self knowledge (47)
man has reached the moon, everest, south-and north-pole and soon the mars.Nobody is bothered about the purpose.
Man has not even made an inner effort to know himself.We know more about outer things than we know about our own self.
Self knowledge should be our priority and then the outer world.
so more you know yourself so more easy it is in the outside world.
Man has not even made an inner effort to know himself.We know more about outer things than we know about our own self.
Self knowledge should be our priority and then the outer world.
so more you know yourself so more easy it is in the outside world.
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KNenagh: Hi felixis, I changed jobs a year ago and did ask for feedback / if everything is ok shortly after starting and after 1 year. I do like to hold on to my current job and it is hard to know what other people think about your work if you don't get feedback. I would prefer to change some things before they get out of hand if necessary.
Otherwise it's a process with me, I did change a lot in regards to dealing with people at work and also privately - I put my foot down a lot more and don't take any messing. Does feel good to me and for everything else - I do have a family who has no problem pointing out my bad (and good) habits to me.
Otherwise it's a process with me, I did change a lot in regards to dealing with people at work and also privately - I put my foot down a lot more and don't take any messing. Does feel good to me and for everything else - I do have a family who has no problem pointing out my bad (and good) habits to me.
lol yes, our families can be very forthcoming with information. I don;t know that family members are able to see us outside of the roles they place us in though. a mom is always a "mom" and such.
How were you able to learn to be more assertive in a way that was not "aggressive" or to avoid offending others? I'd be interested in hearing about your success with that if you care to share?
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Glitch101: We are who we are warts and all. All of our idiosyncrasy's make us who we are,and are part of our character.
As adults we really should know how to behave by now don't you think.j.m.o.
As adults we really should know how to behave by now don't you think.j.m.o.
yes I agree completely. I think sometimes when we are thrown into a group, however, the group dynamics will necessitate some accommodations for others. especially when the group is such that you haven't chosen the members (like work) or when the people aren;t known that well to each other.
for me one item that is consistent is familiarity and personal boundaries. I tend not to get along as well with others who do not respect personal boundaries or who have weak personal boundaries....just can't make myself do it...lol. tho will remain civil, of course, I find such individuals difficult to communicate with.I don;t have any plans to change that per se as it is also part of my values system. but I do want to examine my personal effectiveness where I do have to communicate with someone.
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lucynad: hiya, felixis
i guess, i don't strictly evaluate myself, but i am very attentive at what makes me happy...
if i am not happy with a situation/interaction/state of things i would ponder what i can do that would make me feel satisfied..
generally, "trial & error" is my way of proceeding in these cases..
i guess, i don't strictly evaluate myself, but i am very attentive at what makes me happy...
if i am not happy with a situation/interaction/state of things i would ponder what i can do that would make me feel satisfied..
generally, "trial & error" is my way of proceeding in these cases..
I am probably more of a planner. I do the exact same things also though as far as constantly evaluating my happiness. it's like I have a program that constantly runs in the background lol
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nokundi: man has reached the moon, everest, south-and north-pole and soon the mars.Nobody is bothered about the purpose.
Man has not even made an inner effort to know himself.We know more about outer things than we know about our own self.
Self knowledge should be our priority and then the outer world.
so more you know yourself so more easy it is in the outside world.
Man has not even made an inner effort to know himself.We know more about outer things than we know about our own self.
Self knowledge should be our priority and then the outer world.
so more you know yourself so more easy it is in the outside world.
thanks I appreciate what you have said! I suppose it is possible that a quest for self improvement is a quest, really, for self knowledge...particularly for me because I have no plans to make any substantial changes. I am reasonably happy with myself. Self kowledge increases one's ability to evaluate the need (or not) for change
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felixis99: I actually tend to agree with much of what you say....whether it is (or anything) is supported by scientific evidence holds less sway with me because I am a numbers person myself. One can find "evidence" to prove nearly anything. Isn't the internet lovely :) ???
But yes, I am not looking at this from a POV of being self critical. As I had mentioned earlier (to larry I believe), it is not a matter of anything being "wrong" with oneself, but perhaps a desire to improve in some areas. I am a good communicator. For me to improve in that arena is simply taking something that works well and making it better.
By the same, I am not nearly as open to the criticism of others. such folk I feel need first to look inward and/or find a hobby and leave me alone...
I do NOT feel I need to change to adapt. Instead I expect to find a situation where I do not need to be accommodating to an unreasonable degree. And, there are certain things I have already chosen to NOT change (even tho others have suggested I should). what is needed by us all though is to make reasonable accommodations in a group setting. certainly that does not require me to fundamentally change who I am.
But yes, I am not looking at this from a POV of being self critical. As I had mentioned earlier (to larry I believe), it is not a matter of anything being "wrong" with oneself, but perhaps a desire to improve in some areas. I am a good communicator. For me to improve in that arena is simply taking something that works well and making it better.
