From the time you were born,
From your first cry,
From that first searching look you directed at me,
I knew that you thought I was God...

From the first time I held you securely in my arms,
From the first time I comforted your tears,
From the first time I fed you,
I knew that you thought I was God...

From the first grazed knee I ‘kissed-all-better’,
From the first time I satisfied a puzzling question you had,
From the first time I praised your uncertain steps in this world,
I knew that you thought I was God...

Then, unfortunately, the time came many years later,
When the man you loved let you down, and you collapsed on the floor in great travail and hopelessness,
And you looked in my familiar face for the God you saw there so many times before, your eyes begged me for the comfort I had given you so many times before as you were growing up,
But, this time, alas, he was not there, he could not offer you the unshakable solace he had so many, many times before,
Now, you realized you had to stand on your own wounded feet and do it all by yourself...,
Outwardly, I put on a brave front for your sake,
Inside, though, I was dying a thousand deaths,
As I too, lost the God that you saw in me,
And I had to force myself to look for God where God’s always been, ‘up in heaven somewhere’...

As you may be guessing, I did not find God ‘up in heaven somewhere’, and my despair deepened immensely,
Long, sleepless nights ensued as I searched and searched,
I fasted and prayed,
I cried out in enormous anguish,
But, God could just not be found ‘up in heaven somewhere’...

Now, many years later, as my crow-black hair kept changing colors, first to grey and then to white,
I hear a very distant-sounding-knock from some very subterranean part of my very broken heart,
The knock got louder and louder, finally I could not ignore it anymore,
‘Well, who is it I asked...’,
‘Its God dear child..., I just want to inform you that you’ve been searching for me in all the wrong places, whilst, all the time, I’ve been right here, deep in your very own heart... Come in and commune with me, get to know me, get to truly rely on me, till you get to easily love me, till it becomes second nature for you to turn to me with everything that could possibly bother you, big, small, or in-between...’

I took God up on his offer,
And I’m healing much faster now,
And, as I once again see God inside me,
I rush to your side when you need me,
And I let you look into my eyes,
And what a joy it is to me, when I hear you say:-
‘Wow, Dad, God is back inside you, and, you’re now so clearly showing me how God is inside me too, so, that I too, can teach my children to look for and find God, where God always is...