should a man judge a woman by the mistakes of her past ( Archived) (65)

Should a woman judge a man by the mistakes of his past?

Judge no, but be very aware of, most certainly, because people have a tendency to repeat their past.

First, let us note you wrote in the plural. MistakeS, not the singular mistake. This to me implies repeated errors in judgment or what the older than 21 people refer to as 'pre-disposed.'

So we have someone who is pre-disposed to make mistakes. What kind is very relevant. If the mistakes are severe enough society probably noticed and there may have been a court ruling. Sometimes when I avoid intimate relations with such persons it isn't judgmental but rather instead awareness combining with self preservation. Because there are bullets in my house, I could (here in the US) go to jail if I knowingly let you (a convicted felon) in and didn't watch you closely the whole time. If you pocket a single piece of ammo or a grain of powder, I have granted you access to and face 5 years. So I don't date those women, or drop them when the past becomes known. Let them find a non-hunter, and good luck to them. Not judgmental, but self-preservation.

Then there are the lesser mistakes. Children. She has kids, and they aren't my own? Virginia (the regional government hereabouts) came out with a horrid court ruling about a decade ago. If a man accepts a woman and children of another man, and provides support to those children, then when the relationship ends, that man may still find himself liable for child support until the children are of age, even though he is not the father. You have kids? Guess what? It isn't judgmental as I leave you standing there, it is financial self preservation. In my youth I once lived with a woman who had a child. I was in another state too. Lovely kid. We (the mom and I) broke up. I missed the kid a lot to, for years. Back then it was, whatever. No consequences. In this state, that would no longer be the rule. Had it happened in the here and now, when she leaves she may be taking a part of my income, and future income, with her. So for as long as I reside here, if you have children, keep on walking.

Tattoos. They are a clear violation of the 2nd Commandment. Yes, so is my photography and sometimes this troubles me. I grow more troubled by seeing a tattoo on a pretty woman. To me it is a statement against and an intentional insult to God. He has his own way of getting even, so that is not my job. No doubt her life began turning to kaka right around the time she got the tattoo. Not my worry, that is between her and Him. Would I knowingly date a woman with a tattoo? I don't recall it ever being the sole determining factor, but I am also unable to recall ever dating someone where I noticed a tattoo on them before we began dating (meet n greets over coffee don't count as dates). Hidden tattoos. If you have a tattoo in a personal place, that is, and always will be, a constant reminder to the man, there is nothing special about this relationship to you, because you have allowed lots of people, even strangers in tattoo parlors to handle these places before, so nothing about this relationship is to be viewed seriously or as special. I don't see a reaction to a tattoo on an erogenous zone as judgmental. I see it as a practical situation awareness.

Multiple lovers (maybe some very bad choices). No, I have never held that against the woman. Frankly I don't get to date people as young as you that much anymore. Most of my partners have a few years more on them, so I enter the relationship with an expectation she has been with someone else a few times. No training required. YeHah.

Why not,women are capable of judging men on their past also.If its personalised judgement its not very nice for either side but in some cases it might be the truth and those people don't want to face up to it.
Everyone gauges each others behavior to see if they are suitable and/or acceptable to begin a relationship with.