The case of the EX (34)
morgansdesire: Ive managed to stay on good terms with some of my ex's, even as friends to a degree, but when its obvious there are underlying issues, like if one of us is having trouble moving on or the relationship just isnt a healthy one for whatever reason, I break all ties with them for the sake of my own health and future prospects.
I really appreciate when i meet men who have been able to maintain a level of civility with some of their ex's too, it shows me they dong just turn into arses cause things didnt work out and they will treat me good afterwards if it doesnt work for us either...
But when men are so easily manipulated by perpetual 'victim' ex girlfriends it makes me wonder what room they will ever have in their lives for a real relationship...
I really appreciate when i meet men who have been able to maintain a level of civility with some of their ex's too, it shows me they dong just turn into arses cause things didnt work out and they will treat me good afterwards if it doesnt work for us either...
But when men are so easily manipulated by perpetual 'victim' ex girlfriends it makes me wonder what room they will ever have in their lives for a real relationship...
I think this is why I'm single
geez i must have made it sound really bad :S
I have a few ex's 9not telling how many) I have a kid to one weve stayed on civil terms with, but a few I have stayed friends with for different reasons, they may be part of one of my social circles, or we really do get along well as friends and dont have a second thought to the past relationship...
the perpetual victim isnt a bunch of girls, its one girl who is always victimised and needs only him to make it better, and uses her entire family and friends to harass untill he gives in just to stop the harrassment and goes to save her day, its not him holding on he makes no contact otherwise, and he tries to ignore her for the most part, but still there she is using every means she can to contact him when conventional methods dont work :(
I have a few ex's 9not telling how many) I have a kid to one weve stayed on civil terms with, but a few I have stayed friends with for different reasons, they may be part of one of my social circles, or we really do get along well as friends and dont have a second thought to the past relationship...
the perpetual victim isnt a bunch of girls, its one girl who is always victimised and needs only him to make it better, and uses her entire family and friends to harass untill he gives in just to stop the harrassment and goes to save her day, its not him holding on he makes no contact otherwise, and he tries to ignore her for the most part, but still there she is using every means she can to contact him when conventional methods dont work :(
trust me if it were a few girls i would be very sus and questioning why so many, hes friends with a couple of his ex's, but they have their plae, the boundaries are very clear, and it seems they have healthy relationships, and the ones he didnt have a healthy relationship with are done and dusted, its just this one that wont leave it be and needs him to save her, pretty much made it clear that unless he saves her she will choose not to save herself
morgansdesire: geez i must have made it sound really bad :S
I have a few ex's 9not telling how many) I have a kid to one weve stayed on civil terms with, but a few I have stayed friends with for different reasons, they may be part of one of my social circles, or we really do get along well as friends and dont have a second thought to the past relationship...
the perpetual victim isnt a bunch of girls, its one girl who is always victimised and needs only him to make it better, and uses her entire family and friends to harass untill he gives in just to stop the harrassment and goes to save her day, its not him holding on he makes no contact otherwise, and he tries to ignore her for the most part, but still there she is using every means she can to contact him when conventional methods dont work :(
I have a few ex's 9not telling how many) I have a kid to one weve stayed on civil terms with, but a few I have stayed friends with for different reasons, they may be part of one of my social circles, or we really do get along well as friends and dont have a second thought to the past relationship...
the perpetual victim isnt a bunch of girls, its one girl who is always victimised and needs only him to make it better, and uses her entire family and friends to harass untill he gives in just to stop the harrassment and goes to save her day, its not him holding on he makes no contact otherwise, and he tries to ignore her for the most part, but still there she is using every means she can to contact him when conventional methods dont work :(
nar that aint me !The break ups were all my fault though and they were innocent victims . . .
