It's a learning curve on the forums. (100)
Rickster: I agree. That’s why I think it’s a very good idea to research their threads. Look for any unusual patterns in their response to other members. This way, you will have a glimpse of who these people are. It takes time to know someone.
There’s this old saying, “fake it till you make it”. I don’t think that always applies here on C.S. Eventually, the truth will come out. Just like in the real world. It’s just a matter of time.
There’s this old saying, “fake it till you make it”. I don’t think that always applies here on C.S. Eventually, the truth will come out. Just like in the real world. It’s just a matter of time.
A lot of what has been written in this thread echoes my own thoughts and feelings. People do develop patterns that reveal their underlying attitudes, it takes time usually for the 'real voice' to start sounding.
I too have had it go both ways, people who made a negative early impression on me mellow somewhat and vice versa. Of course, it will take a RL meeting to really get to know someone.
Here, in the absence of expression and body language, we read everything in our own tone of voice, with our own emphases and interpretations which can skew a comment 180 degrees from its intended direction.
Interesting thread.
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bajanblue: A lot of what has been written in this thread echoes my own thoughts and feelings. People do develop patterns that reveal their underlying attitudes, it takes time usually for the 'real voice' to start sounding.
I too have had it go both ways, people who made a negative early impression on me mellow somewhat and vice versa. Of course, it will take a RL meeting to really get to know someone.
Here, in the absence of expression and body language, we read everything in our own tone of voice, with our own emphases and interpretations which can skew a comment 180 degrees from its intended direction.
Interesting thread.
I too have had it go both ways, people who made a negative early impression on me mellow somewhat and vice versa. Of course, it will take a RL meeting to really get to know someone.
Here, in the absence of expression and body language, we read everything in our own tone of voice, with our own emphases and interpretations which can skew a comment 180 degrees from its intended direction.
Interesting thread.
Exactly, and I know that comments I've made have occasionally been misinterpreted. I also use the EU forum and with the wide range of nationalities and cultures there are bound to be misunderstandings at times. However, this is not the same as those who do seem to put forward this false image of themselves.It all makes me a little wary and my usual trusting nature doesn't seem to be serving me well here as it does in real life. I agree that the absence of body language doesn't help as you say, making the process of getting to know somebody much more difficult and lengthier.
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Jan1305: Not so much academically but the process of knowing people.
I've been here on and off for a couple of years and don't log on regularly but it amazes me that people who I initially warm to, change over a period of time before my very eyes and I end up feeling that I actually don't like that person very much anymore.
Actually I don't believe they change, but their true colours triumph perhaps in one short post and I feel that I can't be bothered to respond to their posts/threads anymore.
Like real life I suppose, but it takes a little longer and more insight to perceive it behind a computer screen, although I have to say that the reverse happens with me too, some people who I find a little obnoxious initially I have grown to like and respect despite our differences.
I've been here on and off for a couple of years and don't log on regularly but it amazes me that people who I initially warm to, change over a period of time before my very eyes and I end up feeling that I actually don't like that person very much anymore.
Actually I don't believe they change, but their true colours triumph perhaps in one short post and I feel that I can't be bothered to respond to their posts/threads anymore.
Like real life I suppose, but it takes a little longer and more insight to perceive it behind a computer screen, although I have to say that the reverse happens with me too, some people who I find a little obnoxious initially I have grown to like and respect despite our differences.
Really Jan, and I speak from experience here, what we see on display of peoples true nature on these here forums in a fraction of that persons true being, further distorted due to the limited nature of e-communication.
I would venture to suggest that if you met many of the people you've taken a dislike to in real life, things would be very different.
Guageing somebodies persona accurately involves far more than perusing even a multitude of forum comments and a few e-mails.
Remember, around 70% of communication is non-verbal!
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Jan1305: Not so much academically but the process of knowing people.
I've been here on and off for a couple of years and don't log on regularly but it amazes me that people who I initially warm to, change over a period of time before my very eyes and I end up feeling that I actually don't like that person very much anymore.
Actually I don't believe they change, but their true colours triumph perhaps in one short post and I feel that I can't be bothered to respond to their posts/threads anymore.
Like real life I suppose, but it takes a little longer and more insight to perceive it behind a computer screen, although I have to say that the reverse happens with me too, some people who I find a little obnoxious initially I have grown to like and respect despite our differences.
I've been here on and off for a couple of years and don't log on regularly but it amazes me that people who I initially warm to, change over a period of time before my very eyes and I end up feeling that I actually don't like that person very much anymore.
