Can a woman really forget? (24)
antcus: Can a woman really forget her ex when dancing cheek to cheek to the same tune with her new boyfriend?
What influence do those thoughts, those beautiful memories that she has in her baggage, have on her new relationship?
When she hears a song, dances to the music or goes to a familiar place, what sort of emotions do these things conjure in her?. Are these not counterproductive to her new relationship?
How should a man react if he were to know that whatever he is trying to do to be romantic and loved, his girlfriend has already been there, done this and that with somebody else? And that she is just re-living those moments again through him and with him?
What influence do those thoughts, those beautiful memories that she has in her baggage, have on her new relationship?
When she hears a song, dances to the music or goes to a familiar place, what sort of emotions do these things conjure in her?. Are these not counterproductive to her new relationship?
How should a man react if he were to know that whatever he is trying to do to be romantic and loved, his girlfriend has already been there, done this and that with somebody else? And that she is just re-living those moments again through him and with him?
I don't believe this is true unless you have not truly accepted and are happy with being single again.
A new partner is exactly that, new and exciting.
Of course things like a song or a familiar place, as you have mentioned, may trigger memories, but if you are ready to move on they should not have a negative bearing on a new relationship.
Jan1305: I don't believe this is true unless you have not truly accepted and are happy with being single again.
A new partner is exactly that, new and exciting.
Of course things like a song or a familiar place, as you have mentioned, may trigger memories, but if you are ready to move on they should not have a negative bearing on a new relationship.
A new partner is exactly that, new and exciting.
Of course things like a song or a familiar place, as you have mentioned, may trigger memories, but if you are ready to move on they should not have a negative bearing on a new relationship.
And if the woman had to remark that the last time she heard that tune she danced it with Jack, and the last time she ate at that restaurant she was with Joe, and the last time she went to X place she was with Y????
antcus: And if the woman had to remark that the last time she heard that tune she danced it with Jack, and the last time she ate at that restaurant she was with Joe, and the last time she went to X place she was with Y????
Well that is very rude and something I would never do.....even if I was thinking it!
It could mean she isn't truly happy in your company having not let go of the past, perhaps trying to make you jealous, or simply that she is insensitive!
Jan1305: Well that is very rude and something I would never do.....even if I was thinking it!
It could mean she isn't truly happy in your company having not let go of the past, perhaps trying to make you jealous, or simply that she is insensitive!
It could mean she isn't truly happy in your company having not let go of the past, perhaps trying to make you jealous, or simply that she is insensitive!
You made a very important point here Jan. You said even if she did, she should not have said so.
Well many do not. But are they thinking the same things?
The thread asked if a woman could really forget. What importance do these past experiences have on her present? Can she really free herself from these memories, and if she does, does this mean that her ex great loves are that easy to forget?
As I see it it is a double sided sword!! Very interesting topic. Hope more women join in to give their opinion.
I can only speak for myself on this one as I'm sure everyone's experience is different. If I'm somewhere with someone new, I'm there because I've let go of the past. Letting go of the past though, doesn't mean letting go of memories - how do you forget someone who was special to you at some point in your life? They are engraved in my mind and are part of who I am in some way.
Every person that has been in my life has some special place and I'll never forget, but once I've moved on, it's with the hope that I'll create new memories with a new man, not relive the old ones! My experience with a new person will never be the same as with an ex in the past. He's a different person.
Truthfully, if I'm dancing cheek to cheek with a new guy and thinking of an ex, I probably shouldn't be with the new one. But, that's just me maybe? Would I freely share the memory everytime it pops into my head? Nope, that's just insensitive - if it's still that vivid a memory that I'd subject him to that, I'd probably suggest we go somewhere else instead!
And that's my two cents!
Every person that has been in my life has some special place and I'll never forget, but once I've moved on, it's with the hope that I'll create new memories with a new man, not relive the old ones! My experience with a new person will never be the same as with an ex in the past. He's a different person.
Truthfully, if I'm dancing cheek to cheek with a new guy and thinking of an ex, I probably shouldn't be with the new one. But, that's just me maybe? Would I freely share the memory everytime it pops into my head? Nope, that's just insensitive - if it's still that vivid a memory that I'd subject him to that, I'd probably suggest we go somewhere else instead!
And that's my two cents!
No,because ur past relationship is that who define who and what u r,it is those memories and special times that u sometime relived,"and i know that is true because u cant just shut it away"that make u want to try and be more open in ur next relationship,but if she truely is'nt ready than she should not go out with men who want more from her then she is ready to give,cause if she do that than she is'nt just hurting the next person she also set her up 4 failiar in any kind of relationship.But boy let me tell u this if i were a man and my girl thinking of somebody els while she is with me, than she had another thing coming,there is no excuse 4 incensitivety.
antcus: And if the woman had to remark that the last time she heard that tune she danced it with Jack, and the last time she ate at that restaurant she was with Joe, and the last time she went to X place she was with Y????
Then I'd say that you were truly Up that Proverbial Creek without a Paddle!
