Commitment (28)

Hi all, this thread is more thrown towards the men. Ladies views are very welcome. What is the fear that men have towards commitment? Iv met a man who is seperated. Our first few dates went really well to the point he told me that he thought he wasnt ready for a relationship until he met me. At NO stage did I mention a relationship or anything serious to him.....not my style. Then all of a sudden BOOM im hit with listen I cant commit to you with everything that has happened i.e seperation. I dont want commitment from him but Im confused as to why men have such a fear of it?

I have a very long and detailed opinion to your question, but for now I will just say that the majority of men coming out of a marriage haven't a clue what they want!!!!

Please feel free to mail me for the long and detailed explanation

i can only imagine it was too long spent in a wrong relationship, and it's taking time to heal

id say have a chat with the guy himself..

people here can only give u their opinions on why people have a fear of commitment from their own experiences and people around them..

but the man himself can tell u why he himself has this fear and his reasons..

if he cant open up yet..then just be a friend for now..some people need a gentle re entry into trust.

on a diff note..u never mentioned if he has kids..or if he has a good relationship with his ex if he does...or are his living arrangements not exactly to what he would like either..these are all factors..many separated men feel they dont have much to offer a new woman because everything is tied up with the family ..separation can make men especially feel worthless financially, and to some..this is important part of who they are.

You said at no stage did you mention wanting a relationship but I'm getting the feeling from what you have written here that it was on your agenda otherwise you would have agreed with him and carried on without escalation. So perhaps he sensed it too and was letting you know before things got out of hand. He was probably just not into you. It happens.

Men are not afraid of 'committment' in general but as kid says we would not like to hitch our wagon to someone we would not be happy with, even though quite often unfortunately we do. It's getting harder for men to have relationships because of the way the law is stacked against us. One allegation or a series of rumours issued against us can ruin our lives. We can be physically battered and there is little hope we will even be believed let alone helped. Apart from such catastrophic outcomes there are also many ways a woman in todays world with her shopping list of entitlements can make a man very unhappy. Fortunately we still have the choice to remain single and in my experience opinion it's the only sane thing for the modern man.