Disruptive Children In Public (45)
cazzyd: I think before jumping to conclusions that a child is unruly you first have to think to yourself is this child suffering with something like ADHD ot Autism, i mean a good friend of mine everytime she brings her 8yr old son out has to put a t-shirt on him that says i am not a bad boy i am an autistic boy, but she shouldnt have to do that ,but people stare at him if he is having a bad day and you can see it on their faces untill they see the t-shirt. i think its unfortunate that people can still not tolerate children in public.
Why should my first instinct be to create an "excuse" to justify their behaviour?
Though what you said is true, and the child could have medical issues that are not immediately obvious, and you are probably more sensitive to it because of your friend....but i'm sorry i disagree....I am no more able to first think of an excuse why they are misbehaving than i would if i saw a grown person misbehaving....(JMO)
And personally I don't think people not appreciating their "night out" or a church service or something of that nature constitutes not tolerating children in public. If I were in an amusement park or something of that nature and i saw children running screaming, food flying...I would not even bat an eye....
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sweetowen: I stopped taking my daughter to church when she was a toddler. She had ADHD & would disrupt the entire congregation. It was such an unpleasant experience, I just gave up. Yes, they had a nursery... when it was open. Half of the time, there was nobody there to watch them. And I couldn't concentrate on the sermon with her bouncing all over... & under... the pews!
my son also had adhd he wasn't diagnosed til he was 6 .i always found it hard to bring him any where as he was so disruptive.
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children are not able to express themselves like an adult.
if a child is being loud when expressing themselves it because they lack maturity.
if i had a child or children.
no way would i say to them shut up and be quite because the people over there think your being rude.
if people complain about children while eating out maybe they should stay at home and eat at home.
i would rather a child that has a little character and personality
if a child is being loud when expressing themselves it because they lack maturity.
if i had a child or children.
no way would i say to them shut up and be quite because the people over there think your being rude.
if people complain about children while eating out maybe they should stay at home and eat at home.
i would rather a child that has a little character and personality
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sweetowen: I have a tolerance for disruptive children in public. As I've stated, mine was. But that doesn't mean I didn't try to calm her down. There is nothing more irritating than when a child is acting up & the parents do absolutely nothing to contain him/her!
I was at a pizza restaurant with my oldest grandson a couple of years ago. While we were sitting & trying to eat, the owner's daughter came over & was sitting with us. I'd never been there before & had never met them or their child. Wouldn't you think the parents would've been worried about their child sitting with a total stranger??
She also didn't have any shoes on & was placing her bare feet on our table. I'm sorry... that's a big red slash to the Dept of Health. And to boot, she was taking my grandson's french fries & eating them, herself!!
All the while, her parents were oblivious as to what their child was doing until I said something to the child & asked her to please leave us alone! I mean, really!! What DOES it take for some people??
Now, I'm not saying this is ALWAYS the case. But if parents know their child is acting up, at least something should be said to that child. Again, this is JMHO.
I was at a pizza restaurant with my oldest grandson a couple of years ago. While we were sitting & trying to eat, the owner's daughter came over & was sitting with us. I'd never been there before & had never met them or their child. Wouldn't you think the parents would've been worried about their child sitting with a total stranger??
She also didn't have any shoes on & was placing her bare feet on our table. I'm sorry... that's a big red slash to the Dept of Health. And to boot, she was taking my grandson's french fries & eating them, herself!!
All the while, her parents were oblivious as to what their child was doing until I said something to the child & asked her to please leave us alone! I mean, really!! What DOES it take for some people??
Now, I'm not saying this is ALWAYS the case. But if parents know their child is acting up, at least something should be said to that child. Again, this is JMHO.
A well placed spillt soda would probably cut her visit short?!?!
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yum_yum: children are not able to express themselves like an adult.
if a child is being loud when expressing themselves it because they lack maturity.
if i had a child or children.
no way would i say to them shut up and be quite because the people over there think your being rude.
if people complain about children while eating out maybe they should stay at home and eat at home.
i would rather a child that has a little character and personality
if a child is being loud when expressing themselves it because they lack maturity.
if i had a child or children.
no way would i say to them shut up and be quite because the people over there think your being rude.
if people complain about children while eating out maybe they should stay at home and eat at home.
i would rather a child that has a little character and personality
"they lack maturity"....which is exactly why the adult needs to be in charge....(as I've said before behaviours are a learned/taught process)
I don't think you need to say to them to "shut up", but if they are being annoying why wouldn't you say to them they are being annoying? How else would they know that it is inappropriate at times to be loud?
