're looking at and you seem open to adapt.
I reckon I've done a lot of learning and changing in the 6 months I've been involved with the forums.
well said or spot-on as you call it 
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jac379: Well, I have to say that I'm impressed with your bravery, openness and how you've handled things on this thread.
Its a big culture change that you're looking at and you seem open to adapt.
I reckon I've done a lot of learning and changing in the 6 months I've been involved with the forums.
LMAOIts a big culture change that you're looking at and you seem open to adapt.
I reckon I've done a lot of learning and changing in the 6 months I've been involved with the forums.
Jac you have always been an independant,stroppy Welsh Lass who takes no prisoners and always treats folk well.
You have your own sense of what is right and I like many here often agree with you, mind you, you are always fun and you do not mind a bit of banter often at your expense.
Anyone who has that attitude has my utmost respect and the OP could be well advised to follow the attitude you and a few others have...
As always JMO...
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patmac: LMAO
Jac you have always been an independant,stroppy Welsh Lass who takes no prisoners and always treats folk well.
You have your own sense of what is right and I like many here often agree with you, mind you, you are always fun and you do not mind a bit of banter often at your expense.
Anyone who has that attitude has my utmost respect and the OP could be well advised to follow the attitude you and a few others have...
As always JMO...
Jac you have always been an independant,stroppy Welsh Lass who takes no prisoners and always treats folk well.
You have your own sense of what is right and I like many here often agree with you, mind you, you are always fun and you do not mind a bit of banter often at your expense.
Anyone who has that attitude has my utmost respect and the OP could be well advised to follow the attitude you and a few others have...
As always JMO...
Hi Patmac,,,
I hope you took my advice and had lots of liquid and rest to rid you of your cold...????
U feelin better matey??
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patmac: LMAO
Jac you have always been an independant,stroppy Welsh Lass who takes no prisoners and always treats folk well.
You have your own sense of what is right and I like many here often agree with you, mind you, you are always fun and you do not mind a bit of banter often at your expense.
Anyone who has that attitude has my utmost respect and the OP could be well advised to follow the attitude you and a few others have...
As always JMO...
Jac you have always been an independant,stroppy Welsh Lass who takes no prisoners and always treats folk well.
You have your own sense of what is right and I like many here often agree with you, mind you, you are always fun and you do not mind a bit of banter often at your expense.
Anyone who has that attitude has my utmost respect and the OP could be well advised to follow the attitude you and a few others have...
As always JMO...
Hmmm...yes...that fun and banter IS often at my expense
Thanks Pat, you're a sweety
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Merriweather: Hi Patmac,,, I hope you took my advice and had lots of liquid and rest to rid you of your cold...????
U feelin better matey??
Big pot of home made soup on the go, and lots of Lem-sip, getting better all the time.Be fine by Monday.U feelin better matey??
How are you Skippy? still dead heading the Roses. The looked really nice...
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Things can only be acceptable if YOU are willing to accept them..
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Gateside: When you accept someones invitation to get to know them better with the hope that your chats will develop into a relationship...does that mean other online suitors are off limits? Is it regarded as cheating to be exploring more than one potential.
When I joined CS, I had a couple of interests contact me simaltaneously. I was very keen on both of them and though I would eventually choose one,(Hypocritical I know). When I found one of them online the next day, I was very jealous and accused him of being a cheater.He compared me to his ex. The confrontation turned into a nasty argument which led to the end of the relationship within 24 hours of our introduction,it was not all my fault but nevertheless I regret the incident and wish I could take it all back.I have since discovered that people come on here for other reasons other than dating,e.g for blogs and forums. I feel stupid
When I joined CS, I had a couple of interests contact me simaltaneously. I was very keen on both of them and though I would eventually choose one,(Hypocritical I know). When I found one of them online the next day, I was very jealous and accused him of being a cheater.He compared me to his ex. The confrontation turned into a nasty argument which led to the end of the relationship within 24 hours of our introduction,it was not all my fault but nevertheless I regret the incident and wish I could take it all back.I have since discovered that people come on here for other reasons other than dating,e.g for blogs and forums. I feel stupid
Maybe its unrealistic of us to think we are the only one their talking to romantically .In our minds,we like to think that we are the only one,especially after we have been talking to them a while.
When we find out that they are not only chatting with us,but lots of others at the same time,it can hurt a persons feelings,our pride,because we let our guard down,let them into out heart,we trusted them.When trust is lost,your feelings towards them change also.
But the bottom line is,we own no one,they are free to talk to as many people as they wish,after all we are not married to them.
There are good honest people out there,but there are also players,scammers,we are not all looking for the same thing,some are honest about it,some are not.....good luck..
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Good to see you agreeing with me... Cheers.