an awkward position... (15)
online today!online today!rohaanCoos Bay, Oregon USA229 Threads 10,514 PostsSomeone I know just told me that they forged a document (for convenience, not necessarily to actively commit fraud). The law regarding these kinds of things does not require me to report it. However, I can't get it off my mind. This person talks the "talk" about right and wrong, etc...but makes these "little" exceptions to suit personal situations. It is not much use to comment because s/he always has a snappy answer. Another person in my life told me to not say anything at all to the person, even adding, "You're not _____'s parent, you're not the police". Just when IS something our business? (I believe that because s/he told me, it became my business). What do you folks think?
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rohaan: Someone I know just told me that they forged a document (for convenience, not necessarily to actively commit fraud). The law regarding these kinds of things does not require me to report it. However, I can't get it off my mind. This person talks the "talk" about right and wrong, etc...but makes these "little" exceptions to suit personal situations. It is not much use to comment because s/he always has a snappy answer. Another person in my life told me to not say anything at all to the person, even adding, "You're not _____'s parent, you're not the police". Just when IS something our business? (I believe that because s/he told me, it became my business). What do you folks think?
Ahh yes...I know a couple of people like this. Always the first ones to judge others about "right and wrong" but seem to justify themselves when they do the wrong thing.
I try and avoid people like this at all costs...they just bring you down. Good luck.
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Don't get involved. It's not worth the hassle, especially if what she's doing is not going to have any major effect on anyone. LIfe's too short.
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rohaan: Someone I know just told me that they forged a document (for convenience, not necessarily to actively commit fraud). The law regarding these kinds of things does not require me to report it. However, I can't get it off my mind. This person talks the "talk" about right and wrong, etc...but makes these "little" exceptions to suit personal situations. It is not much use to comment because s/he always has a snappy answer. Another person in my life told me to not say anything at all to the person, even adding, "You're not _____'s parent, you're not the police". Just when IS something our business? (I believe that because s/he told me, it became my business). What do you folks think?
What are the consequences of his/her actions? Has someone been hurt, or is someone likely to get hurt?
What will be the consequences of your actions? Will someone get hurt? Will you be hurt?
If there is more than one principle involved, which is the greater priority?
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Being in an awkward situation, time for you to look, then say all that you believe is not right with you. Then you may sleep sound.
Be honest, at the time. If not, and it takes a time for thinking, go with youre feelings. Sleep well.
Be honest, straight away.
Be honest, at the time. If not, and it takes a time for thinking, go with youre feelings. Sleep well.
Be honest, straight away.
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sophiasummer: Being in an awkward situation, time for you to look, then say all that you believe is not right with you. Then you may sleep sound.
Be honest, at the time. If not, and it takes a time for thinking, go with youre feelings. Sleep well.
Be honest, straight away.
Thank you so much. Your response was by far the very best. I can sleep well saying nothing to the person or anyone else, after thinking about it for a long time. (No one was injured, defamed, or damaged, btw--and I'm sure the person who did it weighed the probability of getting found out. Still, I wish I didn't know--it would have been better to have not told anyone, for that person. Final verdict regarding this sort of thing: If you find you must do something marginal for convenience sake, whatever, that you could get in a bit of trouble for if found out, but are "OK" with your own character in spite of the deceit, then SHUT UP. Don't tell anyone about it. There is a certain responsibility in having to know. If you want something to be a secret then keep the secret.Be honest, at the time. If not, and it takes a time for thinking, go with youre feelings. Sleep well.
Be honest, straight away.
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My advice to you is to leave it.. it is none of your business to interfere and I would leave it to karmic laws to make justice... which is always done... it's only a question of time. I hope this will help!!!
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rad2014: My advice to you is to leave it.. it is none of your business to interfere and I would leave it to karmic laws to make justice... which is always done... it's only a question of time. I hope this will help!!!
Yes, and I am taking your advice with one disagreement: It used to be none of my business. When s/he told me of it, it became my business because now I know. Do you understand what I mean? (If you don't want something to be someone else's business, then don't tell them about it. Doesn't that make sense??)------ This thread is Archived ------
lonelygal122: Ahh yes...I know a couple of people like this. Always the first ones to judge others about "right and wrong" but seem to justify themselves when they do the wrong thing.
I try and avoid people like this at all costs...they just bring you down. Good luck.
I try and avoid people like this at all costs...they just bring you down. Good luck.
Yup. That's the thing, isn't it. People use these things to their own convenience. Sad, isn't it?
