Very touching write!
SAS

Laura!!!!! So thrilled to see you here!!!!

They love you!!! Even if one or both were to think they didn't, I can tell you... they do. (btw-My son turned 29 on the day you wrote this.)
Anyway, he told me about a year ago that he used to think when he was younger, that even though others told him I did things out of love, he really didn't think so. But for a long time now, he has thought back, and knows it was love... he tells me he loves me all the time whenever I get a chance to see him- and how much he misses me... and he is extremely grateful for those things done out of love.

They love you mucho grande!!! (And I love you, too) And fantastic, heartfelt, heartwrenching poem

Lyn

Very sad Laura but deep inside their hearts they love and like you..you must believe that. Yes I stayed for them too... My son especially, thinking it was what's best for him. But few years after I left he told me I should have talked about it to him.... "Mom there was no point in you staying, I knew you were unhappy; I'd rather have you happy because if you are... We all are". That changed my outlook Laura... My experience taught me that the children are in fact the number one reason mothers should leave their undesirable (be it physical or psychological) family situations.

Hi again, Laura
I see I didn't even address your main concern(it's actually what I meant tho, as far as liking - one or both may feel they don't like you at the moment - but one day, I really feel it'll be different.)

And if some decisions turn out to be mistakes, they'll understand that, too. They'll see it in the context of the entire situation- and even one day be amazed at how you managed as much as you did under the circumstances.
(A little extra note here- yrs. ago I saw a Newsweek mag. cover w/loads of photos in a collage - it was about divorce. In the research & interviews of all in those pics - kids whose parents divorced when very young usually recovered in a fairly short time. However, every single one whose parents divorced when they were teens never got over it-even yrs. later-even tho some themselves had experienced their own divorce. Those whose parents divorced after the teen yrs. also eventually recovered... but the teen yrs....)
Just tryin' to say- statistics would have likely been on your side. Since the marriage problems didn't start til your kids' later yrs., they could have had just as much trauma if you had divorced, though maybe a few differences in issues.

I knew a mom who was going to stay w/her husband til her child graduated from school. She had about 10 mos. to go. And secretly, I was glad, b/c I have never forgotten that article & those interviews in the mag.
However - she ended up divorcing about 5 mos. b/f. Her child took yrs. to finally grad. & further education & job(even tho this child had many times during the last yrs. of the marriage, expressed sheer hatred of the arguments that occurred between the parents; the child became far worse emotionally when the divorce occurred.)

..And is finally doing fairly well now.

I still believe they love you, and they like you(or eventually will like you). Maybe there would be a strong, decent male figure- acquaintance or relative or something- who could help your daughter to see things more clearly. Like you, I'm not sure of all the answers... but you're a terrific mom!