Traveling ????????? (15)
mbcaseyNorth Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA68 Threads 7 Polls 16,449 Posts
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You forgot one....
JYEET - a question.
Usage: "Howdy, Bubba. You're lookin' mighty pekid. The Mrs. jus' whipped up a mess o' greens, cornbread, an' some fried chicken. Jyeet yet?"
(Being from the South originally, I am entitled to say this!)
JYEET - a question.
Usage: "Howdy, Bubba. You're lookin' mighty pekid. The Mrs. jus' whipped up a mess o' greens, cornbread, an' some fried chicken. Jyeet yet?"
(Being from the South originally, I am entitled to say this!)
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And few more helpful tips:
NORTH AND... SOUTH
The North has Bloomingdales,............... The South has Dollar General
The North has coffee houses,................. The South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services,............... The South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives,......... The South has Lee Press-on Nails.
The North has double last names,.......... The South has double first names.
The North has Indy car races................., The South has NASCAR.
The North has Cream of Wheat,............. The South has grits.
The North has green salads,................... The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters............................, The South has crawfish.
The North has the rust belt......................, The South has the Bible Belt.
**************************************************
FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . In the South:
If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
********************************************************
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.....do not buy food at this store.
**********************************************************
Remember, 'y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive
************************************************************
Get used to hearing 'Y’all ain't from round here, are ya?'
************************************************************ *
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
************************************************************ *
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' as in ‘big’ol’ truck or big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way.
All of them are in denial about it.
************************************************************ *
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
************************************************************ **
Be advised that 'He needed killin.' is a valid defense here.
***************************************************
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all, watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever utter.
***************************************************
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
************************************************************ ****
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
********************************************************
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
********************************
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biskits.
NORTH AND... SOUTH
The North has Bloomingdales,............... The South has Dollar General
The North has coffee houses,................. The South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services,............... The South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives,......... The South has Lee Press-on Nails.
The North has double last names,.......... The South has double first names.
The North has Indy car races................., The South has NASCAR.
The North has Cream of Wheat,............. The South has grits.
The North has green salads,................... The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters............................, The South has crawfish.
The North has the rust belt......................, The South has the Bible Belt.
**************************************************
FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . In the South:
If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
********************************************************
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.....do not buy food at this store.
**********************************************************
Remember, 'y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive
************************************************************
Get used to hearing 'Y’all ain't from round here, are ya?'
************************************************************ *
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
************************************************************ *
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' as in ‘big’ol’ truck or big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way.
All of them are in denial about it.
************************************************************ *
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
************************************************************ **
Be advised that 'He needed killin.' is a valid defense here.
***************************************************
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all, watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever utter.
***************************************************
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
************************************************************ ****
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
********************************************************
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
********************************
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biskits.
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The_Kansan: And few more helpful tips:NORTH AND... SOUTH
The North has Bloomingdales,............... The South has Dollar General
The North has coffee houses,................. The South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services,............... The South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives,......... The South has Lee Press-on Nails.
The North has double last names,.......... The South has double first names.
The North has Indy car races................., The South has NASCAR.
The North has Cream of Wheat,............. The South has grits.
The North has green salads,................... The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters............................, The South has crawfish.
The North has the rust belt......................, The South has the Bible Belt.
**************************************************
FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . In the South:
If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
********************************************************
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.....do not buy food at this store.
**********************************************************
Remember, 'y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive
************************************************************
Get used to hearing 'Y’all ain't from round here, are ya?'
************************************************************ *
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
************************************************************ *
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' as in ‘big’ol’ truck or big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way.
All of them are in denial about it.
************************************************************ *
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
************************************************************ **
Be advised that 'He needed killin.' is a valid defense here.
***************************************************
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all, watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever utter.
***************************************************
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
************************************************************ ****
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
********************************************************
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
********************************
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biskits.
The North has Bloomingdales,............... The South has Dollar General
The North has coffee houses,................. The South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services,............... The South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives,......... The South has Lee Press-on Nails.
The North has double last names,.......... The South has double first names.
The North has Indy car races................., The South has NASCAR.
The North has Cream of Wheat,............. The South has grits.
The North has green salads,................... The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters............................, The South has crawfish.
The North has the rust belt......................, The South has the Bible Belt.
**************************************************
FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . In the South:
If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
********************************************************
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.....do not buy food at this store.
**********************************************************
Remember, 'y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive
************************************************************
Get used to hearing 'Y’all ain't from round here, are ya?'
************************************************************ *
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
************************************************************ *
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' as in ‘big’ol’ truck or big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way.
All of them are in denial about it.
************************************************************ *
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
************************************************************ **
Be advised that 'He needed killin.' is a valid defense here.
***************************************************
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all, watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever utter.
***************************************************
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
************************************************************ ****
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
********************************************************
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
********************************
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biskits.
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OH....and another Southern gem...
Add the words "bless his heart" or "bless her heart" to any insult, and it sounds so endearing.
Example:
"He hasn't got the brains God gave a flea, bless his heart."
or
"She's the homeliest thing I ever laid eyes on, bless her heart."
Add the words "bless his heart" or "bless her heart" to any insult, and it sounds so endearing.
Example:
"He hasn't got the brains God gave a flea, bless his heart."
or
"She's the homeliest thing I ever laid eyes on, bless her heart."
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Redneck Engineering Exam
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? a) '66 Ford Fairlane b) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle c) '64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?
4. A pulpwood cutter has chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The lot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?
8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?
9. A Coal Mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? a) '66 Ford Fairlane b) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle c) '64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?
4. A pulpwood cutter has chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The lot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?
8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?
9. A Coal Mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?
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All so funny !!
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So where are the answers to the engineering exam?
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omg ya'all are killing me here ------ This thread is Archived ------
brilliant thread. Thank you .. i spent much time here and ignored all the others :)
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hrt4lse: So where are the answers to the engineering exam?
Yeah!!! BTW They use radiators to make the moonshine?????
As for the rest,
My Uncle moved his family to a area in Dallas, when his job transfered him from Ohio to Texas. My Aunt told my Mother the first neighbor to bring over a welcome food basket also enclosed a pamphlet that was 8.5"l x 3.5"w x 0.5"d. This was titled "How to Talk Like a Native of Dallas".
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Created: Oct 2008
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