Last Edited Holidays Poems (18)

April Fools jokes are fun to pull
I did two songs from the movie Step Brothers with Will Ferrell
Billy Joel's Keeping the Faith, and The Longest Time
Which are sung in the movie by a group called Uptown Girl Claps from my friend and the DJ, and nothing, nada from the audience
I did one at a company meeting a few years ago
The manager said does anyone have any questions
I said, I parked my car illegally, only because the guy in front of me did too
How many times can I do that before something bad happens
She said Three

This world we live in
has become crazier...
where tradition... values & morals
have been eroded ever so faster...
It's up to each of us
to hold faith and set anchor
to the core that has shaped us better...
So we can without hesitation and shame...
celebrate spiritual holidays like CHRISTmas
and this Blessed EASTER ...
For whatever changes life can bring ,
to unwaveringly keep the same...
those things worth cherishing ... worth standing for...
according to their true essence,
without hesitation or regret, evermore ...

My next trip to Bali - I was twenty-four
Going there again with a few mates.
We each had a room (like the time before)
I'll not bore you with flight details commonplace.
Returning on a holiday to score
Some p*ssy and drink till we're off our face.
We had spending money and a cheap airfare -
All I'll say suffice to say we got there.

Arriving on the beach in steamy Kuta
To watch a sunset dying in the west.
Sipping Bintang beer in a pool bar
(Memories I made there were the best).
Knowing that I was now from Sydney far
It was time to settle in and to get pissed.
To tie one on but not get truly rotten
The smells of Asia not quickly are forgotten.

The first girl I met her name was Donna
(An Aussie girl from Broome as I remember)
And that first night I certainly got on her
(It's hot and dry in Bali in December).
By the pool at 3 am is where I saw her; -
I invited her into the balmy water;-
And now I'll tell you something really cool -
In two minutes we were at it in the pool!

The next night was quite different I tell you
A moon came up full wan wild and wicked; -
And having nothing better now to do
Went out again intending to get shickered.
Now by myself (not with the other crew)
The meal cart's cooking fires brightly flickered.
Next something now that I won't soon forget -
I think the chef put mushrooms in my omelet!

In half an hour I was feeling strange
And went into an expensive nightclub.
I lay upon a sofa on a stage
And watched the moon shower silver from above.
Now trapped in a bright psychedelic cage
My senses one by one had taken leave; -
The music they were playing - the Eurhythmics
I heard the gifted voice of Annie Lennox.

On the stereo, Annie sang her song "Why"
Why indeed? I ask now (taken deeper).
I looked into the silver moonlit sky
The trip upon me (and my will grows weaker).
Something strange now (like this poetry)
To wake now from a dream (but not the sleeper).
I stared transfixed at the black silhouette
Of palm trees edged in moonlight (stranger yet).

The next day I didn't feel so good
(I muttered curses underneath my breath).
I thought about it - and I really should
Have had police arrest that wicked chef.
If I could find him - then I surely would
Have told them all about his bad omelets.
I searched about in every street canteen -
But nowhere was the scoundrel to be seen.

Well not much more to add now - two more girls
Both were Indonesian and were prozzies*.
Just names on a list now - that is all -
(In Bali there are worse things than the mozzies**).
A strange holiday in a place tropical -
Tourists on the beach in skimpy cozzies***.
Eight days of sun, and then time to go home -
The weirdest holiday I've ever known.




© lovecanbereal
All rights reserved

Well so it was the plane was born aloft -
Goodbye Sydney (if only for a week).
Tarmac vanished as up into the soft
Clouds the big bird flew (we felt like sheikhs) -
Not like jaded jet setters (who did this oft);-
So happily we settled in our seats; -
Five mates from QANTAS - and of course was me -
(The author of the poem that you now read).

At twenty-two, the blood's a lot more racy -
Unlike a good red wine (matured in vats); -
Accordingly, my verse will be more pacey -
Not Gothic all (like castles full of bats).
Fluff-white clouds in contrails of white tracery
The plane a dart conveying young root rats; -
In ways quite similar to Spain's Ibiza
(At any rate, the plane sped through the ether).

Six hours of flight - now coming into view -
Our destination end of this flight path; -
(No doubt the hosties and the other crew
Were grateful for the respite) the aircraft
Sallied through the tropic air below -
Descending now quite quickly (for and aft).
And having now have flown just so far
Touched down on the strip at Denpasar.

