Laughter....the best medicine (15)
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Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.When
mother and new baby came home from the hospital,
Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad
had a talk with him and explained that the baby
had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much as
mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears
or even said the word ears, he would get the
smacking of this life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood
completely.
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a
beautiful baby."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie."
Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and
beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and
really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "We are so thankful;
the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnnie, "coz he'd be
f****d if he needed glasses."
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.When
mother and new baby came home from the hospital,
Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad
had a talk with him and explained that the baby
had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much as
mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears
or even said the word ears, he would get the
smacking of this life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood
completely.
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a
beautiful baby."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie."
Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and
beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and
really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "We are so thankful;
the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnnie, "coz he'd be
f****d if he needed glasses."
------ This thread is Archived ------
Karma3: Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.When
mother and new baby came home from the hospital,
Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad
had a talk with him and explained that the baby
had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much as
mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears
or even said the word ears, he would get the
smacking of this life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood
completely.
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a
beautiful baby."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie."
Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and
beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and
really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "We are so thankful;
the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnnie, "coz he'd be
f****d if he needed glasses."
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.When
mother and new baby came home from the hospital,
Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad
had a talk with him and explained that the baby
had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much as
mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears
or even said the word ears, he would get the
smacking of this life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood
completely.
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a
beautiful baby."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie."
Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and
beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and
really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "We are so thankful;
the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnnie, "coz he'd be
f****d if he needed glasses."
kids. don't you love 'em?
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both were great
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A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding
salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, 'Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us. Silence fell on the congregation.
In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much
of it, we wear rubbers.' The entire congregation said, 'Amen.'
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding
salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, 'Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us. Silence fell on the congregation.
In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much
of it, we wear rubbers.' The entire congregation said, 'Amen.'
------ This thread is Archived ------
Karma3: A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding
salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, 'Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us. Silence fell on the congregation.
In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much
of it, we wear rubbers.' The entire congregation said, 'Amen.'
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding
salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, 'Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us. Silence fell on the congregation.
In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much
of it, we wear rubbers.' The entire congregation said, 'Amen.'
Never heard it before!! Thanks for posting it!!
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Karma, you're a hoot.. Great jokes------ This thread is Archived ------
Karma3: "That's great", said Little Johnnie, "coz he'd be
f****d if he needed glasses."
f****d if he needed glasses."
And
Karma3: 'Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much
of it, we wear rubbers.' The entire congregation said, 'Amen.'
of it, we wear rubbers.' The entire congregation said, 'Amen.'
OMFG, quit it! I am dying here! ------ This thread is Archived ------
Karma3: A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding
salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, 'Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us. Silence fell on the congregation.
In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much
of it, we wear rubbers.' The entire congregation said, 'Amen.'
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding
salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, 'Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us. Silence fell on the congregation.
In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much
of it, we wear rubbers.' The entire congregation said, 'Amen.'
------ This thread is Archived ------
Sparky55: Karma, you're a hoot.. Great jokes
Thanks Sparky!
------ This thread is Archived ------
p_seg: Never heard it before!! Thanks for posting it!!
Welcome p_seg!
------ This thread is Archived ------
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Created: Jul 2008
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to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the Skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.
After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, 'Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?'
My darling,' she replied, 'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.'