I slumber inside my coffin nearly every single day
Then I come out at night lurking in the shadows- please don't be afraid
Of my glowing eyes, or my black long nails, or even my sharp teeth
I am just a nocturnal creature looking for something good to eat
Ive never seen my reflection before and if I did would it be scary?
Im not a rabid wolf or blood thirsty bat, no I'm a raccoon and my name is Larry
Now I am just a homeless coon that's all alone, I can't even cross the street
With out getting shot by a BB gun or a speeding car trying to plow over me
My story began in a one bedroom there inside the EverGreen Cemetery,
With my deadbeat good fer nothing lazy roommate who's name is Harry
I work all night and all he does is lay around taking up this space
I wished that HGTV would come and give more life and room to this dismal place
His hygiene is very poor, he smells horrible unlike your ordinary slob
He invites all of his friends over and none of them slimy little worms even have a job
Without any shame they eat up all of the food and why just the other day
He had a mouse inside of his pocket eating my bag of Frit-O-Lays
That was the straw that finally broke the camels back
Harry you good fer nothing free loading bum I'm tired of picking up your slack
So wipe that stupid look off your face you knew this day was coming
I would rather live inside a cardboard box than to live here with you slumming
Those were the last words I ever said to him and I guess I put him in his place
Because he laid there quiet, but then again he never has anything to say
Well thats my story and why I'm kicking this can and singing the somber blues
Harry you were a good friend, but I just cant live with you