Tapestry: I can only speak for myself on this one as I'm sure everyone's experience is different. If I'm somewhere with someone new, I'm there because I've let go of the past. Letting go of the past though, doesn't mean letting go of memories - how do you forget someone who was special to you at some point in your life? They are engraved in my mind and are part of who I am in some way.
Every person that has been in my life has some special place and I'll never forget, but once I've moved on, it's with the hope that I'll create new memories with a new man, not relive the old ones! My experience with a new person will never be the same as with an ex in the past. He's a different person.
Truthfully, if I'm dancing cheek to cheek with a new guy and thinking of an ex, I probably shouldn't be with the new one. But, that's just me maybe? Would I freely share the memory everytime it pops into my head? Nope, that's just insensitive - if it's still that vivid a memory that I'd subject him to that, I'd probably suggest we go somewhere else instead!
And that's my two cents!
Every person that has been in my life has some special place and I'll never forget, but once I've moved on, it's with the hope that I'll create new memories with a new man, not relive the old ones! My experience with a new person will never be the same as with an ex in the past. He's a different person.
Truthfully, if I'm dancing cheek to cheek with a new guy and thinking of an ex, I probably shouldn't be with the new one. But, that's just me maybe? Would I freely share the memory everytime it pops into my head? Nope, that's just insensitive - if it's still that vivid a memory that I'd subject him to that, I'd probably suggest we go somewhere else instead!
And that's my two cents!
I agree 100%, could not have expressed it better myself!
My two cents: most women will never forget if they were hurt in some way, even it happened by chance and the relationship turned out to be perfect later. A woman may understand and forgive, but not forget.
Conrad73: Then I'd say that you were truly Up that Proverbial Creek without a Paddle!
The absolute and only way to make sure your partner is never ever thinking about anyone else at any given moment is this ................
.....Go find an orphan to adopt, rear them in isolation, monitor their every moment - what they see, hear, do. Then when they`ve grown up, and mature, you have yourself a Perfect Mate. They will never ever have a thought that you do not know about.... maybe.
Tapestry: I can only speak for myself on this one as I'm sure everyone's experience is different. If I'm somewhere with someone new, I'm there because I've let go of the past. Letting go of the past though, doesn't mean letting go of memories - how do you forget someone who was special to you at some point in your life? They are engraved in my mind and are part of who I am in some way.
Every person that has been in my life has some special place and I'll never forget, but once I've moved on, it's with the hope that I'll create new memories with a new man, not relive the old ones! My experience with a new person will never be the same as with an ex in the past. He's a different person.
Truthfully, if I'm dancing cheek to cheek with a new guy and thinking of an ex, I probably shouldn't be with the new one. But, that's just me maybe? Would I freely share the memory everytime it pops into my head? Nope, that's just insensitive - if it's still that vivid a memory that I'd subject him to that, I'd probably suggest we go somewhere else instead!
And that's my two cents!
Every person that has been in my life has some special place and I'll never forget, but once I've moved on, it's with the hope that I'll create new memories with a new man, not relive the old ones! My experience with a new person will never be the same as with an ex in the past. He's a different person.
Truthfully, if I'm dancing cheek to cheek with a new guy and thinking of an ex, I probably shouldn't be with the new one. But, that's just me maybe? Would I freely share the memory everytime it pops into my head? Nope, that's just insensitive - if it's still that vivid a memory that I'd subject him to that, I'd probably suggest we go somewhere else instead!
And that's my two cents!
This is the nearest opinion to mine so far, but I have to add that although comparisons are odious, I still think that the subconscious in us often surfaces them to the conscious, to allow us to judge if we have been better off then, or are better off now.
smoky: The absolute and only way to make sure your partner is never ever thinking about anyone else at any given moment is this ................
.....Go find an orphan to adopt, rear them in isolation, monitor their every moment - what they see, hear, do. Then when they`ve grown up, and mature, you have yourself a Perfect Mate. They will never ever have a thought that you do not know about.... maybe.
.....Go find an orphan to adopt, rear them in isolation, monitor their every moment - what they see, hear, do. Then when they`ve grown up, and mature, you have yourself a Perfect Mate. They will never ever have a thought that you do not know about.... maybe.
You mean something like "Daddy Long-Legs" by Jean Webster
We close a chapter and start a new one-we should not take pieces of a partnership which is over with us.Maybe we cannot really avoid having memories, but we can bury them deep inside, so that they won't disturb a new realtionship.Its not fair for the new partner to feel that we are not "with him" but our mind is with somebody else.
antcus: Can a woman really forget her ex when dancing cheek to cheek to the same tune with her new boyfriend?
What influence do those thoughts, those beautiful memories that she has in her baggage, have on her new relationship?
When she hears a song, dances to the music or goes to a familiar place, what sort of emotions do these things conjure in her?. Are these not counterproductive to her new relationship?
How should a man react if he were to know that whatever he is trying to do to be romantic and loved, his girlfriend has already been there, done this and that with somebody else? And that she is just re-living those moments again through him and with him?
