women keeping husbannds name after divorce ( Archived) (117)

Mar 29, 2013 2:36 PM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
Harleyquinn
HarleyquinnHarleyquinnBetwixt the stix, Illinois USA10 Threads 1,707 Posts
tomcatwarne: I think the Bible and the Koran and the Torah have many truths hidden within, before everyone jumps on me for being a religious nut I'm not. But these books have the wisdom of the ages within,you just have to sort out the chaff from the wheat.

The expression the sins of the fathers shall be visited upon the children has a ring of truth JMO


I agree!

They seem like bits & pieces of a much larger work of knowledge/truth.
Unfortunately, with concurrent(of the time) cultural dogma splattered all over in between the pertinent bits!

I think this is true of most religion's doctrines.


One similar theme threading through most of the world's major religions is, in the christian terms, the Golden Rule!

If nothing else probably the most important one of all of them!!
IMO


SHANTIwine
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Mar 29, 2013 2:36 PM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
jono7: ...thinkin' it's not gonna be an issue...

bit of a here (sorry OP) but jac, have you ever seen any of banksy's work?

No, not in the flesh. There was an exhibition in Bristol (in England, about 1 1/2 hours away on the train) a while back, but I didn't get to see it because of family commitments.

You like a bit of Banksy, eh?
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Mar 29, 2013 3:10 PM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
jono7
jono7jono7Out West, British Columbia Canada3 Threads 8,017 Posts
jac379: No, not in the flesh. There was an exhibition in Bristol (in England, about 1 1/2 hours away on the train) a while back, but I didn't get to see it because of family commitments.

You like a bit of Banksy, eh?


yah...like a lot of Banksy...thumbs up
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Mar 29, 2013 3:14 PM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
camilleclaudel69
camilleclaudel69camilleclaudel69Oxford, Oxfordshire, England UK1 Posts
why not. Its nothing wrong. Why would she change?
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Mar 29, 2013 3:31 PM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
epirb
epirbepirbDannevirke, Hawke's Bay New Zealand32 Threads 2 Polls 7,379 Posts
One couple that farmed around here stayed un-married , kept their own names , kids had dad's surname . No one misunderstood who she was as both had their careers before they moved here and moved again onto a bigger farm . Unusual for a couple to be unmarried and farming together . 2 out of 50 odd maybe .
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Mar 29, 2013 5:06 PM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
candio
candiocandioYoungstown, Ohio USA20 Threads 568 Posts
Glatlol: Oh I hear you on that one.

Am really surprised that it isnt an easy option, ah well its just a name



It would be nice if they could make taking your maiden name back easier. If I had made it to court then it would have been easy. I was half a country away though.
It may be just a name but I would much rather carry my maiden name. It is such a nice name.
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Mar 30, 2013 8:54 AM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
Maus19
Maus19Maus19Kilkenny, Ireland3 Threads 397 Posts
jac379: Is it possible to fail at one's own interpretation of something? I hope not because my inner Twitchy is still working on it and I don't like the pressure - it makes me a bit anxious and speedy, y'know.
Not sure, I put it in front of the feminist&nerd comity over lunch. Two camps have emerged and opinions change like a weathervane caught in a tornado.
So far the only helpful conclusion, if anyone could it would be me. We'll discuss child labour next. That might work more into my favour.
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Mar 30, 2013 9:10 AM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
Maus19
Maus19Maus19Kilkenny, Ireland3 Threads 397 Posts
People pass on, perfectly normal behaviour. What is unknown to them they can not pass on.
god damn, what I have so far are chains of thoughts shred to bits and rammed into a blender creating nutritious muck.
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Mar 30, 2013 11:23 AM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
Maus19
Maus19Maus19Kilkenny, Ireland3 Threads 397 Posts
jac379: The given name becomes the 'what you are' symbol, the chosen name the 'who you are' symbol. Bingo.
thumbs up
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Mar 30, 2013 12:19 PM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
Maus19: ...Hard to avoid or an easy trap to step into. We can only pass on what we know, conscious or not.

If I think of where I've gone wrong as a parent, I'd say it would be not unravelling all the unhealthy unconscious influences upon myself before I gave birth, or not finding the handbook which came out with the placenta. One of the two.

Where I went wrong was where I stepped into the trap, but here I am with my daughter about to move out and I'm still trying to get a grip on the trap and probably always will be.

Setting traps for failure and then berating that person for failure is about as abusive as it gets, apart from possibly manipulating a situation where the job of self-denigration is foisted upon the person set up to fail.

Exodus 20:3-6 – Thou shalt have no other gods bartering before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image self-sustaining lifestyle, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above content with thy lot, or that is in the earth beneath healthy, or that is in the water under the earth pretty mellow: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God Credit Card am a jealous God millstone around your neck, visiting the iniquity lack of equity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me have a too high an AQ score to work me out; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me cane me to the max, and keep my commandments interest payments coming in.

