Caring For Someone With Dementia (22)
sassy49senior: As many of you know, I am in a relationship with Lyle. Lyle has a form of dementia, not Alzheimers. His memory is getting much worse.
I can't leave him as he gets very agitated if he can't see me. Also have no one to sit with him for a couple of hours so I can have a break.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? If so how do you handle the situation?
I can't leave him as he gets very agitated if he can't see me. Also have no one to sit with him for a couple of hours so I can have a break.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? If so how do you handle the situation?
Hi Sassy...
sorry to hear about Lyle`s condition...
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Boban1: Hi Sassy...
sorry to hear about Lyle`s condition...
sorry to hear about Lyle`s condition...
Hi Boban
Thank You
At the stage now where things can't change as it is too difficult for him to cope. I am with him 24/7------ This thread is Archived ------
sassy49senior: As many of you know, I am in a relationship with Lyle. Lyle has a form of dementia, not Alzheimers. His memory is getting much worse.
I can't leave him as he gets very agitated if he can't see me. Also have no one to sit with him for a couple of hours so I can have a break.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? If so how do you handle the situation?
I can't leave him as he gets very agitated if he can't see me. Also have no one to sit with him for a couple of hours so I can have a break.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? If so how do you handle the situation?
is there no health care team in the area ? is there a place he could go for respite for a weekend or something ?? you need to take care of yourself as well !!
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ellimere: is there no health care team in the area ? is there a place he could go for respite for a weekend or something ?? you need to take care of yourself as well !!
Thank You ellimere. I love Lyle dearly and am literally afraid to leave him with others. But I have decided to check the health areas and possibly have someone sit with him for a couple of hours a week.
I also have lupus so this is causes some very painful occurences.
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sassy49senior: As many of you know, I am in a relationship with Lyle. Lyle has a form of dementia, not Alzheimers. His memory is getting much worse.
I can't leave him as he gets very agitated if he can't see me. Also have no one to sit with him for a couple of hours so I can have a break.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? If so how do you handle the situation?
sorry to hear,, does he take meds for that?I can't leave him as he gets very agitated if he can't see me. Also have no one to sit with him for a couple of hours so I can have a break.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? If so how do you handle the situation?
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sassy49senior: Thank You ellimere. I love Lyle dearly and am
literally afraid to leave him with others. But I have decided to check the health areas and possibly have someone sit with him for a couple of hours a week.
I also have lupus so this is causes some very painful occurences.
literally afraid to leave him with others. But I have decided to check the health areas and possibly have someone sit with him for a couple of hours a week.
I also have lupus so this is causes some very painful occurences.
the team will get to know him slowly and he will get used to them !! they are usually highly trained to deal with suffers of dementia and will know how to handle him !! both of you will benefit from the break !!
lupus is awful , i know all about pain , iv ehlers-danlos syndrome type 3 and it can be draining to live in pain , never mind to care for somebody with dementia on top !!!
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pedro27: sorry to hear,, does he take meds for that?
He does not take meds as his doctor says nothing will help.
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sassy49senior: He does not take meds as his doctor says nothing will help.
it must be heart breaking, we don't know whats around the corner in life
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Respit care might be an alternative, although Nebraska...hmmm...no idea what you have out there.
Can someone from church or the neighborhood come over to entertain him sometime? Also you might want to look for senior groups and activities and enroll him asap.
Can someone from church or the neighborhood come over to entertain him sometime? Also you might want to look for senior groups and activities and enroll him asap.
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sassy49senior: As many of you know, I am in a relationship with Lyle. Lyle has a form of dementia, not Alzheimers. His memory is getting much worse.
I can't leave him as he gets very agitated if he can't see me. Also have no one to sit with him for a couple of hours so I can have a break.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? If so how do you handle the situation?
I can't leave him as he gets very agitated if he can't see me. Also have no one to sit with him for a couple of hours so I can have a break.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? If so how do you handle the situation?
Check with your local alzheimer's society. It is not important to them whether the case is Alzheimer's, dementia, brain damage. They will provide respite care for care givers dealing with any cognitive disorder regardless of diagnosis. They will do cognitive testing as well. At least here they do. They have day care programs that Lyle can attend with others and group get togethers for care givers as well. I'm fairly certain these programs are universal for AS, Sassy.
I can sympathize, as I care for my mother 24/7. They can also direct you to other agencies that can help for both of you. I know how important it is to get respite care and how hard it is manage your own emotions under the stress when it seems to be all on you., So give them a call. The Alzheimer's society is a great resource.
Respect sassy.
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sassy49senior: He does not take meds as his doctor says nothing will help.
Perhaps seek some other doctors' opinions on this. There are meds. Not a cure, but they slow down the process. There is also a point he will reach where the agitation will cease, but it is a long and difficult progression and I truly feel for you.
If you aren't physically able to care for him (and there is a time he will no longer be able to physically care for himself), an full time care facility should be considered.
There are studies being done on Coconut Oil. A tablespoon per day has shown significant success in temporarily reversing the progression of dementia, alzheimers, and parkinsons. Would be worth a call to a physician.
Yes...I have gone through this.
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sassy49senior: As many of you know, I am in a relationship with Lyle. Lyle has a form of dementia, not Alzheimers. His memory is getting much worse.
I can't leave him as he gets very agitated if he can't see me. Also have no one to sit with him for a couple of hours so I can have a break.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? If so how do you handle the situation?
I can't leave him as he gets very agitated if he can't see me. Also have no one to sit with him for a couple of hours so I can have a break.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? If so how do you handle the situation?
Hi Sassy!
The mother of a dear friend of mine went into dementia and it was scary but sometimes there were some memorable moments.
The Mother would think she was the daughter and other times she would be calling for the father as they were teenagers and newly married in love.
