Can men and woman really just be friends? (91)
kidatheart: If they express and interest and you say no, then if they are willing to accept that and just be friends, would you, or could you trust that they will in fact honour that?
Would you always be suspicious or feel uncomfortable knowing that they saw something in you that they were attracted to?
Would you always be suspicious or feel uncomfortable knowing that they saw something in you that they were attracted to?
They have always been willing to accept that I don't want to be boyfriend/girlfriend, and it has happened only 3 or 4 times btw. My experience with almost any guy I've gotten close to is knowing them first for a while, like in a group of friends, or at school, or work, or something. So any relationship I've ever had didn't start with dating but with getting to know someone casually on an ongoing basis. I don't consider this closeness or friendship, but being acquaintances. When it's been relationships, at some point we start being romantic. With the other situations I'm talking about, I wanted it to be just friends, they wanted more and said so. They were nice guys and 'accepted' my feelings, but I am not comfortable being close to someone who feels that way about me, it is an imbalance, it complicates things. I am sure they would always honor my feelings, because I believe they were nice people. So, if you want to say there is a problem, I guess it is mine. But I don't see it as a problem, I just am comfortable with relationships that are equal, balanced.
------ This thread is Archived ------
kidatheart: I meant people you have just met but I guess it could apply to friends you've had for a while as well.
If that's all it takes to end a friendship, how good of a friendship was it in the first place?
These "rules" about dating and relationships are all a set up to failure as far as I can see. I've never been much for rules as I see every situation being different and can't apply a set of rules to be governed by other than treating others with respect. If they or myself are not interested, then not. Move on, but that doesn't mean the friendship has to be over.
How do you see it as a breach of trust when someone says they like you or would like to be more than friends? If they can accept it and act accordingly, why would you hold that against them?
Maybe it's just me (and some others I know) but I don't get it.
If that's all it takes to end a friendship, how good of a friendship was it in the first place?
These "rules" about dating and relationships are all a set up to failure as far as I can see. I've never been much for rules as I see every situation being different and can't apply a set of rules to be governed by other than treating others with respect. If they or myself are not interested, then not. Move on, but that doesn't mean the friendship has to be over.
How do you see it as a breach of trust when someone says they like you or would like to be more than friends? If they can accept it and act accordingly, why would you hold that against them?
Maybe it's just me (and some others I know) but I don't get it.
It doesn’t mean it’s all that it takes to end a friendship, but it’s changing it into a different type of relationship and we’re talking here male-female frienship.
I wouldn’t continue to have the same easiness around him knowing he would seize any opportunity to win me, when I am not intersted in that.
So, no, I won’t be able to see him as the same friend he was before…in my eyes, I lost a good friend and I gain a ‘regular’ friend. I was not interested in him in a romantic way and he knew that to start with....
It might be a woman thing, that’s how it works for me.
The ‘rules’ are the ones usually this type of relationship comes with – they are not required and depend from person to person. In my experience, usually setting rules/boundries help creating a healthy and truthfull friendship but again, it’s optional, everybody set it up the way they consider it fit.
Now, if during the relation, the feelings start to change and there's an open discussion about that....that's a whoooole different thing; We know where we stand and we can agree on a plan together.
------ This thread is Archived ------
prncss4someone: for me, yes, once I decide a male is a friend, he becomes unf*ckable, no interest in his dangley bits....
This is why guys hate those 6 words:
I only like you as a friend!
------ This thread is Archived ------
bamabulldog08: This is why guys hate those 6 words:I only like you as a friend!
Now I get it!!
------ This thread is Archived ------
bamabulldog08: This is why guys hate those 6 words:I only like you as a friend!
------ This thread is Archived ------
I'd say having an open, uncomplicated friendship would and should include discussion of such feelings if there were any. If it's not the same on the other end, then so be it, move on, but that's no reason to end anything.
No point in having any sort of relations with a person you would consider having as a friend or a partner if you can't discuss things in a rational and open manner. Leaves too much to the imagination and lingering doubts.
If one or the other can't accept the other not feeing the same way if there's an interest in something more than friendship, then there is very little basis for any sort of anything and it may be best to terminate all diplomatic relations.
No point in having any sort of relations with a person you would consider having as a friend or a partner if you can't discuss things in a rational and open manner. Leaves too much to the imagination and lingering doubts.
If one or the other can't accept the other not feeing the same way if there's an interest in something more than friendship, then there is very little basis for any sort of anything and it may be best to terminate all diplomatic relations.
------ This thread is Archived ------
kidatheart: I'd say having an open, uncomplicated friendship would and should include discussion of such feelings if there were any. If it's not the same on the other end, then so be it, move on, but that's no reason to end anything.
No point in having any sort of relations with a person you would consider having as a friend or a partner if you can't discuss things in a rational and open manner. Leaves too much to the imagination and lingering doubts.
If one or the other can't accept the other not feeing the same way if there's an interest in something more than friendship, then there is very little basis for any sort of anything and it may be best to terminate all diplomatic relations.
