If a women asks you random questions about marriage are they interested in you or just being nice an (44)
Alans22Galway, Ireland2 Threads 8 Postsrecently started a new job 4 months ago.One of the female shift managers has asked me random questions such as "When and how old do I plan on getting married", "How many children do I plan on having". We were recently on a staff outing and when we were driving along she pointed to a house and said to me "When we get married you have to buy me that house". I'm not exactly the most confident nor straight forward type of guy and i'm not sure what sort of signals I should be picking up from this, please help! :) I just don't want to misread a situation
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She's taking the piss, because you have displayed a lack of confidence and appear awkward in front of women, by teasing you she gets a laugh at your expense.
Two choices, either tell her to put up or shut up or turn the tables and tease her.
The second choice is more likely to end with her becoming genuinely interested in you!!
Two choices, either tell her to put up or shut up or turn the tables and tease her.
The second choice is more likely to end with her becoming genuinely interested in you!!
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A plumber came to my home on Sunday to fix my drip.
My question to him was, are you married and do you have children.
His response was no not for me. I was so glad not to drag him away from his family on a weekend.
My question to him was, are you married and do you have children.
His response was no not for me. I was so glad not to drag him away from his family on a weekend.
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Alans22: recently started a new job 4 months ago.One of the female shift managers has asked me random questions such as "When and how old do I plan on getting married", "How many children do I plan on having". We were recently on a staff outing and when we were driving along she pointed to a house and said to me "When we get married you have to buy me that house". I'm not exactly the most confident nor straight forward type of guy and i'm not sure what sort of signals I should be picking up from this, please help! :) I just don't want to misread a situation
If she asks you again, tell her you plan to get married if, and when, you ever meet a lady with a bit of class.
Let her take from that what she will.
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if that don't work , maybe tell her when the right guy comes along
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mollybaby: She is a manager in his new place of employment!
She should not be treating new employees in that manner.
She should not be treating new employees in that manner.
Oh, yes I see your point and I have considered this situation too.
It's a very hypocritic morality that only serves the business owners well; But not the working people/humans. In many countries such morality has never been enforced. Pure protestants :-).
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There are too options.
(a) she is interested in you and she giving you direct clues. Maybe you were immune to the tiny ones she tried previously so she decided to be more direct. Or she is simply direct person.
(b) she sees you are not most confident and not very straight forward and she is teasing you/having fun.
Any of both are not that bad if she is being nice and knows the limit. And both of you are enjoying it.
The issue is that in first case you do need to know if you are interested or not, think about consequences, and keep in mind that you are not going to know for sure what she means till you make the move. If she is interested and you make a move, can happen "happily ever after".
Yet if she isn't and she is your manager, well… could turn to some bad work environment. The same if she is interested, you are not, then you need to be very careful as how to deal with it. The wounded pride of your manager wouldn't be sth good.
In the second case, you need to set the limits, and do it with all elegance and tact possible. See the "wounded pride…"
Being on your place I would never go to interpret her behavior or answer her questions the way mollybaby suggested. (gain "wounded manager…").
Also, if she is really interested in you I wouldn't put it in "lack of class" box. "Class" is way overrated. It's pretending that you don't care about things you care a lot (marriage, status, money, etc.). I rather have people stating clear their expectations (like she telling you she wants to get married and have kids) than pretending they are someone else, etc. Of course she could be more elegant, wait till you both feel you are on friendly level and so on. But maybe she already was and you did not notice.
We were not there, we can not say.
Personally, I like to know if the man is looking for next girlfriend or he is interested in having family. Good if our expectations meet. Why to waist time on someone whose expectations / plans for the future are not matching or getting close to my own?
(a) she is interested in you and she giving you direct clues. Maybe you were immune to the tiny ones she tried previously so she decided to be more direct. Or she is simply direct person.
(b) she sees you are not most confident and not very straight forward and she is teasing you/having fun.