I hope you get the help that you need and it is admirable of yours to care for Lyle, I guess that is what real love is.
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In response to: As many of you know, I am in a relationship with Lyle. Lyle has a form of dementia, not Alzheimers. His memory is getting much worse.
I can't leave him as he gets very agitated if he can't see me. Also have no one to sit with him for a couple of hours so I can have a break.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? If so how do you handle the situation?
I can't leave him as he gets very agitated if he can't see me. Also have no one to sit with him for a couple of hours so I can have a break.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? If so how do you handle the situation?
Hi Sassy
My mother suffers from dementia, and is cared for by my father, she is 93 and my father a month away from 95, I arranged for a local neighbour to slowly become friends with my mum, after about a month, my father was able to take a few hours off two or three times a week, with the friend just sitting and chatting with my mum, it has done wonders for my dad.Mum takes meds which DO seem to help, they stop the mood swings and aggression, so think about it!!
It is such a sad condition, for ALL concerned, I chat to my parents every night via skype, in the last year, she often wonders who I am, but seems friendly, after our chat she asks my dad " who was that nice young man?" breaks me up, but all we can do is try to be strong and make sure they are safe and loved. My Dad is amazing, he gets depressed of course, but still rises to the occasion and copes reasonably well, we are fortunate in that we have a close family, and although I am in China, we keep in constant touch and my sons help enormously.
Check out the local clinics, I am sure the US have similar systems as the UK that can provide specialist carers for temporary respite, and give you a chance to regain your strength.
Take care Sassy and very best wishes from your old friend Riz
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Thank you to all for helping me with different things to try. As I am not here often I sometimes lose touch with those who became friends. I appreciate all and miss many of you.
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I have two friends who's husbands are in varying stages of altzheimers.
From my observation of the progress of both cases I would say it is advisable to get a plan of help in action immediately. It is impossible to manage on your own.
Will pray for you.
From my observation of the progress of both cases I would say it is advisable to get a plan of help in action immediately. It is impossible to manage on your own.
Will pray for you.
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hoolet: I have two friends who's husbands are in varying stages of altzheimers.
From my observation of the progress of both cases I would say it is advisable to get a plan of help in action immediately. It is impossible to manage on your own.
Will pray for you.
From my observation of the progress of both cases I would say it is advisable to get a plan of help in action immediately. It is impossible to manage on your own.
Will pray for you.
Thank you hoolet. I do try but if I even mention have someone keep him company for a couple of hours while I go have coffee with my sisters he gets very agitated. I spent 4 hours in clinic 2 days ago going through tests to be sure I did not have a mild stroke from the stress. I t was just a very painful bout from the lupus.
I love him to pieces but just not sure how to handle him without him telling me if I don't dtay with him or if I put him in a home he will overdose on meds. So as you see it is not an easy situation.
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sassy49senior: Thank you hoolet. I do try but if I even mention have someone keep him company for a couple of hours while I go have coffee with my sisters he gets very agitated. I spent 4 hours in clinic 2 days ago going through tests to be sure I did not have a mild stroke from the stress. I t was just a very painful bout from the lupus.
I love him to pieces but just not sure how to handle him without him telling me if I don't dtay with him or if I put him in a home he will overdose on meds. So as you see it is not an easy situation.
I love him to pieces but just not sure how to handle him without him telling me if I don't dtay with him or if I put him in a home he will overdose on meds. So as you see it is not an easy situation.
Hi Sassy. Very difficult times
How about having someone come and keep you BOTH company for a couple of hours, as often as they can... Then slowly that person "doing something he needs" because you happen to be "in the bathroom", "making a drink", "fixing lunch", "popping out to get something from local shop which you just happen to have forgotten" etc...
Gradually he´ll get used to the person´s company and kindness towrds him and won´t feel "deserted" by you just all of a sudden even if it´s for a short while.
A bit like weaning a child from the company of their mother 24/7. First time you don´t leave them on their own with someone they don´t know very well. It´s a gradual process so they learn their mum always comes back.
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EagleWoman: Hi Sassy. Very difficult times
How about having someone come and keep you BOTH company for a couple of hours, as often as they can... Then slowly that person "doing something he needs" because you happen to be "in the bathroom", "making a drink", "fixing lunch", "popping out to get something from local shop which you just happen to have forgotten" etc...
Gradually he´ll get used to the person´s company and kindness towrds him and won´t feel "deserted" by you just all of a sudden even if it´s for a short while.
A bit like weaning a child from the company of their mother 24/7. First time you don´t leave them on their own with someone they don´t know very well. It´s a gradual process so they learn their mum always comes back.
How about having someone come and keep you BOTH company for a couple of hours, as often as they can... Then slowly that person "doing something he needs" because you happen to be "in the bathroom", "making a drink", "fixing lunch", "popping out to get something from local shop which you just happen to have forgotten" etc...
Gradually he´ll get used to the person´s company and kindness towrds him and won´t feel "deserted" by you just all of a sudden even if it´s for a short while.
A bit like weaning a child from the company of their mother 24/7. First time you don´t leave them on their own with someone they don´t know very well. It´s a gradual process so they learn their mum always comes back.
Thank You Eagle Woman, I did get our neighbor to consent to stay with Lyle Tuesday night while I go to a meeting for caregivers. He and Lyle have known each other for years and he is not annoyed with Lyle's asking the same thing over and over. I just hope it is the right thing for me to do. Not used to leaving someone I love when I know he will not understand. Just going to tell him I am taking my sis to the store and may be gone for an hour or so.
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Created: May 2012
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I can't leave him as he gets very agitated if he can't see me. Also have no one to sit with him for a couple of hours so I can have a break.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? If so how do you handle the situation?