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Have you never done anything wrong or reckless in your life..such as sneak alcohol into a club..and no matter how small. If not then I daresay you must be more of a saint than an actual saint. If you have and if it's less than the infraction you're referring to (care to share what it was, I can't help being nosey,) is it any less wrong. If it's not a biggie, wouldn't it be better not to make a fuss and leave it be. One thing I've learned.. never to confide in you 
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mzetoile: Have you never done anything wrong or reckless in your life..such as sneak alcohol into a club..and no matter how small. If not then I daresay you must be more of a saint than an actual saint. If you have and if it's less than the infraction you're referring to (care to share what it was, I can't help being nosey,) is it any less wrong. If it's not a biggie, wouldn't it be better not to make a fuss and leave it be. One thing I've learned.. never to confide in you
You certainly bring up some interesting points. None of us are blameless, of course. But if you knew of something that fell into your obligatory role (here we call it mandatory reporting) would you be justified in not reporting it because we are, all, after all, guilty of things, big or small. So, in my mind, no one should really report anybody for anything if you use that as a litmus test. The policeman who arrests a man for hitting and/or abusing emotionally his wife may very well be doing the same thing in his home. (Oh relax, I'm not going to tell anyone about my acquaintance--but we do have to weigh the importance of things. I can't just look the other way if I see two thieves breaking into my neighbor's house to steal furniture because somewhere in my past, I stole a candy bar or took more than my share at a buffet. Know what I mean?)------ This thread is Archived ------
rohaan: Someone I know just told me that they forged a document (for convenience, not necessarily to actively commit fraud). The law regarding these kinds of things does not require me to report it. However, I can't get it off my mind. This person talks the "talk" about right and wrong, etc...but makes these "little" exceptions to suit personal situations. It is not much use to comment because s/he always has a snappy answer. Another person in my life told me to not say anything at all to the person, even adding, "You're not _____'s parent, you're not the police". Just when IS something our business? (I believe that because s/he told me, it became my business). What do you folks think?
Don't worry about it Rohann
If he/she tells you something then he/she trust you not to squeal on them,besides if its just for convenience purpose then whats the big deal??
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rohaan: You certainly bring up some interesting points. None of us are blameless, of course. But if you knew of something that fell into your obligatory role (here we call it mandatory reporting) would you be justified in not reporting it because we are, all, after all, guilty of things, big or small. So, in my mind, no one should really report anybody for anything if you use that as a litmus test. The policeman who arrests a man for hitting and/or abusing emotionally his wife may very well be doing the same thing in his home. (Oh relax, I'm not going to tell anyone about my acquaintance--but we do have to weigh the importance of things. I can't just look the other way if I see two thieves breaking into my neighbor's house to steal furniture because somewhere in my past, I stole a candy bar or took more than my share at a buffet. Know what I mean?)
Hiya Ro
I know what ya mean jellybean. 
Keep in mind though that it depends on how serious this particular persons forgery is. If there are no serious repercussions, I wouldn't worry too much about it. 
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Tormented: Don't worry about it Rohann
If he/she tells you something then he/she trust you not to squeal on them,besides if its just for convenience purpose then whats the big deal??
If he/she tells you something then he/she trust you not to squeal on them,besides if its just for convenience purpose then whats the big deal??
I'd go tell the priest am in a sticky situation
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rohaan: You certainly bring up some interesting points. None of us are blameless, of course. But if you knew of something that fell into your obligatory role (here we call it mandatory reporting) would you be justified in not reporting it because we are, all, after all, guilty of things, big or small. So, in my mind, no one should really report anybody for anything if you use that as a litmus test. The policeman who arrests a man for hitting and/or abusing emotionally his wife may very well be doing the same thing in his home. (Oh relax, I'm not going to tell anyone about my acquaintance--but we do have to weigh the importance of things. I can't just look the other way if I see two thieves breaking into my neighbor's house to steal furniture because somewhere in my past, I stole a candy bar or took more than my share at a buffet. Know what I mean?)
Your examples don't count as I did say if it wasn't something major.
Some things to think about..how betraying that person might affect you (over what you termed as marginal) and your relationship with them, the drama it creates, by not voicing your thoughts they may confide in you some other wrong-doing - if you're reluctant to tell them what you think, at least make it clear you're not interested in hearing about this stuff, to stop him/her bothering you in future. I thought this might be more about clearing your conscience than righting a wrong..since you mentioned mandatory reporting, I guess that's where your dilemma stems from. It's your choice.
In another thread, I gave an example of a rude cafe staffer I experienced recently but never thought to complain about. At another similar establishment the girl was so shockingly rude, I promptly emailed an official complaint to the company when I got home. one wasn't a big deal compared to the other which is why I mustn't have thought it worth worrying about (or maybe I just want to return as I haven't tried the food yet lol).
At the end of the day we're all adults and have to make our own decisions and be responsible for them. So I can really own speak for myself.
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Created: May 2014
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