No point in having any sort of relations with a person you would consider having as a friend or a partner if you can't discuss things in a rational and open manner. Leaves too much to the imagination and lingering doubts.
If one or the other can't accept the other not feeing the same way if there's an interest in something more than friendship, then there is very little basis for any sort of anything and it may be best to terminate all diplomatic relations.
------ This thread is Archived ------
kidatheart: I'd say having an open, uncomplicated friendship would and should include discussion of such feelings if there were any. If it's not the same on the other end, then so be it, move on, but that's no reason to end anything.
No point in having any sort of relations with a person you would consider having as a friend or a partner if you can't discuss things in a rational and open manner. Leaves too much to the imagination and lingering doubts.
If one or the other can't accept the other not feeing the same way if there's an interest in something more than friendship, then there is very little basis for any sort of anything and it may be best to terminate all diplomatic relations.
No point in having any sort of relations with a person you would consider having as a friend or a partner if you can't discuss things in a rational and open manner. Leaves too much to the imagination and lingering doubts.
If one or the other can't accept the other not feeing the same way if there's an interest in something more than friendship, then there is very little basis for any sort of anything and it may be best to terminate all diplomatic relations.
i mean i never asked any guy about how he felt if it was the woman who was attracted and he was not cause I didn't know any guy in that situation--the circumstance has only been related to me by the woman...
------ This thread is Archived ------
Portiea: i mean i never asked any guy about how he felt if it was the woman who was attracted and he was not cause I didn't know any guy in that situation--the circumstance has only been related to me by the woman...
One woman I hung around with for a couple of years and then a lot for about six months and did develop feelings for and told her. She didn't feel the same way or at least said she didn't and from there on gave me the cold shoulder for a few months, until one day she said she wanted to talk to me.
She said she did kinda feel the same way but was worried about ruining our friendship and that I was one of the best friends she ever had.
The fact that I got the cold shoulder for months had a serious and detrimental effect on our friendship, not the fact that she said no!
Anyway, we're still friends and I still care about her but I can't see myself dating someone that treated me that way!
The other side is a friend I've had for almost 30 years and have spent a lot of time with since high school. We never dated but did do a lot of things together over the years. We've always had a very good line of communication and have never really had any difficulties in expressing feelings.
She wanted to date and see what would happen but in knowing each other as well as we do, I knew and so did she that we both wanted different things out of life. We talked about it several times and in the end we never did end up dating but our bond became closer than we could have imagined.
I just talked to her last week and her and her boyfriend invited me over for dinner and drinks when I'm in the city.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Damn right they can be just friends.. I have several ladies that I am simply friends with..
Crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe that is because I am old and senile and can't do any harm. But on a positive side, I get to meet them again tomorrow because by then, I will have forgotten who they are..
Crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe that is because I am old and senile and can't do any harm.
But on a positive side, I get to meet them again tomorrow because by then, I will have forgotten who they are..------ This thread is Archived ------
Sure they can.
You know,it's the women in my life, that have taught me, that once in a while.....I'm allowed to have feelings.
Just once in a while.
You know,it's the women in my life, that have taught me, that once in a while.....I'm allowed to have feelings.
Just once in a while.------ This thread is Archived ------
thewall2: Sure they can.
You know,it's the women in my life, that have taught me, that once in a while.....I'm allowed to have feelings. Just once in a while.
You know,it's the women in my life, that have taught me, that once in a while.....I'm allowed to have feelings. Just once in a while.
------ This thread is Archived ------
My friendship is straight forward, and comes with with a money back guarantee that i do not want to adversly affect anyone's life.
The first sign of anyone being disingenuous with me then i just disappear like a puff of smoke.I treat people like i would like to be treated myself.
If advice i have been asked for time and time again, or help is simply forgotton like it wasn't important i do glaze over.Worst thing anyone can do is ask me for a loan and then not repay it! Soon as they ask i feel obliged to help, and then feel embarrased to remind them that they "forgot" to repay the loan.
I don't ask anyone for anything, male or female and maybe lots of people should do the same.Far to many people see "other" people as something to use.
The first sign of anyone being disingenuous with me then i just disappear like a puff of smoke.I treat people like i would like to be treated myself.
If advice i have been asked for time and time again, or help is simply forgotton like it wasn't important i do glaze over.Worst thing anyone can do is ask me for a loan and then not repay it! Soon as they ask i feel obliged to help, and then feel embarrased to remind them that they "forgot" to repay the loan.
I don't ask anyone for anything, male or female and maybe lots of people should do the same.Far to many people see "other" people as something to use.
------ This thread is Archived ------
RobbieM: My friendship is straight forward, and comes with with a money back guarantee that i do not want to adversly affect anyone's life.
The first sign of anyone being disingenuous with me then i just disappear like a puff of smoke.I treat people like i would like to be treated myself.