I think its a little unfair to suggest that if people can't handle children during their dinner they should stay home, what gives the parents with loud children more right to be in that restaurant over the people without? (And that is not always the case because there are people who do dine out with their children without incident)
BTW...alot of couples that are dining out are probably trying to have a night out without their own children.....
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DazzleYou: tasers work wonders
I was thinking duct tape.
dennis
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Take them to the restroom having a nice firm talk with them explain that they will be grounded if they dont straighten up and start acting like human instead of wild animals.
If this continues that why belts were created two good smacks on that behind may help.
This always works for my little one. People tell me she is a joy to be around she always mind so well.
If this continues that why belts were created two good smacks on that behind may help.
This always works for my little one. People tell me she is a joy to be around she always mind so well.
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I am the mother of two teenage girls...and i had my share believe me!!
There were many dinners out that we left half eaten, many church services that i stood out in the foyer with them, lots of family functions where i had to leave early....
But it didn't stop me from taking them out in public...it was the ONLY place i could teach them how to behave in public!
What i didn't do was try to excuse their behaviour as them just being kids...because that would have just led to me having a pair of unruly teenagers!
There were many dinners out that we left half eaten, many church services that i stood out in the foyer with them, lots of family functions where i had to leave early....
But it didn't stop me from taking them out in public...it was the ONLY place i could teach them how to behave in public!
What i didn't do was try to excuse their behaviour as them just being kids...because that would have just led to me having a pair of unruly teenagers!
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rolltideroll: Take them to the restroom having a nice firm talk with them explain that they will be grounded if they dont straighten up and start acting like human instead of wild animals. If this continues that why belts were created two good smacks on that behind may help.This always works for my little one. People tell me she is a joy to be around she always mind so well.
I do what you do ..without the belt though
Some have made concessions for children with difficulties..I am sorry but I disagree on this point. No matter the child, they have to be able to pass themselves in society in my honest opinion.
I have a child with mutliple disorders, if you want to call them that, and I do not allow him to use them as an excuse for bad behaviour.
I meet mothers on a daily basis, who do not know that I live the life they come to talk about, as they sit there and wring their hands with the attitude "poor me".... "I cant do anything with him/her" is a common lament.
A parent is responsible in teaching a child strategies in dealing with the outside world..they need to teach their children and stop waiting for others to do it for them..
just my 2 pennies worth
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Hi I'm new to this site so I will try not to upset anyone but think about this I could care less about the laws that tell me what or how I can discipline my kids these same laws would put you in jail for them being out of control as a young adult. Look how the kids are now. I don't buy into the time out thing spare the rod spoil the child and to have to leave an event because of a child being disruptive no way there is a lack of discipline in society today because we are to busy or just don't want to deal with it and wonder why our kids are all messed up.......here I have a video game for you now be good....come on it's not rocket science teach them right from wrong and throwing fits and tantrums isn't accepted.....take care.
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rolltideroll: Take them to the restroom having a nice firm talk with them explain that they will be grounded if they dont straighten up and start acting like human instead of wild animals. If this continues that why belts were created two good smacks on that behind may help.This always works for my little one. People tell me she is a joy to be around she always mind so well.
the more i learn the more bummed out i become
not one whack
2
yes those fearful are generally quite well behaved
but they have learned fear and oppression
not of much value once they are on their own
self respect is a better thing to teach, natural causes of actions
which gettin whacked isnt a natural consequence
after falling into some consequences-like being shunned or whatever we can learn and create self esteem by making better choices
yeah its inconvenient and takes longer for the parent but the sacrifice of time and comfort is whats agreed ideally upon taking on the responsibility of a child
ideals
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"self respect is a better thing to teach, natural causes of actions
which gettin whacked isnt a natural consequence"
That's why I have a no smacking policy regarding home and work...
which gettin whacked isnt a natural consequence"
That's why I have a no smacking policy regarding home and work...
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TurkishDelight: I do what you do ..without the belt though Some have made concessions for children with difficulties..I am sorry but I disagree on this point. No matter the child, they have to be able to pass themselves in society in my honest opinion.
I have a child with mutliple disorders, if you want to call them that, and I do not allow him to use them as an excuse for bad behaviour.
I meet mothers on a daily basis, who do not know that I live the life they come to talk about, as they sit there and wring their hands with the attitude "poor me".... "I cant do anything with him/her" is a common lament.
A parent is responsible in teaching a child strategies in dealing with the outside world..they need to teach their children and stop waiting for others to do it for them..
just my 2 pennies worth
I have a child with mutliple disorders, if you want to call them that, and I do not allow him to use them as an excuse for bad behaviour.