Actually I don't believe they change, but their true colours triumph perhaps in one short post and I feel that I can't be bothered to respond to their posts/threads anymore.
Like real life I suppose, but it takes a little longer and more insight to perceive it behind a computer screen, although I have to say that the reverse happens with me too, some people who I find a little obnoxious initially I have grown to like and respect despite our differences.
I agree, with you...but it does take reading a lot of posts in a lot of different threads!
Using myself as an example... most of the time I think I'm considerate of other peoples points of view and am able to discuss things in a reasonable way, and I enjoy some of the funny and silly conversations as well...but I can become a real b*tch if I think someone has attacked me and not my views. Anyone reading one particular series of posts between myself and another individual can attest to the fact that I can be pretty nasty, but I would hate to think that I was being judged on that one interaction.
Many people in real life and online say things they think you want to hear in order to be accepted or liked and it takes a while before you get past that and start to see them for what they really are. Personally I don't understand that, why would you want to attract a person who likes you for what you are not??? It's only by being yourself that you find the people who like you for who you truly are.
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Also, some people are different in different threads....not out of deception but out of relaxation. You can be deadly serious and hard-headed in one and then frivolous in another without being untrue to yourself.
My major discovery (as of 10 seconds ago) is that Jan and JBibiza are not the same person!!! Sorry ladies!!
My major discovery (as of 10 seconds ago) is that Jan and JBibiza are not the same person!!! Sorry ladies!!
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It's a curve alright, a bell curve comes to mind.
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Fallingman:
My major discovery (as of 10 seconds ago) is that Jan and JBibiza are not the same person!!! Sorry ladies!!
My major discovery (as of 10 seconds ago) is that Jan and JBibiza are not the same person!!! Sorry ladies!!
How can Jan and I be the same when you and I are the same? 
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Not so much academically but the process of knowing people.
I've been here on and off for a couple of years and don't log on regularly but it amazes me that people who I initially warm to, change over a period of time before my very eyes and I end up feeling that I actually don't like that person very much anymore.quote]
Salesperson, management, CEO's will change their approach and presentation if not getting the desired results.that does not mean the product itself is not of good quality. we all want a certain type of response or person to reply to our words.
I myself have changed what and how I post.I used to do the jokes and poetry. even attempted to try o show my opinions, and yes intellect,and compassion.
In essence we are all multi-facted. Most everyone I think will agree, how we form our sentences and how we express ourselves with the written word is different,then when we verbally express ourselves.
I'm not here to be liked by many, just a few. Maybei n time, if luck and cupid is close by... narrow it down to one.
In the beginnig I thoughtit would be easy to find someone who would find me as worthy of their attention as I find them... hows that for being a simpleton with an ego?
Admittedly I thought it was gonna be easy
I'm much better now
I've been here on and off for a couple of years and don't log on regularly but it amazes me that people who I initially warm to, change over a period of time before my very eyes and I end up feeling that I actually don't like that person very much anymore.quote]
Salesperson, management, CEO's will change their approach and presentation if not getting the desired results.that does not mean the product itself is not of good quality. we all want a certain type of response or person to reply to our words.
I myself have changed what and how I post.I used to do the jokes and poetry. even attempted to try o show my opinions, and yes intellect,and compassion.
In essence we are all multi-facted. Most everyone I think will agree, how we form our sentences and how we express ourselves with the written word is different,then when we verbally express ourselves.
I'm not here to be liked by many, just a few. Maybei n time, if luck and cupid is close by... narrow it down to one.
In the beginnig I thoughtit would be easy to find someone who would find me as worthy of their attention as I find them... hows that for being a simpleton with an ego?
Admittedly I thought it was gonna be easy
I'm much better now
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Fallingman: Also, some people are different in different threads....not out of deception but out of relaxation. You can be deadly serious and hard-headed in one and then frivolous in another without being untrue to yourself.
My major discovery (as of 10 seconds ago) is that Jan and JBibiza are not the same person!!! Sorry ladies!!
My major discovery (as of 10 seconds ago) is that Jan and JBibiza are not the same person!!! Sorry ladies!!
Well we do both live in Spain, maybe that aroused your suspicions!
But you are right, it does depend on the thread, but that's because each topic calls for different reactions and contributions. This of course does not prove that somebody is presenting a false image. as fireliter said we are multi-faceted and we write to suit the topic, just as in real life we behave to suit the occasion. This is not being untrue to oneself, but respecting certain codes of conduct that we've hopefully been brought up to respect.