What influence do those thoughts, those beautiful memories that she has in her baggage, have on her new relationship?
When she hears a song, dances to the music or goes to a familiar place, what sort of emotions do these things conjure in her?. Are these not counterproductive to her new relationship?
How should a man react if he were to know that whatever he is trying to do to be romantic and loved, his girlfriend has already been there, done this and that with somebody else? And that she is just re-living those moments again through him and with him?
antcus: This is the nearest opinion to mine so far, but I have to add that although comparisons are odious, I still think that the subconscious in us often surfaces them to the conscious, to allow us to judge if we have been better off then, or are better off now.
Everyone that crosses my path of life, romantic or otherwise, has something to offer and is different than any other. Every memory and experience makes my life better. In some twisted way, even the not-so-good memories have a purpose!
I see every person that has come into my life as different and neither better or worse than another. Just different.
Having said that, I can say from personal experience, that the toughest memories to store away properly are those where the break-up wasn't relationship based, but just life's circumstances. Again though, I wouldn't move on to another relationship until I was certain that those bags were unpacked and put away to prepare for the next voyage!
Is that four cents now?
Good thread, by the way, Antcus!
antcus: what sort of emotions do these things conjure in her?. Are these not counterproductive to her new relationship?
Not at all!!!! I can only speak for myself, but, wow.... Of course not... Silly comparison but it's a bit like with eating, sure you remember what you ate yesterday, but it's not like you stop eating just because you already know how things taste ("been there done that")? And you do savour it again instead of re-living it? No baggage here for sure, I've learned from the mistakes of the past and, having drawn my conclusions, have completely moved on... Sure, certain songs and stuff from the past do bring back memories, but they are just that, memories, part of our lives and who we are....
AudrysSis: Not at all!!!! I can only speak for myself, but, wow.... Of course not... Silly comparison but it's a bit like with eating, sure you remember what you ate yesterday, but it's not like you stop eating just because you already know how things taste ("been there done that")? And you do savour it again instead of re-living it?
No baggage here for sure, I've learned from the mistakes of the past and, having drawn my conclusions, have completely moved on... Sure, certain songs and stuff from the past do bring back memories, but they are just that, memories, part of our lives and who we are....
No baggage here for sure, I've learned from the mistakes of the past and, having drawn my conclusions, have completely moved on... Sure, certain songs and stuff from the past do bring back memories, but they are just that, memories, part of our lives and who we are....
PERFECT ANSWER! That is IT! In a nutshell.
Thanks, Smokes.... (one of my puppies was called Smoky also)
And I'm going to really flood this topic (I am sorry!!!), but I just wanted to add that if the lady does keep bringing up her ex partners and what she did with them here and there etc, then if it was me I'd say I don't consider the new guy anything more than just a friend, so I can allow myself to dive into memories and share them with him freely. If, on the contrary, I am truly interested in the person, I want to talk about them and find out more about them, not talk about any past guys.
(I am sorry!!!), but I just wanted to add that if the lady does keep bringing up her ex partners and what she did with them here and there etc, then if it was me I'd say I don't consider the new guy anything more than just a friend, so I can allow myself to dive into memories and share them with him freely. If, on the contrary, I am truly interested in the person, I want to talk about them and find out more about them, not talk about any past guys.Tapestry: Everyone that crosses my path of life, romantic or otherwise, has something to offer and is different than any other. Every memory and experience makes my life better. In some twisted way, even the not-so-good memories have a purpose!
I see every person that has come into my life as different and neither better or worse than another. Just different.
Having said that, I can say from personal experience, that the toughest memories to store away properly are those where the break-up wasn't relationship based, but just life's circumstances. Again though, I wouldn't move on to another relationship until I was certain that those bags were unpacked and put away to prepare for the next voyage!
Is that four cents now?
Good thread, by the way, Antcus!
I see every person that has come into my life as different and neither better or worse than another. Just different.
Having said that, I can say from personal experience, that the toughest memories to store away properly are those where the break-up wasn't relationship based, but just life's circumstances. Again though, I wouldn't move on to another relationship until I was certain that those bags were unpacked and put away to prepare for the next voyage!
Is that four cents now?
Good thread, by the way, Antcus!
Thank you. It was about time somebody thought it was a good thread. !!!
antcus: Thank you. It was about time somebody thought it was a good thread. !!!
Antcus, i think all the ladies collectively answered your question so far: The future of the relationship is not depended of how the previous ones were, rather from the quality of the relationship itself. Give the woman what she needs (spiritually, emotionally, physically) and the ex's are what the are: Ex's
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What influence do those thoughts, those beautiful memories that she has in her baggage, have on her new relationship?
When she hears a song, dances to the music or goes to a familiar place, what sort of emotions do these things conjure in her?. Are these not counterproductive to her new relationship?
How should a man react if he were to know that whatever he is trying to do to be romantic and loved, his girlfriend has already been there, done this and that with somebody else? And that she is just re-living those moments again through him and with him?