By the same, I am not nearly as open to the criticism of others. such folk I feel need first to look inward and/or find a hobby and leave me alone...
I do NOT feel I need to change to adapt. Instead I expect to find a situation where I do not need to be accommodating to an unreasonable degree. And, there are certain things I have already chosen to NOT change (even tho others have suggested I should). what is needed by us all though is to make reasonable accommodations in a group setting. certainly that does not require me to fundamentally change who I am.
You really can't find evidence to support anything - we went through the enlightenment to defeat this way of thinking - but yes you can warp statistics by broadening them to disguise other factors. Which is why I like to keep mine very specific: e.g. if a validated study says that Wives are divorcing their Husbands more when their Husbands share the housework then it's becasue Wives are divorcing their Husbands more when they share the housework.
And yes, what I mean by criticising yourself and the world is because you need to do the latter to figure what you want from the world and the former to get what you want from the world. But I'd still say that you do need to change. We're changing all the time. Nobody is born with experience, and experience is change.
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felixis99: How good are you at evaluating yourself and facing up to habits or attitudes you have that could use improvement? Have you ever planned a course of action to improve a habit or an attitude? How did that go?
(I am asking because I am trying to improve some skills at my work. Communication is one of them)
(I am asking because I am trying to improve some skills at my work. Communication is one of them)
I am not that smart but I think it is our human nature that always motivate us to improve ourselves become better and better... and only the selfish ones, the autism ones and the slow ones who wait until others get hurt and start to critizise them... IMO...
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Cyn_Real: I am not that smart but I think it is our human nature that always motivate us to improve ourselves become better and better... and only the selfish ones, the autism ones and the slow ones who wait until others get hurt and start to critizise them... IMO...
More true for your culture than mine. The Sword of Damocles hanging over your heads is a surefire way of ensuring that people face reality. However, in a softer society improvement becomes a choice and not a necessity - you don't need to strive to avoid death - and so in place of self-criticism comes self-rationalisation; i.e. placating yourself with comforting lies that are affordable because they won't get you killed(also known as decadence).
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felixis99: yes I agree completely. I think sometimes when we are thrown into a group, however, the group dynamics will necessitate some accommodations for others. especially when the group is such that you haven't chosen the members (like work) or when the people aren;t known that well to each other.
for me one item that is consistent is familiarity and personal boundaries. I tend not to get along as well with others who do not respect personal boundaries or who have weak personal boundaries....just can't make myself do it...lol. tho will remain civil, of course, I find such individuals difficult to communicate with.I don;t have any plans to change that per se as it is also part of my values system. but I do want to examine my personal effectiveness where I do have to communicate with someone.
for me one item that is consistent is familiarity and personal boundaries. I tend not to get along as well with others who do not respect personal boundaries or who have weak personal boundaries....just can't make myself do it...lol. tho will remain civil, of course, I find such individuals difficult to communicate with.I don;t have any plans to change that per se as it is also part of my values system. but I do want to examine my personal effectiveness where I do have to communicate with someone.
Hi Felix,
Yes it is difficult when mixing with others in the work place I agree. However, having to change my attitude to be able to mix with others with a different outlook or attitude, is not something that I would agree with.
It's being an individual that makes us different. I think for women it's more difficult when working with an all female work force. Too many hormones in competition with each other.
Other than what already has been said ,just being polite , having respect,and, as you say ,not intruding on another's personal space, one can only hope for a balance which suits all. Qualities we should use on a daily basis with everyone we come into contact with.
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I think the first thing one has to do is embrace what is positive about oneself.
By feeling positive about oneself,you can make strides towards any changes you wish to make with confidence.
If a person dwells on there negative points,then as they strive to improve,the danger is that during the proccess they will continuously have self doubt about themselves,there abilities,and take the easy way out,and return to what they find comfortable.
By feeling positive about oneself,you can make strides towards any changes you wish to make with confidence.
If a person dwells on there negative points,then as they strive to improve,the danger is that during the proccess they will continuously have self doubt about themselves,there abilities,and take the easy way out,and return to what they find comfortable.
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Selfsearching has to become a regular habit,daily if possible!
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Conrad73: Selfsearching has to become a regular habit,daily if possible!
I do selfsearching whenever I look in the mirror.
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felixis99: lol yes, our families can be very forthcoming with information. I don;t know that family members are able to see us outside of the roles they place us in though. a mom is always a "mom" and such.
How were you able to learn to be more assertive in a way that was not "aggressive" or to avoid offending others? I'd be interested in hearing about your success with that if you care to share?
How were you able to learn to be more assertive in a way that was not "aggressive" or to avoid offending others? I'd be interested in hearing about your success with that if you care to share?
