true feelings about pets... ( Archived) (57)

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,


The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish,
nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed.
I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue
sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut,
it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob
or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open.
I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message
on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids cuz they:

1. Eat less

2. Don't ask for money all the time

3 Are easier to train

4. Normally come when called

5. Never ask to drive the car

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't want to wear your clothes

10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.

And finally,

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

Think she's talking to me.

indeed
you and myself as well


pets are the best

sorry folks

ive got a cat and dog almost 15 yrs old
theyve seen it all and still love me

this is why theyre referred to as dumb animals i guess
cuz they arent mute-

P.S. - I miss my cat.

Good stuff...



Thanks

I dont think animals are dumb after all they do love....some people cant even do that..and they are much kinder and compassionate as well as affectionate than many humans I have met.......my dog is 7 yrs , my cat is 10 yrs and my bird is 14yrs...they are most comforting to me during times of sadness as well ...it's like they just know you are depressed....I love with all my heart ....well the bird doesnt show much but his singing says a lot

get another one?

i cant go w/o

thot i was gonna have to put my old lady down (almost 15 but youd never know it)
when i was in chicago last week

turns out she has skin cancer and itll happen when it happens-maybe 6 months?

we all die of something
but i will really be out of sorts w/o her-she is very bossy-lol

it was meant as humor-
as dumb is euphemism for mute