Surviving a relationship... (39)
Even if you haven't dated one, is there anyone with psychological background that can offer advice.
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i lived with one for 10 years and it took me 10 years to heal from it. I will never find someone like that again For i know my worth.
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deedee123xo: I, like many here, I asumer, have dated like types of personalities.
But how many have dated and survived dating a narcissistic man/woman.
What was your experience should you choose to share.
I dated one briefly in 2016.
Then went on to be sucked in time after time since....'hoovering' is the term used when they use pity and manipulation to get you to go back to them.
How have you managed to break free from this type of personality and are you always looking over your shoulder for when they inevitably come back.
hoovering !! really. I had to get rid of my brilliant old hoover,,,,,But how many have dated and survived dating a narcissistic man/woman.
What was your experience should you choose to share.
I dated one briefly in 2016.
Then went on to be sucked in time after time since....'hoovering' is the term used when they use pity and manipulation to get you to go back to them.
How have you managed to break free from this type of personality and are you always looking over your shoulder for when they inevitably come back.
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marlindap: i lived with one for 10 years and it took me 10 years to heal from it. I will never find someone like that again For i know my worth.
Did he keep coming back Marlindap?It's easy to say just say no but I find they use different methods each time...and each time thinking they have learned from their mistakes?
I can totally get how it would take a further 10 years to heal...the likes of it I have never experienced a day I only suffered 3 years.
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michaelright: hoovering !! really. I had to get rid of my brilliant old hoover,,,,,
Hardy har Michael 
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Hi deedee As I said to you earlier today that my late husband was one. How I survived for almost 20 some years in that kind of situation I don't know. I guess because I was too stubborn and never was a quitter and refused to give up.
He was very good as manipulation but his true self didn't really come out up until I married him.That is when his true self came out.
I did some reading on Narcissistic people once and learned that they show no empathy and only think about themselves.I read a long list of things but some I forgot.
He was very good as manipulation but his true self didn't really come out up until I married him.That is when his true self came out.
I did some reading on Narcissistic people once and learned that they show no empathy and only think about themselves.I read a long list of things but some I forgot.
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deedee123xo: I, like many here, I asumer, have dated like types of personalities.
But how many have dated and survived dating a narcissistic man/woman.
What was your experience should you choose to share.
I dated one briefly in 2016.
Then went on to be sucked in time after time since....'hoovering' is the term used when they use pity and manipulation to get you to go back to them.
How have you managed to break free from this type of personality and are you always looking over your shoulder for when they inevitably come back.
By modern days pop psychology, non of us is mentally healthy -Manipulation techniques is used in everydays life ,commercials,advertising ... so, how do we deal with a demanding person, or with someone who doesn't vibrate on the same frequency -well the best is to use their weapons against themBut how many have dated and survived dating a narcissistic man/woman.
What was your experience should you choose to share.
I dated one briefly in 2016.
Then went on to be sucked in time after time since....'hoovering' is the term used when they use pity and manipulation to get you to go back to them.
How have you managed to break free from this type of personality and are you always looking over your shoulder for when they inevitably come back.
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Limun: By modern days pop psychology, non of us is mentally healthy -Manipulation techniques is used in everydays life ,commercials,advertising ... so, how do we deal with a demanding person, or with someone who doesn't vibrate on the same frequency -well the best is to use their weapons against them
Yes but then you can end up in a stalemate situation and be at loggerheads. Something has to break and if you are clever enough you need to tap into the motivationreason behind the weapons and what makes them function.
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CosmosDazzler: Yes but then you can end up in a stalemate situation and be at loggerheads. Something has to break and if you are clever enough you need to tap into the motivationreason behind the weapons and what makes them function.
hey, anything that works as long as you are clear on your own feelings
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Bearwoman: Hi deedee As I said to you earlier today that my late husband was one. How I survived for almost 20 some years in that kind of situation I don't know. I guess because I was too stubborn and never was a quitter and refused to give up.
He was very good as manipulation but his true self didn't really come out up until I married him.That is when his true self came out.