I didn't say it happened without offending anyone.
I'm thinking if you do put down your foot and don't let colleagues / bosses walk over you, it doesn't make you popular. But I'm going to work to do my job and not to be everybody's ejit.
I think if you do a good job in a professional way, be open to criticism, be able to work out if something didn't go right, you'll be grand.
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felixis99: lol yes, our families can be very forthcoming with information. I don;t know that family members are able to see us outside of the roles they place us in though. a mom is always a "mom" and such.
How were you able to learn to be more assertive in a way that was not "aggressive" or to avoid offending others? I'd be interested in hearing about your success with that if you care to share?
How were you able to learn to be more assertive in a way that was not "aggressive" or to avoid offending others? I'd be interested in hearing about your success with that if you care to share?
I didn't say it happened without offending anyone.
I'm thinking if you do put down your foot and don't let colleagues / bosses walk over you, it doesn't make you popular. But I'm going to work to do my job and not to be everybody's ejit.
I think if you do a good job in a professional way, be open to criticism, be able to work out if something didn't go right, you'll be grand.
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Changing work skills is not really so difficult. We must adapt to changes throughout our working lives otherwise we remain dinosaurs! I constantly update my teaching skills, it's an ongoing process. I maintain my skills by taking exams, attending courses etc. However, it's much more difficult in my opinion to change one's day to day life. We tend to get set in our ways the older we get, and that's a huge mistake which I'm trying to work on and avoid.
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I just started my own home business and obviously don't have to rearrange my whole for co-workers.
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Obstinance_Works: You really can't find evidence to support anything - we went through the enlightenment to defeat this way of thinking - but yes you can warp statistics by broadening them to disguise other factors. Which is why I like to keep mine very specific: e.g. if a validated study says that Wives are divorcing their Husbands more when their Husbands share the housework then it's becasue Wives are divorcing their Husbands more when they share the housework.
And yes, what I mean by criticising yourself and the world is because you need to do the latter to figure what you want from the world and the former to get what you want from the world. But I'd still say that you do need to change. We're changing all the time. Nobody is born with experience, and experience is change.
And yes, what I mean by criticising yourself and the world is because you need to do the latter to figure what you want from the world and the former to get what you want from the world. But I'd still say that you do need to change. We're changing all the time. Nobody is born with experience, and experience is change.
well I diagree totally. I have experience, much more life expereince than most of those I am surrounded with, including you. I have enough experience to know whether a particular change is in my best interests, or something i am interested in. I am also the best judge of whether I need to change and whether to accept advice on change. So no I do not think I have to change at all and I have no plan to make even the slightest effort to do so (unless I chose to so for some reason). incidental changes related to life events that evolve...probably yes, if I perceive them to be in my best interests. but I do not change on anyone else's say so and never will
I do think one can prove nearly anything using stats including you and I don;t beleive that your stats are any cleaner than anyone else;s - so quote away. I still don;t necessarily buy any of it. particularly any opinion you attempt to support that involves women. there you get no support from me, but I am sure you realize that.
we all know you're a wind up and most of your posts are designed with that in mind.. excuse me whilst I yawn lol
at first I was deluded for a moment thinking you might be contributing some thing constructive ... lol
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Glitch101: Hi Felix,
Yes it is difficult when mixing with others in the work place I agree. However, having to change my attitude to be able to mix with others with a different outlook or attitude, is not something that I would agree with.
It's being an individual that makes us different. I think for women it's more difficult when working with an all female work force. Too many hormones in competition with each other.
Other than what already has been said ,just being polite , having respect,and, as you say ,not intruding on another's personal space, one can only hope for a balance which suits all. Qualities we should use on a daily basis with everyone we come into contact with.
Yes it is difficult when mixing with others in the work place I agree. However, having to change my attitude to be able to mix with others with a different outlook or attitude, is not something that I would agree with.
It's being an individual that makes us different. I think for women it's more difficult when working with an all female work force. Too many hormones in competition with each other.
Other than what already has been said ,just being polite , having respect,and, as you say ,not intruding on another's personal space, one can only hope for a balance which suits all. Qualities we should use on a daily basis with everyone we come into contact with.
yes right I am not talkng about changing fundamentally who you are. I am talking about things like maybe not kicking the chair in front of you or using a tissue to sneeze....not changing your attitude. I think mutual appreciation and the Golden Rule work wonders in a group setting
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(I am asking because I am trying to improve some skills at my work. Communication is one of them)
hiya, felixis
i guess, i don't strictly evaluate myself, but i am very attentive at what makes me happy...
if i am not happy with a situation/interaction/state of things i would ponder what i can do that would make me feel satisfied..
generally, "trial & error" is my way of proceeding in these cases..