Just playin'. grin


Maus19: Make sure it has its teeth put in

laugh

It can have its teeth back after I've lobbed it down the embankment and not before.
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Mar 30, 2013 3:26 PM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
Maus19
Maus19Maus19Kilkenny, Ireland3 Threads 397 Posts
jac379: If I think of where I've gone wrong as a parent, I'd say it would be not unravelling all the unhealthy unconscious influences upon myself before I gave birth, or not finding the handbook which came out with the placenta. One of the two.

Where I went wrong was where I stepped into the trap, but here I am with my daughter about to move out and I'm still trying to get a grip on the trap and probably always will be.

Setting traps for failure and then berating that person for failure is about as abusive as it gets, apart from possibly manipulating a situation where the job of self-denigration is foisted upon the person set up to fail.

Exodus 20:3-6 – Thou shalt have no other gods bartering before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image self-sustaining lifestyle, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above content with thy lot, or that is in the earth beneath healthy, or that is in the water under the earth pretty mellow: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God Credit Card am a jealous God millstone around your neck, visiting the iniquity lack of equity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me have a too high an AQ score to work me out; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me cane me to the max, and keep my commandments interest payments coming in.

Just playin'.
all game.
Just thinking on where that jealous thing goes wrong as well.
Reading that first quote, all of it, but only registering the last part.
It made me realise, we are selective with what we take in.
Whatever is passed on, there is no guarantee that we take it in in the first place.
and if we do, all depends on how we interpreting it and we still can make the effort not to pass it on.
Randomness
Unravelling all the unconscious influences, now now, no little task that must be worth the cub scouts lifetime achievement award.
One lazy Sunday afternoon... as for that handbook, would we want to read it? Only if we can write it ourself. I don't like to be told what to do.
Stepping into the trap is neither wrong or a mistake, it's a given we will.
Never trying to get a grip , avoiding to inform there is one or assuming that one day we would have it sussed would be.
And perfection is unwanted.
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Apr 3, 2013 12:46 PM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
tarris
tarristarrisnew plymouth, Taranaki New Zealand4 Threads 395 Posts
Tomcats2: Is it right that women keep their marrie name when they divore their husbands
ps this is not an attack woman thread
they will only keep the name if there is financial or social gain
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Apr 3, 2013 12:49 PM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
tarris
tarristarrisnew plymouth, Taranaki New Zealand4 Threads 395 Posts
Tomcats2: Is it right that women keep their marrie name when they divore their husbands
ps this is not an attack woman thread
they will only keep the name if there is financial or social gain
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Apr 3, 2013 1:21 PM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
Tomcats2: Is it right that women keep their married name when they divore their husbands
ps this is not an attack woman thread
when I was growing up,it created quite a Stigma,if the Kids in School had their Pa's name,and their Ma had reverted to her Maiden-name!
So they usually left well enough alone,and kept their married Name!
Made things much easier!
No explaining that the Kids were legitimate,no explaining the difference in name came from a Divorce!
Women were still looked at quite askance in the late forties,when they had Children out of wedlock!
So why create an unnecessary situation!
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Apr 3, 2013 2:26 PM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
MermaidDreams
MermaidDreamsMermaidDreamsOffaly, Ireland1 Threads 1 Polls 800 Posts
Tomcats2: Is it right that women keep their marrie name when they divore their husbands
ps this is not an attack woman thread


I don't think it's a case of whether it's right or wrong, it's whatever suits I guess.
I'd have changed mine but in my case I'm not even legally separated yet, so it's the paperwork that's holding me back. But I fully intend to go back to my maiden name in the near future.
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Apr 6, 2013 9:43 AM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
Tomcats2: Is it right that women keep their marrie name when they divore their husbands
ps this is not an attack woman thread


I am Divorced for more than 12 years. And I'm still using my EX's name. I shouldn't be using it but I have no time to change it -- too much paper works to be done. I'll just wait for the time I'll get married again so that I can change it...angel
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Apr 8, 2013 7:28 PM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
KittyHugs
KittyHugsKittyHugsGod's Country, North Carolina USA8 Threads 184 Posts
rellie1965: It's a personal choice thing. Some women keep it because there are still dependant children from the marriage. It makes life a little easier on the child if both parents have the same surname as it (the child).

Also depends on what brought about the termination of the marriage. Maybe they just drifted apart and the thought of keeping her ex's surname isn't so abhorrent as it could be to someone that went through a bad breakup.


I agree:)
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Apr 15, 2013 9:45 AM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
snowella
snowellasnowellastratford, Ontario Canada12 Threads 108 Posts
Tomcats2: the surname was a gift at marriage


OMG that is so cute, I never thought of it that way.
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Apr 15, 2013 10:01 AM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
Obstinance_Works
Obstinance_WorksObstinance_WorksManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3 Threads 1 Polls 3,514 Posts
I think it's right that a married couple share the same surname. After this it doesn't really matter. My own name comes from my parent's marriage as they both ditched their maiden names when they wedded. Which personally I'm happy about.
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Apr 21, 2013 12:14 AM CST women keeping husbannds name after divorce
fallen_wolf
fallen_wolffallen_wolfBatam, Riau Island, Riau Islands Indonesia3 Threads 805 Posts
Tomcats2: Is it right that women keep their marrie name when they divore their husbands
ps this is not an attack woman thread


I didnt use mine after separated :)
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