It's good to see that many can participate in a serious thread then switch to comic mode for a joke thread but that's not really what I'm talking about here.
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I was thinking Jan.. unlike real life .. as u said where we choose whom to spend time with.. here we get to see and know a bit of everyone .. so the assessment is more broad and the
observations will definitely give variety of results.. shocking ones included
observations will definitely give variety of results.. shocking ones included
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fireliter: Not so much academically but the process of knowing people.
I've been here on and off for a couple of years and don't log on regularly but it amazes me that people who I initially warm to, change over a period of time before my very eyes and I end up feeling that I actually don't like that person very much anymore.quote]
Salesperson, management, CEO's will change their approach and presentation if not getting the desired results.that does not mean the product itself is not of good quality. we all want a certain type of response or person to reply to our words.
I myself have changed what and how I post.I used to do the jokes and poetry. even attempted to try o show my opinions, and yes intellect,and compassion.
In essence we are all multi-facted. Most everyone I think will agree, how we form our sentences and how we express ourselves with the written word is different,then when we verbally express ourselves.
I'm not here to be liked by many, just a few. Maybei n time, if luck and cupid is close by... narrow it down to one.
In the beginnig I thoughtit would be easy to find someone who would find me as worthy of their attention as I find them... hows that for being a simpleton with an ego?
Admittedly I thought it was gonna be easy
I'm much better now
I've been here on and off for a couple of years and don't log on regularly but it amazes me that people who I initially warm to, change over a period of time before my very eyes and I end up feeling that I actually don't like that person very much anymore.quote]
Salesperson, management, CEO's will change their approach and presentation if not getting the desired results.that does not mean the product itself is not of good quality. we all want a certain type of response or person to reply to our words.
I myself have changed what and how I post.I used to do the jokes and poetry. even attempted to try o show my opinions, and yes intellect,and compassion.
In essence we are all multi-facted. Most everyone I think will agree, how we form our sentences and how we express ourselves with the written word is different,then when we verbally express ourselves.
I'm not here to be liked by many, just a few. Maybei n time, if luck and cupid is close by... narrow it down to one.
In the beginnig I thoughtit would be easy to find someone who would find me as worthy of their attention as I find them... hows that for being a simpleton with an ego?
Admittedly I thought it was gonna be easy
I'm much better now
It all comes down to what you are really looking for eventually. And you have to be honest with yourself on this one, its no easy thing to do--> the honesty in front of the mirror that is.
If you are looking for a soul mate, a long term relationship anyway, then you have to be honest with yourself about it and realise what it entails: You ought to be here and behave/express/present at all times who you are, else you are going to pay for the misspresentation you have been selling in due time. I mean, if you find yourself in situations where you like "that" girl and you change some of your manners to appear more interesting up to her standards then you are already making a huge mistake wich you are going to pay in the future. By being who you really are at all times is the only way to find a person that really fits with you. And if who you are is poetry and jokes, by all means, keep it up because its beautifull and most importandly: You are not fooling anyone by being yourself.
I know that i am all poetry and jokes around EU forums mostly and i know that i scared away some really good looking girls while doing that. I am not sorry as i very well believe that what i have scared away was the wrong type of girls. And had i presented a more "suiting" personality, that might have gotten me the initial attention and maybe the date but not the relationship i am looking for. Of course, time in front of the mirror i have spend plentifull, and riches i have gained...
in overall, i liked what you said there in your post
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Manolito:
It all comes down to what you are really looking for eventually. And you have to be honest with yourself on this one, its no easy thing to do--> the honesty in front of the mirror that is.
If you are looking for a soul mate, a long term relationship anyway, then you have to be honest with yourself about it and realise what it entails: You ought to be here and behave/express/present at all times who you are, else you are going to pay for the misspresentation you have been selling in due time. I mean, if you find yourself in situations where you like "that" girl and you change some of your manners to appear more interesting up to her standards then you are already making a huge mistake wich you are going to pay in the future. By being who you really are at all times is the only way to find a person that really fits with you. And if who you are is poetry and jokes, by all means, keep it up because its beautifull and most importandly: You are not fooling anyone by being yourself.
I know that i am all poetry and jokes around EU forums mostly and i know that i scared away some really good looking girls while doing that. I am not sorry as i very well believe that what i have scared away was the wrong type of girls. And had i presented a more "suiting" personality, that might have gotten me the initial attention and maybe the date but not the relationship i am looking for. Of course, time in front of the mirror i have spend plentifull, and riches i have gained...
in overall, i liked what you said there in your post
It all comes down to what you are really looking for eventually. And you have to be honest with yourself on this one, its no easy thing to do--> the honesty in front of the mirror that is.
