Sir Rambeaux was one of these men:
No brain to speak of- which was then
no hindrance if one was a knight-
for all one had to do was fight.
But fights- they were short in supply:
To get one, one had to apply
by letter to the Minister
for war (...and for the sinister!),
to get a permit- which was rare:
Just fight the red-tape (if you dare!)

Our man now wanted to impress
his hearts desire- a Princess-,
and thus he thought he'd go and slay
a dragon, so her heart would sway.
The wretched creature's hacked-off head
would proof the beast to be quite dead...
How she would love his manly stance!
So screw the permit..."Where's me lance?"
(Well- permits, laws and paragraphs
were- to his mind- just good for laughs!)

The lady was- however- keen
on fauna, flora, issues green-
while all of these were still alive-
not killed by sword or lance or knife...
"Sir Rambeaux- who? That stupid prick?
Puleeese- not HIM- I’m getting sick...!"
(Thus, while Sir Rambeaux thought she's nuts
about him, she just hates his guts...
The point this macho kept ignoring
was that her highness found him boring!)

He put his armour on and then
went off to find a dragon's den.
(Well, he was not alone, of course:
His servants came on foot, by horse
and wagon. One can not expect
a gentleman with self-respect
to cook his dinners, wash his socks
or clamber lonely through the rocks!
So- thus he's got a kitchen-maid,
as servant, lover, dragon-bait...)

A mere ten years they had to travel,
before they found a pit, of gravel
with loads of bones heaped all around.
From inside came the horrid sound
of munching. (But the smell was nice:
Like horseman, fried, with long-grain rice...)
A soldier went to fetch the maid:
The den was found- now for the bait...
(The girl did scream a bit and wriggle,
which caused the soldiers for to giggle.)


With sword in hand (behind his men...)
Sir Rambeaux now approached the den
and screamed
“Come out and fight, ye beast!”
Upset to interrupt his feast
a grumpy dragon left his den,
and took a look and yawned, and then
he took a thigh-bone unperturbed
and picked his teeth, spat out and burped.
(...The job-description of a beast
includes that it enjoy its feast!)

The soldiers, at this grisly sight,
took off at once (in manly flight…)
possessed by terror- past the maid,
and past Sir Rambeaux (who was swayed);
They ran as fast as they could run,
to leave him standing in the sun
alone. And as the dust did settle
Sir Rambeaux did prepare for battle:
(Not that this had him overjoyed-

his soldiers had been meant to fight...)


The dragon asked: "What do ye want?
It's dinner-time, ye ignorant!
I'd like to dine in peace and quiet-
and you turn up and cause a riot:
Yer predecessor's getting cold,
and my digestive-tract's too old..."
(His doctors warned him to go easy
on food in cans- it's much too greasy...
But on that day, he'd liked the taste-
and anyways, he hated waste!)