I was never going to marry. Ended up doing it. 9 years in he wanted out so he could go play and have no responsibilities. We married out of high school. I grew up, he didn't. I kept saying I am doomed. He said no you aren't. We went through a year of UN engagement. Stayed friends and divided up stuff sanely. He was right. I remarried to an even better man. 31 years til he died. Now I am bonded to a guy better again. The hurts are buried by the good things. The issue is if you have a bad relationship, figure out what is the issue and don't pick the same type. I say no divorce is he or she did or didn't. Marriage is a two cylinder engine. One piston goes up, the other goes down. Both work together. If one is flawed, it is doomed to blow up. The saying is it takes two to tangle. One feeds the other. No one never does and no one always does. My divorce was both of us not being a smooth running engine anymore. He did, I did, he did because I did and I did because he did. It's called reciprocation. We all have flaws and quirks and habits. Don't think it wont matter later on. Accept or move on. There was a cartoon. Old couple sitting at table, she watching him buttering his toast. Suddenly she leaps up..I can't stand it anymore! He is flummoxed. WHAT!? She said I can't stand how you butter toast, scrape scrape scrape. Just BUTTER it already. He says, but that's the way I have done it our whole marriage. Why didn't you say something years ago. She says, cause it didn't bother me til today.
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Hurt through disregard, snide remarks, accidental and obvious malice.
Will you really try again?
Go through the same pain, brain freeze, and eventual recovery,
to end up in the same state again, for the n'th time!