If you are looking for a soul mate, a long term relationship anyway, then you have to be honest with yourself about it and realise what it entails: You ought to be here and behave/express/present at all times who you are, else you are going to pay for the misspresentation you have been selling in due time. I mean, if you find yourself in situations where you like "that" girl and you change some of your manners to appear more interesting up to her standards then you are already making a huge mistake wich you are going to pay in the future. By being who you really are at all times is the only way to find a person that really fits with you. And if who you are is poetry and jokes, by all means, keep it up because its beautifull and most importandly: You are not fooling anyone by being yourself.
I know that i am all poetry and jokes around EU forums mostly and i know that i scared away some really good looking girls while doing that. I am not sorry as i very well believe that what i have scared away was the wrong type of girls. And had i presented a more "suiting" personality, that might have gotten me the initial attention and maybe the date but not the relationship i am looking for. Of course, time in front of the mirror i have spend plentifull, and riches i have gained...
in overall, i liked what you said there in your post
Great post Manolito
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Jan1305:
Great post Manolito
Great post Manolito
Great Thread Jan
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Nice thread Jan!
We've had our differences before but i can honestly say i do feel regretful i have previously misjudged you. Why? Because you are indeed smart, and mature.!!!
We've had our differences before but i can honestly say i do feel regretful i have previously misjudged you. Why? Because you are indeed smart, and mature.!!!
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lusciousmile: Nice thread Jan!
We've had our differences before but i can honestly say i do feel regretful i have previously misjudged you. Why? Because you are indeed smart, and mature.!!!
We've had our differences before but i can honestly say i do feel regretful i have previously misjudged you. Why? Because you are indeed smart, and mature.!!!
thats so coollll ....
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lusciousmile: Nice thread Jan!
We've had our differences before but i can honestly say i do feel regretful i have previously misjudged you. Why? Because you are indeed smart, and mature.!!!
We've had our differences before but i can honestly say i do feel regretful i have previously misjudged you. Why? Because you are indeed smart, and mature.!!!
Well thanks lusciousmile, and to be able to say that illustrates just how mature you are. Smart too!
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riyablossom: thats so coollll ....
I'm not even ashamed to say it!
I have in the past taken disagreements for what they weren't. I have disagreed with a few people who've risen from it which only proved me wrong of what i initially thought of them!!!
I'm young and constantly feel i need to defend myself or rebel sometimes but adults like you, Mindful, Baldguy and Koni make that impossible because you are above that nonsense!!! You can make a valid opinion in a suave manner even after an argument.....which leaves me no choice but to reciprocate.
Disagreement aren't always out of malice and i do see that now!!!!
The real malicious ones never change
and i'm glad i can see that too. I am younger than most people here and i' m glad i can learn from the real adults here.
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lusciousmile: I'm not even ashamed to say it!
I have in the past taken disagreements for what they weren't. I have disagreed with a few people who've risen from it which only proved me wrong of what i initially thought of them!!!
I'm young and constantly feel i need to defend myself or rebel sometimes but adults like you, Mindful, Baldguy and Koni make that impossible because you are above that nonsense!!! You can make a valid opinion in a suave manner even after an argument.....which leaves me no choice but to reciprocate.
Disagreement aren't always out of malice and i do see that now!!!!The real malicious ones never change and i'm glad i can see that too. I am younger than most people here and i' m glad i can learn from the real adults here.
I have in the past taken disagreements for what they weren't. I have disagreed with a few people who've risen from it which only proved me wrong of what i initially thought of them!!!
I'm young and constantly feel i need to defend myself or rebel sometimes but adults like you, Mindful, Baldguy and Koni make that impossible because you are above that nonsense!!! You can make a valid opinion in a suave manner even after an argument.....which leaves me no choice but to reciprocate.
Disagreement aren't always out of malice and i do see that now!!!!The real malicious ones never change and i'm glad i can see that too. I am younger than most people here and i' m glad i can learn from the real adults here.
cooollll .....
but that makes me feel soo old. ....ohh you owe me chock enough to shake off those wrinkles now !!!
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In the end if you put enough of yourself out there in the forum or elsewhere....people will see what you are really like. A few words don't tell you much but a lot of words over months are revealing.
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There’s this old saying, “fake it till you make it”. I don’t think that always applies here on C.S. Eventually, the truth will come out. Just like in the real world. It’s just a matter of time.
Ah well, good luck to them trying to make sense of my posts, just hope they don't end up too