I did some reading on Narcissistic people once and learned that they show no empathy and only think about themselves.I read a long list of things but some I forgot.
Yes BW you were part inspiration for This thread.He was very good as manipulation but his true self didn't really come out up until I married him.That is when his true self came out.
I did some reading on Narcissistic people once and learned that they show no empathy and only think about themselves.I read a long list of things but some I forgot.
I believe that healing from the effects of them is just as hard as dealing with them.
It's the waiting to see what is next from them is the hard part...you feel you can't move on as they will come back no matter the avenues you take to block them
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If it is the same person, realize they will never change, and when they tell you they love you, it is out of wanting to control you. Even 12 after we have been apart if he sees me he still tries to tell me he loves me.Someone who loves you will not hurt you on purpose or put you last. The things done to me are very personal so i will not write my experience here, but i do understand the feeling you can never do enough, that you have no value, they tell you you are ugly but will not leave you even when you ask them to.
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Limun: hey, anything that works
as long as you are clear on your own feelings
As in I love you baby, now drop em blossomas long as you are clear on your own feelings
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Limun: By modern days pop psychology, non of us is mentally healthy -Manipulation techniques is used in everydays life ,commercials,advertising ... so, how do we deal with a demanding person, or with someone who doesn't vibrate on the same frequency -well the best is to use their weapons against them
That's all well and good if you know goind into the relationship that they are Narcissistic and you still continue to see them....but their biggest personality trait is them being always 10 steps ahead of you.The mind games ..manipulation....subtle put downs..mental anguish...I doubt anyone would willingly want to play those games back to them....
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I was with one for about a year or so and well lets just say once I could see through him the jig was up....he tried everything in the book as far as manipulation went and nothing work...he also stalked me afterwards and was becoming quite dangerous....the only thing you can do is stand firm in your no and follow through with whatever you have said....you give em an inch and they take a mile....
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Hello Dee
Yes..I've known one for some time and had a "friendship" with one..
The other one is a family number.
I was able to say NO to them both and cut all emotional cords with them.
Yes..I've known one for some time and had a "friendship" with one..
The other one is a family number.
I was able to say NO to them both and cut all emotional cords with them.
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deedee123xo: That's the thing..they are the best thing ever in the initial stages.
See Bearwomans post where she didn't see his true colours until married..by then it's almost too late.
Yes I read her post. Now I’d like to know how this characteristic manifests itself in people, is it generic, a bad experience etc that sets it off?See Bearwomans post where she didn't see his true colours until married..by then it's almost too late.
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deedee123xo: Yes BW you were part inspiration for This thread.
I believe that healing from the effects of them is just as hard as dealing with them.
It's the waiting to see what is next from them is the hard part...you feel you can't move on as they will come back no matter the avenues you take to block them
He was usually if not full of surprises.Never knew what to expect.He was totally selfish and created a lot of unnecessary drama too.His older sister was narcissistic too so I dealt with a double whammy.I believe that healing from the effects of them is just as hard as dealing with them.
It's the waiting to see what is next from them is the hard part...you feel you can't move on as they will come back no matter the avenues you take to block them
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marlindap: If it is the same person, realize they will never change, and when they tell you they love you, it is out of wanting to control you. Even 12 after we have been apart if he sees me he still tries to tell me he loves me.Someone who loves you will not hurt you on purpose or put you last. The things done to me are very personal so i will not write my experience here, but i do understand the feeling you can never do enough, that you have no value, they tell you you are ugly but will not leave you even when you ask them to.
Yup I can relate to that.....ugly, worthless, won't leave you alone, they are better than you....speak to you as if your a child and they are master.There should be an island for these people.
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To DeeDee:
I have no doubt, you don't need any assistance on the matter :D
I have no doubt, you don't need any assistance on the matter :D
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Created: Nov 2018
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But how many have dated and survived dating a narcissistic man/woman.
What was your experience should you choose to share.
I dated one briefly in 2016.
Then went on to be sucked in time after time since....'hoovering' is the term used when they use pity and manipulation to get you to go back to them.
How have you managed to break free from this type of personality and are you always looking over your shoulder for when they inevitably come back.