advice needed in this new world ( Archived) (88)

And yeah, that was rude!

then it is as i said

there are some non writen rules that the newbies have to folow so the old ones will not have compl;ains

why dont yuo publish them here

i will be able to learn them and folow them too

you are wrong

i am the one asking advice for me

not for some one else
not in the name of some one else

but it is more anoyins to see some one claiming to be polite unable to give and honest advice to some one loking for one

The basic rule Alex, is that people come first. Their needs , their wants, their preferences. We consider them in everything we do on here, as we would in real life. Making other people happy becomes a habit that makes us happy too. We make friends, and we all get along with each other, then no one complains. So when you are going to do something, think for a minute, will this piss somebody off?. Am I disrespecting somebody?, Am I offending someone, or Will it make people happy?

I'm not saying you have to be a people-pleaser all the time. You have, and are, entitled to your own opinions, it's just that your opinions seem to be mostly about rules and not how people feel, except yourself, and you tell people all the time how you feel.

Well we matter too Alex. We are all as valuable as each other , so it's important we treat each other with consideration and respect, regardless of what the rules say. Everyone is happy then including you.

Many people say things in posts that sound quite serious but they are often not being serious, the clues are in the emoticons usually. The other way to tell if someone is joking is to watch how they respond to others and see how others respond back to them and then you will find out their sense of humour, and know not to take offense when something sounds wrong to you.

Hope this helps.

in real life i dont recall anyone threatened me to report me for driving at the speed limit, althought they might be pissed i did

in real life every one is free to decide what to do, but in real life people do not complain the others folows the rules

as a matter of fact in real life people will be punished if caught for not flowing the rules

Thats not always true , often people are not punished for not following the rules, the courts let people off a lot and police will sometimes too.

yes i know that

sometimes people get a second chance

but, how many cases do you know people were taking to court for folowing the rules?

i will repeat the sam sample
people diving at the speed limit and pissing the rest of the twon that wants to speed

i guess you have to try to fit in to the parameters of the culture/country/area/dating site you are in- if you want to be accepted- if you can't ,then don't give out about it.

yes people break the rules here- but that is up to the mods, if they feel it is detrimental to the flow of the site, to instigate 'punishment'- not the posters.
i am extremely law abiding IRL- admittedly more for reasons that i just KNOW i would get caught , than always because i agree with the laws , but here- i occasionally bend the rules a bit, eg I may change what someone has written when quoting them- but ONLY if it is someone I am 99.9% certain, would not have a problem with that, and to inject humour .

otherwise, as far as i am aware, i stick to the rules, and unless it is causeing a huge problem to all the others here- i wouldn't complain when others don't.

Alex the topic here was how you will have the rules of CS explained to you and not about how you drive.

Leave the driving analagy out of this it isn't appropriate to the subject.

You asked about unwritten rules. I tried to explain that to you before you went on your driving metaphor again.

Well here is a writtren rule:

Rule 2 is about complaining like you do all the time about how the site is handled.

Rule 2: Don't even think about bashing this site or the moderators here. This is a free site...if you don't like the way things are handled here, you are free to leave.

You break this rule regularly............Rule : 3Let's keep the threads positive. If you don't like what someone is saying in a thread, stay out of the thread.


And this is the rule you break all the time : .........Rule 12: Treat others the way you would like to be treated – with respect - be polite, considerate, with no personal attacks, name calling, harassment, bad language. This is a place for discussion, debate, even disagreements – but not arguments just for the sake of arguing or aggravation.

So stop arguing with us about how the site should be run and either enjoy it for what it is or leave, as the rules say.

in this site as an international forum we have all kind of cultures
what could be aceptable for one it is not aceptable for others

at no point i am questioning the mods for punishing people that break the rules
it was clear it could hapen as it is stated in the rules
i am not complaining they let the rules to be bended, as some one already explained sometimes bending the rules it does not hurt others

my question is in the other direction
why some one folowing the rules will be segregated for folowing the rules

i have been in sone countries where the culture was "why will you do this (whetever it was) today if yu can pospone it for tomorrow"
and people were pissed i was keeping the schedule as programed
but at no point i had a cop asking me not to folow a schedule

i am trying to undertand the diference between real life and the internet dating world