Yeah not really.
yeah its not really about the breakups, they happen, its more about not letting go to a point no one can move on, and the chances of finding a new partner that will accept a clingy ex thats always in need are pretty slim
morgansdesire: yeah its not really about the breakups, they happen, its more about not letting go to a point no one can move on, and the chances of finding a new partner that will accept a clingy ex thats always in need are pretty slim
Time to man up a bit in that case.
morgansdesire: yeah its not really about the breakups, they happen, its more about not letting go to a point no one can move on, and the chances of finding a new partner that will accept a clingy ex thats always in need are pretty slim
I moved on straight away I had to as it was him that left me for another woman that was 7 years ago I was devestated. I am so over it now and moving on has helped heal me I believe a lot quicker than if I had hung around. I am happy and enjoying my life now and looking back I feel I have lost nothing. If anything I am glad it happened. Today Life is pure bliss.
morgansdesire: yeah its not really about the breakups, they happen, its more about not letting go to a point no one can move on, and the chances of finding a new partner that will accept a clingy ex thats always in need are pretty slim
Yeah my daugher had that problem when the relationship with her now husband was getting serious.
It got to the point where she was so unhappy about this ex who wouldn't go away, she was considering ending the relationship.
It was then that her man told the other one in no uncertain terms to go away PERMANENTLY, no more calls asking for his help, advice or for that whatever she might have left at his place last year ..
And that was that, no more calls, no contact of any sort and they were able to go on and enjoy their relationship the way it was meant to be.
I often wonder if the recipient of this kind of ex attention actually enjoys it and is reluctant to bring it to an end?
Hmmm..
Damianowen: I think this is why I'm single
Me too (part)
lol, well turns out he wasnt really over her anyway, got the message a few hours ago that once he saw her he realised he still likes her, not back together though and still wants me to drive up in a couple of weeks, im not leading myself on though, his confusion is his problem not mine so I'll make it easy for him hey, he can take his chances with the one that already left him twice before for the permanant boyfriend :P He shouldnt have started dating if he wasnt able to make a clean break in the first place
morgansdesire: lol, well turns out he wasnt really over her anyway, got the message a few hours ago that once he saw her he realised he still likes her, not back together though and still wants me to drive up in a couple of weeks, im not leading myself on though, his confusion is his problem not mine so I'll make it easy for him hey, he can take his chances with the one that already left him twice before for the permanant boyfriend :P He shouldnt have started dating if he wasnt able to make a clean break in the first place
maybe he wants a harem
morgansdesire: lol, well turns out he wasnt really over her anyway, got the message a few hours ago that once he saw her he realised he still likes her, not back together though and still wants me to drive up in a couple of weeks, im not leading myself on though, his confusion is his problem not mine so I'll make it easy for him hey, he can take his chances with the one that already left him twice before for the permanant boyfriend :P He shouldnt have started dating if he wasnt able to make a clean break in the first place
Is this in theory type of an answer? morgansdesire: lol, well turns out he wasnt really over her anyway, got the message a few hours ago that once he saw her he realised he still likes her, not back together though and still wants me to drive up in a couple of weeks, im not leading myself on though, his confusion is his problem not mine so I'll make it easy for him hey, he can take his chances with the one that already left him twice before for the permanant boyfriend :P He shouldnt have started dating if he wasnt able to make a clean break in the first place
Had a feeling that might be the case
Yeah it sounds like he needs time to sort himself out and he really shouldn't be messing with other peoples' emotions in the meantime
My first wife manipulated me through 22 years of marriage. I ended up not trusting her because of her lies. She still tells everyone that I was the one who left and left her with all the debts. Her debts were all her new purchases after separation while I got 1/3 of our joint assets after debts. Plus pay child support. Am I bitter over this? Just a smidgeon. Do we talk? A grand total of 10 words (yes and I can quote them) she has spoken to me over 13 years.
Wife #2 was missing in action when I came home from work one day. A text messages like "you can't have your stuff that I have got." Oops, I really wanted the furniture that my father had built. "I want money because I don't want to have to work." Sorry, I want to enjoy some of the money I had before we met.
So why should I be socialable with them? I can be polite, as I have to be when my children decide that it is time to get married but that is my limit with them. I don't trust them.
Ex girlfriends are different to me. Okay, it didn't work out for us. One from 11 years back was very, very ticked off with me when we broke up. My fault as I was still hung up about the ex. She ended up remarrying, it didn't work out for her. But we are friends after all these years even though we will not get back together again. Mainly because we recall about the good times we had when we were together.
Savour the good times and forget the rocky side.