Any of both are not that bad if she is being nice and knows the limit. And both of you are enjoying it.
The issue is that in first case you do need to know if you are interested or not, think about consequences, and keep in mind that you are not going to know for sure what she means till you make the move. If she is interested and you make a move, can happen "happily ever after".
Yet if she isn't and she is your manager, well… could turn to some bad work environment. The same if she is interested, you are not, then you need to be very careful as how to deal with it. The wounded pride of your manager wouldn't be sth good.
In the second case, you need to set the limits, and do it with all elegance and tact possible. See the "wounded pride…"
Being on your place I would never go to interpret her behavior or answer her questions the way mollybaby suggested. (gain "wounded manager…").
Also, if she is really interested in you I wouldn't put it in "lack of class" box. "Class" is way overrated. It's pretending that you don't care about things you care a lot (marriage, status, money, etc.). I rather have people stating clear their expectations (like she telling you she wants to get married and have kids) than pretending they are someone else, etc. Of course she could be more elegant, wait till you both feel you are on friendly level and so on. But maybe she already was and you did not notice.
We were not there, we can not say.
Personally, I like to know if the man is looking for next girlfriend or he is interested in having family. Good if our expectations meet. Why to waist time on someone whose expectations / plans for the future are not matching or getting close to my own?
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Alans22: recently started a new job 4 months ago.One of the female shift managers has asked me random questions such as "When and how old do I plan on getting married", "How many children do I plan on having". We were recently on a staff outing and when we were driving along she pointed to a house and said to me "When we get married you have to buy me that house". I'm not exactly the most confident nor straight forward type of guy and i'm not sure what sort of signals I should be picking up from this, please help! :) I just don't want to misread a situation
How old is she?
Is she divorced?
On the United Federation of Planets recognised 1-10 beauty scale - where is she?
She's either laughing at you. Coming onto you in that blunt way that middle-aged divorcees do. Or is younger(ish)and desperate to get married to and pregnant by anybody so long as it happens this year.
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My vows to you Catico! You are the most intelligent woman on this site and probably very high in the ranking of entire Germany too.
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She's younger than me (21) and we get on quiet well normally. When she asked me those questions, it was quiet and she'd approach me out of the blue and ask me those. I told her already that I planned on getting married eventually, but was waiting for the right girl to come along. She didn't ask me those questions really with the attempt to intimidate me and she's a good looking girl. More than likely, out of most of the management that work in there, she has more common sense than many of them and she does a good job.
I'm planning on moving on from the job soon and get some work within my field. So maybe, when I finish up i'll leave the option to her. Thanks for all the replies guys, it's much appreciated. Kinda a cache 22 in terms of whether or not she's interested or not, but hopefully things will become more obvious
I'm planning on moving on from the job soon and get some work within my field. So maybe, when I finish up i'll leave the option to her. Thanks for all the replies guys, it's much appreciated. Kinda a cache 22 in terms of whether or not she's interested or not, but hopefully things will become more obvious
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Alans22: She's younger than me (21) and we get on quiet well normally. When she asked me those questions, it was quiet and she'd approach me out of the blue and ask me those. I told her already that I planned on getting married eventually, but was waiting for the right girl to come along. She didn't ask me those questions really with the attempt to intimidate me and she's a good looking girl. More than likely, out of most of the management that work in there, she has more common sense than many of them and she does a good job.
I'm planning on moving on from the job soon and get some work within my field. So maybe, when I finish up i'll leave the option to her. Thanks for all the replies guys, it's much appreciated. Kinda a cache 22 in terms of whether or not she's interested or not, but hopefully things will become more obvious
I'm planning on moving on from the job soon and get some work within my field. So maybe, when I finish up i'll leave the option to her. Thanks for all the replies guys, it's much appreciated. Kinda a cache 22 in terms of whether or not she's interested or not, but hopefully things will become more obvious
Why don't you just ask her out for a drink?
