I started out life always stopping to turn a beetle the right way up, whenever I encountered her on her back, legs flailing,
I gave it no thought, I took no credit for it, I unconsciously did it, it just naturally seemed the right thing to do…,
And inside me I had a good feeling when I did that…

I got my first pet, which was a catfish from the river Nile, from our fishmonger, when I was five years old,
I put in a large dish and threw bread in, which it did not eat, then my father advised me to give it earthworms, it did not eat those either, three days later, it just keeled over and went to fish-heaven,
I wept for hours on end…

Life went on,
Then at age ten, a crowd of angry men gathered outside our home and started chanting:-
“…’cmon black brothers, let us drink the blood of the white man…”, referring to me and my family,
We just happened to be Greeks living in Khartoum, Sudan, which was then in the throes of its latest revolution, and whites were fair game,
Thousands of people perished at the hands of mobs purely because of the color of their skin,
My father smuggled us out of the country …

Since then, I noticed that I would vacillate between the peaceful spirit of love to the demonic spirit of hate,
Like a seesaw,
And, I paid with the appropriate Karma…

Now, some fifty years later,
I find I’m still seesawing between times in my life where I help the ‘beetle’ and times when I want to send him to ‘beetle-heaven’,
Thankfully, I have not taken the life of another human being, and I was an avowed non-combatant in the military,
I take no credit for that incredibly fortuitous grace, ‘cause that’s what it was, pure, unadulterated grace from the Source of Love,
And I’m sooo grateful to that source!!!

Today, I intensely feel the humility, I feel the love for the beetle,
But, how will I feel tomorrow?
I know how I want to feel and how I fervently ‘pray and meditate’ that I will feel,
But, as Alcoholics Anonymous says:-
“…I am powerless, and totally dependent on GRACE…”,
So, like a new-born babe, totally helpless and dependent on that GRACE, I go on, wanting to turn the beetle right-way up,
May I always take the time and find it in my heart dear beetle, to stop and gently and lovingly and gratefully turn you the right way up…

In mindfulness…