I meet mothers on a daily basis, who do not know that I live the life they come to talk about, as they sit there and wring their hands with the attitude "poor me".... "I cant do anything with him/her" is a common lament.
A parent is responsible in teaching a child strategies in dealing with the outside world..they need to teach their children and stop waiting for others to do it for them..
just my 2 pennies worth
Well said!
Children that do have "disabilities" do need to learn how to cope with those disabilities because they have to live the rest of their life with them...and who better to teach them than a loving parent!
I don't understand why there are some parents who will fight tooth and nail for their "disabled" child to be treated as an equal and those who just use it as an excuse....and then of course there are those who use the "disability" excuse only when its "convenient"....
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mindfful:
yes those fearful are generally quite well behaved
yes those fearful are generally quite well behaved
That so called "fear" (of authority) generally is what keeps them out of jail....JMO
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wikked: That so called "fear" (of authority) generally is what keeps them out of jail....JMO
There is a simular word, "respect" its derived from latin "resptos". In latin it means basicaly having to deal with your actions, used in a sentence : i respectos electricity by not putting my tounge in an electrical outlet.
There is a need to disaplin children and a need to let their minds to be free. But the parent should be able to pull the reigns when appropiate. The child starts pushing the parents as soon as they are born.
Dennis
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lorax111: There is a simular word, "respect" its derived from latin "resptos". In latin it means basicaly having to deal with your actions, used in a sentence : i respectos electricity by not putting my tounge in an electrical outlet.
There is a need to disaplin children and a need to let their minds to be free. But the parent should be able to pull the reigns when appropiate. The child starts pushing the parents as soon as they are born. Dennis
There is a need to disaplin children and a need to let their minds to be free. But the parent should be able to pull the reigns when appropiate. The child starts pushing the parents as soon as they are born. Dennis
Exactly Denis - I was out and observing people the other day and what i saw was parents being a whole lot more verbal than the children - its parenting skills that need looking at rather than "unruly children" - of course, in my opinion......... parents screechin at kids really isnt much of a good idea..........
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wikked: That so called "fear" (of authority) generally is what keeps them out of jail....JMO
I agree... if you spare the rod, spoiled is the child...
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Sorry for the wording of my last post, you can probably get the jist of what I was saying though.
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I just came back fro having dinner with my family. My 4 y/o grandchild is staying with me and was at dinner. The restraint was noisy and crowded and she didn't really like her meal.
Emily knows what is expected of her ie; how she is to behave in a restaurant . She is not allowed to act up or get out of control in any way. Good manners are regularly expected of her.
I never lay a finger on her or raise my voice. If she will not listen to quiet down the first time I just remind her that we can leave if she can't follow the rules. She also knows I mean it and we will leave any time any place where she can't behave right. We have always followed through on this.
She not only acted beautifully tonight (and usually), never ran around or got out of control. She hugged me and said "OK grandma". I told her I was proud of her.
A friend who was eating with us said he was amazed and that his niece who is the same age was always all over the place.
Emily is never hit, she does get time outs and very clear boundaries. She is basically treated with the same respect that is required of her.
Emily knows what is expected of her ie; how she is to behave in a restaurant . She is not allowed to act up or get out of control in any way. Good manners are regularly expected of her.
I never lay a finger on her or raise my voice. If she will not listen to quiet down the first time I just remind her that we can leave if she can't follow the rules. She also knows I mean it and we will leave any time any place where she can't behave right. We have always followed through on this.
She not only acted beautifully tonight (and usually), never ran around or got out of control. She hugged me and said "OK grandma". I told her I was proud of her.
A friend who was eating with us said he was amazed and that his niece who is the same age was always all over the place.
Emily is never hit, she does get time outs and very clear boundaries. She is basically treated with the same respect that is required of her.
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My sister has two daughters. The older one also never threw a tantrum in her life. The younger one can't be taken to a restaurant. She behaves fine otherwise, but for some reason if she goes to a restaurant, she goes ballistic behaviorally. My sister and parents don't understand it, can't find a reason for it, and have just learned not to take her to any. She's 5 now, and will hopefully begin to outgrow this, but it made me stop blaming the parents. She's not a bad kid, and not ADHD...just for some reason can't behave in a restaurant.
I understand your answer....however...if the parents are not to blame (not sure i like the word blame though) who is? Society? The doctors? The food we eat? Why does something/someone else need to shoulder the "blame"?