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Alans22: We have a Christmas party coming up for the staff soon enough, so was just going to wait for that. Probably not the best idea though
Alan. Lad... you're too young to be getting married. Wait until you're my age. Second of all... what are ya going to get married for? Is it for kids? Or career purposes? Either of those things can wait 10 years. Trust me. And I can tell you now... there is absolutely no other reason in this country to get married.
Now about this young lady. For her to mention things and think in such a manner means she's got her priorities kinda right in a way. She's hardly Irish is she?
Also the women at work thing.... I made that mistake once when I was about 20/21. That means you're allowed to make that mistake too. Once, like.
And don't be waiting for Xmas party. Be a bit more assertive. She could be at the Xmas party and end up in the arms of some other lad. That's the way women, particularly Irish women are. They don't give a bollix... self confidence issues will push them to the one they don't really want a lot of the time.
The one thing you haven't really mentioned is your own feelings. You haven't really told us you're mad about her or what? You seem a bit... iffy.
BTW, here's a guide for picking the right wife.
I started a thread before on this topic.
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MADDOG69: Alan. Lad... you're too young to be getting married. Wait until you're my age. Second of all... what are ya going to get married for? Is it for kids? Or career purposes? Either of those things can wait 10 years. Trust me. And I can tell you now... there is absolutely no other reason in this country to get married.
Now about this young lady. For her to mention things and think in such a manner means she's got her priorities kinda right in a way. She's hardly Irish is she?
Also the women at work thing.... I made that mistake once when I was about 20/21. That means you're allowed to make that mistake too. Once, like.
And don't be waiting for Xmas party. Be a bit more assertive. She could be at the Xmas party and end up in the arms of some other lad. That's the way women, particularly Irish women are. They don't give a bollix... self confidence issues will push them to the one they don't really want a lot of the time.
The one thing you haven't really mentioned is your own feelings. You haven't really told us you're mad about her or what? You seem a bit... iffy.
BTW, here's a guide for picking the right wife.
I started a thread before on this topic.
Now about this young lady. For her to mention things and think in such a manner means she's got her priorities kinda right in a way. She's hardly Irish is she?
Also the women at work thing.... I made that mistake once when I was about 20/21. That means you're allowed to make that mistake too. Once, like.
And don't be waiting for Xmas party. Be a bit more assertive. She could be at the Xmas party and end up in the arms of some other lad. That's the way women, particularly Irish women are. They don't give a bollix... self confidence issues will push them to the one they don't really want a lot of the time.
The one thing you haven't really mentioned is your own feelings. You haven't really told us you're mad about her or what? You seem a bit... iffy.
BTW, here's a guide for picking the right wife.
I started a thread before on this topic.
Hey, well, i've no intention on getting married until i'm about 35 years old. Want to be completely set on my work career before I get to that point. I would want to get married because I find it a comforting though. She is Irish and the two of us graduated from college this year.
That's true, maybe I shouldn't wait that long to see if anything could work out. The only reason I am reluctant to approach her about it is because we're in the work place and I don't really like awkwardness in the work place. She is a really good looking girl, and I am interested in her but never really thought about it cause we're co-workers.
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:)) Women get these type of questions more or less subtle at almost every job interview, as managers want to know how to "plan" the work.
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MARRAIGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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rebel2: MARRAIGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oye! Get outta there! I was here first!
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rizlared: She's taking the piss, because you have displayed a lack of confidence and appear awkward in front of women, by teasing you she gets a laugh at your expense.
Two choices, either tell her to put up or shut up or turn the tables and tease her.
The second choice is more likely to end with her becoming genuinely interested in you!!
Two choices, either tell her to put up or shut up or turn the tables and tease her.
The second choice is more likely to end with her becoming genuinely interested in you!!
The third choice is!!! Don't be surpised if she rapes you.-
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chris27292729: The third choice is!!! Don't be surpised if she rapes you.-
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