control (101)
Kaybee50: There are dominant personalities in this world.
There are submissive personalities in this world.
Dominance does not necessarily equate with abusive.
Submissive does not necessarily equate with doormat.
It takes a self-aware person to know his/her strengths, talents, and skills and bring them forth in a work relationship, social relationship, as well as a romantic partnership.
There are submissive personalities in this world.
Dominance does not necessarily equate with abusive.
Submissive does not necessarily equate with doormat.
It takes a self-aware person to know his/her strengths, talents, and skills and bring them forth in a work relationship, social relationship, as well as a romantic partnership.
Ideally yes, but if you look at the record of so many people, there are some that live in a very hostile environment and while it is not necessarily always caused by control (ling partner) or lack of it, it is out there.
for the purpose of this post I see personally a case where one is way too controlling at the demise of the other.
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jono7: 'life is a constant state of compromise'...
Very well said Jono.
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Kaybee50: There are dominant personalities in this world.
There are submissive personalities in this world.
Dominance does not necessarily equate with abusive.
Submissive does not necessarily equate with doormat.
It takes a self-aware person to know his/her strengths, talents, and skills and bring them forth in a work relationship, social relationship, as well as a romantic partnership.
There are submissive personalities in this world.
Dominance does not necessarily equate with abusive.
Submissive does not necessarily equate with doormat.
It takes a self-aware person to know his/her strengths, talents, and skills and bring them forth in a work relationship, social relationship, as well as a romantic partnership.
The very premise of your statement, "it takes a self-aware person to know his/her strength, talents and skills...." Yes indeed, and unfortunately not always that people are aware of what they have and or don't have. I myself is not always on the self awareness level but most of the time, I know when I am being controlled without regard to what I want and how I want things done.
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lindsyjones: Ideally yes, but if you look at the record of so many people, there are some that live in a very hostile environment and while it is not necessarily always caused by control (ling partner) or lack of it, it is out there.
for the purpose of this post I see personally a case where one is way too controlling at the demise of the other.
My response was to this statement you made: "But to exercise dominance over the other is a poison to the other. Unless of course, as one put it in the previous page, there are some that just wants to be a doormat."for the purpose of this post I see personally a case where one is way too controlling at the demise of the other.
You appear to be equating Dominance with poison being a poisonous relationship that results in doormats.
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lindsyjones: The very premise of your statement, "it takes a self-aware person to know his/her strength, talents and skills...." Yes indeed, and unfortunately not always that people are aware of what they have and or don't have. I myself is not always on the self awareness level but most of the time, I know when I am being controlled without regard to what I want and how I want things done.
So are you perhaps a dominant personality?------ This thread is Archived ------
Kaybee50: So are you perhaps a dominant personality?
It depends, although, with all the relationships I had (two long ones, 13, 30 years and), it was not an issue as to whether we had a control problem or not. lol.
At first we look for our strength, then consider them to help us in our growth and it always worked.
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there is no control in a relationship true love comes from the soul.. you cannot control if someone loves you or not.. in order for love to last they both must be willing to open their hearts up to each other.. allow love for each other to grow with each of their heart beats.. ever lasting love comes from the soul.. you cannot and should not try to control someone.. to be with you or not to be with you.. to love you or not to love you is choices a person must make out of their own free will...
what to do or what not to do.. what to think or not to think, what to believe or what not to believe are choices one must make out of their own free will.. the choices and decision one makes is the ones they make out of their own free will.. no one has the right to try to take or makes these choices and decisions for someone else..
true love is freely giving it not something that can be taken.. but it is something earn and giving out of ones free will.. you cannot make someone love you, you can only make someone hate you
what to do or what not to do.. what to think or not to think, what to believe or what not to believe are choices one must make out of their own free will.. the choices and decision one makes is the ones they make out of their own free will.. no one has the right to try to take or makes these choices and decisions for someone else..
true love is freely giving it not something that can be taken.. but it is something earn and giving out of ones free will.. you cannot make someone love you, you can only make someone hate you
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savingzgrace: there is no control in a relationship true love comes from the soul..
'love can't exist in a state of control'
i read this statement years ago, right here in a forum on cs.
reading it, changed my life.
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Control in a relationship is the killer of relationships. Looking at a relationship in progress it needs to float evenly with the participants. It needs to find a level of mutuality. It should find a level without control. It rises and falls with ups and downs but the participants need to let it grow with respect and fail with the same respect. I hate overbearing, forcing it, or impatience and as a man I hate a woman being subservient and giving away her rights and becoming a smaller part of the relationship
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lindsyjones: It depends, although, with all the relationships I had (two long ones, 13, 30 years and), it was not an issue as to whether we had a control problem or not. lol.
You're... 60? You don't look a day over 28. Well done.
I assume you started to have relationships not before you'd turned 17 and you were monogamous all along.