Wife #2 was missing in action when I came home from work one day. A text messages like "you can't have your stuff that I have got." Oops, I really wanted the furniture that my father had built. "I want money because I don't want to have to work." Sorry, I want to enjoy some of the money I had before we met.
So why should I be socialable with them? I can be polite, as I have to be when my children decide that it is time to get married but that is my limit with them. I don't trust them.
Ex girlfriends are different to me. Okay, it didn't work out for us. One from 11 years back was very, very ticked off with me when we broke up. My fault as I was still hung up about the ex. She ended up remarrying, it didn't work out for her. But we are friends after all these years even though we will not get back together again. Mainly because we recall about the good times we had when we were together.
Savour the good times and forget the rocky side.
morgansdesire: lol, well turns out he wasnt really over her anyway, got the message a few hours ago that once he saw her he realised he still likes her, not back together though and still wants me to drive up in a couple of weeks, im not leading myself on though, his confusion is his problem not mine so I'll make it easy for him hey, he can take his chances with the one that already left him twice before for the permanant boyfriend :P He shouldnt have started dating if he wasnt able to make a clean break in the first place
Just wants you as a back up. Move on
Lookin4missright: Just wants you as a back up. Move on
wash2u: My first wife manipulated me through 22 years of marriage. I ended up not trusting her because of her lies. She still tells everyone that I was the one who left and left her with all the debts. Her debts were all her new purchases after separation while I got 1/3 of our joint assets after debts. Plus pay child support. Am I bitter over this? Just a smidgeon. Do we talk? A grand total of 10 words (yes and I can quote them) she has spoken to me over 13 years.
Wife #2 was missing in action when I came home from work one day. A text messages like "you can't have your stuff that I have got." Oops, I really wanted the furniture that my father had built. "I want money because I don't want to have to work." Sorry, I want to enjoy some of the money I had before we met.
So why should I be socialable with them? I can be polite, as I have to be when my children decide that it is time to get married but that is my limit with them. I don't trust them.
Ex girlfriends are different to me. Okay, it didn't work out for us. One from 11 years back was very, very ticked off with me when we broke up. My fault as I was still hung up about the ex. She ended up remarrying, it didn't work out for her. But we are friends after all these years even though we will not get back together again. Mainly because we recall about the good times we had when we were together.
Savour the good times and forget the rocky side.
Wife #2 was missing in action when I came home from work one day. A text messages like "you can't have your stuff that I have got." Oops, I really wanted the furniture that my father had built. "I want money because I don't want to have to work." Sorry, I want to enjoy some of the money I had before we met.
So why should I be socialable with them? I can be polite, as I have to be when my children decide that it is time to get married but that is my limit with them. I don't trust them.
Ex girlfriends are different to me. Okay, it didn't work out for us. One from 11 years back was very, very ticked off with me when we broke up. My fault as I was still hung up about the ex. She ended up remarrying, it didn't work out for her. But we are friends after all these years even though we will not get back together again. Mainly because we recall about the good times we had when we were together.
Savour the good times and forget the rocky side.
Thanx Mr W, Always s/one worse off. You seem like an hounest & good man. Hope u find happiness 1 day 
A friend of mine who had been married to same man for 30 years recently had a similar expierence. Her husband went to visit family and who turned up while he was thier but the ex girlfriend from just before he was married. He hadnt seen her since they broke up, he decided he still liked her and so he left his wife for this woman and then had the cheek to ask " if it doesnt work out can l come back " She told him where to go obviously and knowing her it wouldnt have been nicely either.
Lookin4missright: Just wants you as a back up. Move on
Lookin4missright: Thanx Mr W, Always s/one worse off. You seem like an hounest & good man. Hope u find happiness 1 day
I try but it doesn't always work being honest. But I have not give up. As Brian said, "always look on the bright side of life"
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Created: Jun 2011
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I really appreciate when i meet men who have been able to maintain a level of civility with some of their ex's too, it shows me they dong just turn into arses cause things didnt work out and they will treat me good afterwards if it doesnt work for us either...
But when men are so easily manipulated by perpetual 'victim' ex girlfriends it makes me wonder what room they will ever have in their lives for a real relationship...