If advice i have been asked for time and time again, or help is simply forgotton like it wasn't important i do glaze over.Worst thing anyone can do is ask me for a loan and then not repay it! Soon as they ask i feel obliged to help, and then feel embarrased to remind them that they "forgot" to repay the loan.
I don't ask anyone for anything, male or female and maybe lots of people should do the same.Far to many people see "other" people as something to use.
The first sign of anyone being disingenuous with me then i just disappear like a puff of smoke.I treat people like i would like to be treated myself.
If advice i have been asked for time and time again, or help is simply forgotton like it wasn't important i do glaze over.Worst thing anyone can do is ask me for a loan and then not repay it! Soon as they ask i feel obliged to help, and then feel embarrased to remind them that they "forgot" to repay the loan.
I don't ask anyone for anything, male or female and maybe lots of people should do the same.Far to many people see "other" people as something to use.
Awww come on Robbie ask me about something...Lol
Just kidding...
------ This thread is Archived ------
lola36: Awww come on Robbie ask me about something...Lol
Just kidding...
Just kidding...
I need 6 winning lottery numbers, if your inspired please feel free to share
The money would come in real handy as i can then go house hunting next monday.
------ This thread is Archived ------
RobbieM: My friendship is straight forward, and comes with with a money back guarantee that i do not want to adversly affect anyone's life.
The first sign of anyone being disingenuous with me then i just disappear like a puff of smoke.I treat people like i would like to be treated myself.
If advice i have been asked for time and time again, or help is simply forgotton like it wasn't important i do glaze over.Worst thing anyone can do is ask me for a loan and then not repay it! Soon as they ask i feel obliged to help, and then feel embarrased to remind them that they "forgot" to repay the loan.
I don't ask anyone for anything, male or female and maybe lots of people should do the same.Far to many people see "other" people as something to use.
The first sign of anyone being disingenuous with me then i just disappear like a puff of smoke.I treat people like i would like to be treated myself.
If advice i have been asked for time and time again, or help is simply forgotton like it wasn't important i do glaze over.Worst thing anyone can do is ask me for a loan and then not repay it! Soon as they ask i feel obliged to help, and then feel embarrased to remind them that they "forgot" to repay the loan.
I don't ask anyone for anything, male or female and maybe lots of people should do the same.Far to many people see "other" people as something to use.
hi Robbie,
completely agree what your saying about the money thing, i have helped people out and then had to
ask for the money back and i have been the one that felt bad about it, seems like a good way to loose
friends. Hope your good
------ This thread is Archived ------
RobbieM: I need 6 winning lottery numbers, if your inspired please feel free to share
The money would come in real handy as i can then go house hunting next monday.
The money would come in real handy as i can then go house hunting next monday.
Will think about it then...
------ This thread is Archived ------
morganlee: hi Robbie,
completely agree what your saying about the money thing, i have helped people out and then had to
ask for the money back and i have been the one that felt bad about it, seems like a good way to loose
friends. Hope your good
completely agree what your saying about the money thing, i have helped people out and then had to
ask for the money back and i have been the one that felt bad about it, seems like a good way to loose
friends. Hope your good
It's really embarrassing isn't it!!! It puts you in a terrible position!!
Funny thing happened yesterday, i did all the domestic stuff, went shopping post office etc and didnt get out of breathe so i thought, great the split must of healed up, i'm on a roll!!
The sun was lovely, i'd had a bath the cats we happy and i had no dead animals outside the back door.
Sadly though the sun had the last laugh.....i didnt take my shades out with me and promptly got a migraine!!
You have to laugh, but least i found out now before finding out on the way to the airport saturday
------ This thread is Archived ------
RobbieM: It's really embarrassing isn't it!!! It puts you in a terrible position!!
Funny thing happened yesterday, i did all the domestic stuff, went shopping post office etc and didnt get out of breathe so i thought, great the split must of healed up, i'm on a roll!!
The sun was lovely, i'd had a bath the cats we happy and i had no dead animals outside the back door.
Sadly though the sun had the last laugh.....i didnt take my shades out with me and promptly got a migraine!!
You have to laugh, but least i found out now before finding out on the way to the airport saturday
Funny thing happened yesterday, i did all the domestic stuff, went shopping post office etc and didnt get out of breathe so i thought, great the split must of healed up, i'm on a roll!!
The sun was lovely, i'd had a bath the cats we happy and i had no dead animals outside the back door.
Sadly though the sun had the last laugh.....i didnt take my shades out with me and promptly got a migraine!!
You have to laugh, but least i found out now before finding out on the way to the airport saturday
------ This thread is Archived ------
This Thread is Archived
This Thread is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Threads get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.
« Go back to All Threads
« Go back to All Threads
More Threads
your personality
Don Shits-In-Pants!!!
Happy Birthday MysteriousGirl80
rarotonga
The Best of the GOP
wanting beyond need
Sleepy Don!
other can see but not you
the way you look
1830's Music
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
I actually get along better with male friends then I do with women ones.