You're savagely good looking for your age.
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jono7: 'love can't exist in a state of control'
i read this statement years ago, right here in a forum on cs.
reading it, changed my life.
i read this statement years ago, right here in a forum on cs.
reading it, changed my life.
thanks Jono------ This thread is Archived ------
savingzgrace: there is no control in a relationship true love comes from the soul.. you cannot control if someone loves you or not.. in order for love to last they both must be willing to open their hearts up to each other.. allow love for each other to grow with each of their heart beats.. ever lasting love comes from the soul.. you cannot and should not try to control someone.. to be with you or not to be with you.. to love you or not to love you is choices a person must make out of their own free will...
what to do or what not to do.. what to think or not to think, what to believe or what not to believe are choices one must make out of their own free will.. the choices and decision one makes is the ones they make out of their own free will.. no one has the right to try to take or makes these choices and decisions for someone else..
true love is freely giving it not something that can be taken.. but it is something earn and giving out of ones free will.. you cannot make someone love you, you can only make someone hate you
what to do or what not to do.. what to think or not to think, what to believe or what not to believe are choices one must make out of their own free will.. the choices and decision one makes is the ones they make out of their own free will.. no one has the right to try to take or makes these choices and decisions for someone else..
true love is freely giving it not something that can be taken.. but it is something earn and giving out of ones free will.. you cannot make someone love you, you can only make someone hate you
What a great seed of wisdom. And it should be. But what happens with all our flaws, our imperfections. It rules us and take away our ability to do good. There is more evil on this world than good and it is humanly so.
However in the words of those who has reached that level of wisdom, yes indeed.
Wouldn't it be great if we know this and exactly do as it is ideal?
The problem is we have so much crap in our life and let it rule us.
And you said it, true love. Then maybe there are so many love out there and being true is not a part of their reality.
I agree with you in everything you said. Now look at reality. How many can we claim that lives like you have presented? I would love to be like that forever and meet someone who can endearingly render such a profound love.
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jono7: 'love can't exist in a state of control'
i read this statement years ago, right here in a forum on cs.
reading it, changed my life.
i read this statement years ago, right here in a forum on cs.
reading it, changed my life.
Absolutely, but there is a certain order and peace in a controlled environment. I believe, it is more of a positive control. Where one can definitely feel good without being suffocated.
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Vijon70: Control in a relationship is the killer of relationships. Looking at a relationship in progress it needs to float evenly with the participants. It needs to find a level of mutuality. It should find a level without control. It rises and falls with ups and downs but the participants need to let it grow with respect and fail with the same respect. I hate overbearing, forcing it, or impatience and as a man I hate a woman being subservient and giving away her rights and becoming a smaller part of the relationship
Vijon, this is the most amazing post I have read on this thread. Thank you for sharing your opinion.
We can learn. I believe that adjustment and willingness to change is the key. We are who we are. Not perfect, but if we put our efforts to learn and be a student of life, including but not limited to building up a good relationship, there has got to be a mutual understanding for both parties.
Overbearing and very powerfully controlling is not healthy at all.
I have always been strong. Surprisingly, I get attracted by powerful and with strong conviction type of man. I admire that quality. You are very right in presenting it where there is a mutual agreement from both parties. Thank you again.
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petofisandor: You're... 60? You don't look a day over 28. Well done.
I assume you started to have relationships not before you'd turned 17 and you were monogamous all along.
You're savagely good looking for your age.
I assume you started to have relationships not before you'd turned 17 and you were monogamous all along.
You're savagely good looking for your age.
Thank you so much. I am 65 years old and yes I do look very much younger than my age. I only eat fresh fruits and vegetables and never done any drugs, smoke or any pollution in my body. Thank you so much.
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Vijon70: Control in a relationship is the killer of relationships. Looking at a relationship in progress it needs to float evenly with the participants. It needs to find a level of mutuality. It should find a level without control. It rises and falls with ups and downs but the participants need to let it grow with respect and fail with the same respect. I hate overbearing, forcing it, or impatience and as a man I hate a woman being subservient and giving away her rights and becoming a smaller part of the relationship
...good post...... ------ This thread is Archived ------
as the saying goes. a man spent all his life , looking for the perfect woman.....when he found her was no good.....
because.....she was looking for the perfect man.....
because.....she was looking for the perfect man..... ------ This thread is Archived ------
truheart1941: as the saying goes. a man spent all his life , looking for the perfect woman.....when he found her was no good..... because.....she was looking for the perfect man.....
Love it true.
Good morning from the side of my world.
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For some, it works.
In my mind, there is nothing remotely successful about it. I don't handle control very well. It leads to bitter disappointment which I definitely don't deal with well......
In my mind, there is nothing remotely successful about it. I don't handle control very well. It leads to bitter disappointment which I definitely don't deal with well......
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A snog on your handsome cheek as I take my leave.