The tropic air - it hit us like a furnace -
(The dry season is mid to late December)
Wherein these climes the Sun will surely burn us
(If the sunscreen we do not remember).
Customs were cleared - the airport now behind us-
Thus six young men - who newly now made friends were.
We were bound for cheaper hotel rooms -
(Later Bintang beer and magic mushr**ms)?

Out now on the piss (and this was typical)
Of other days to follow that one night.
Serving like a kind of analytical
Introduction to the secrets of the night.
A story I now tell - so listen up you all -
(I wish not gentle muse to now a fright).
Though basically such pickup skills at Kuta:-
Get pissed with a sheila - and then r**t her.

This brings me to the climax of my story
Or many yet to come as you will see.
Young love in all its raging steamy glory -
An Aussie girl (called Robyn) by the sea.
Drinking at a nightclub made us h*rny -
(Both sinking six or seven beers with glee).
Thus commenced our loving by the ocean -
With perfumed oils - that she wore - as a lotion.

The nights that followed were without result -
(Though not for lack of trying on my part).
And reading now my stars in the occult -
I see the perils - of following - your heart.
Well maybe in those stars there is a fault; -
Though I must say (as I soon depart) -
The last girl was a local - called Renee -
So for one night - t'was money I did pay.

My neck the morning after nibbled raw -
(At least I wasn't bitten by a monkey).
Other parts - suffice to say - were also sore -
(So moving right along now with my story).
You may say that this behavior you deplore -
(Though what I say is typical of Bali).
Six young men with tans - and with sunburn -
To Sydney now reluctantly return.



© lovecanbereal
All rights reserved

May the tickboxes in your wishlist
be greatly reduced this coming new year...
May it be more bountiful
with what is genuinely best for you,
as your wellbeing is
precious & most dear ...
And may your life be in an even better place
with whoever & wherever
towards your destiny
the winds of fate will steer ....
All these and more,
I wish for you ... with intentions
wellmeant ... heartfelt ... and sincere ...

At this time of year I like to watch Christmas movies and TV shows
ALF has two that are great
One is his first Christmas where he and Willie get stranded
They are trying to cut down a Christmas tree and ALF wants to see snow
The second one is ALF gets in the back of a van looking at toys
He goes to a hospital and poses as a stuffed doll for a sick girl named Tiffany
He ends up being her friend and stopping a man from jumping off a bridge
ALF was my favorite show from 1986 to 1990 and I have all on DVD
ALF's real name is Gordon Shumway

If it’s important to me,
If it’s my way of expressing my joy;
If I feel that it’s between me and HIM,
Then what’s the harm? What’s it to you?
I’ll do me, and you should do you.
Yes, I know that it's not HIS birthday;
And the day isn't as important as the event.
HE didn’t say that we should remember HIS birth.
He did say that we should remember HIS death, and resurrection.
That’s true, but isn’t HIS birth and life significant events as well?
Isn’t it true that His birth made the rest of it possible?
Do you think that HE would love me less if I celebrate all of it.
I don’t think so, so I’ll take my chances.
I’ll just share my joys and wishes with those who feel the same.

There is only one and it’s major,
Started by a devil masquerading as saviour.
It is over 5700 miles away,
And to everyone’s horror and dismay,
13000 Ukranian civilians are dead,
Over 7.8 million refugees have fled.
Day after day bombarded,
And plunged into darkness,
Were towns and cities in Ukraine,
by bombs and missiles that maimed,
And turned buildings and streets to rubble,
And its people to dust. This is not us.
We don’t see this kind of trouble.
Not here anyway, Not in the West.
For them there is no rest,
Only a yearning for turning
to former day from endless night.
They see only by candlelight
and the glow of fires burning.
There is no “War on Christmas”
Not here. This is foolishness,
Here there are just many well-meaning folks,
Raising glasses making toasts,
Wether “Merry Christmas “ or “Happy holidays”
May goodwill guide us all our days.

Happy New Year everyone!

Jack had a wife and son who he loved very much
He got a job at the Overlook Hotel to maintain it from November thru April
He loved the hedge maze and learned how to escaped from it
He also always dressed for the weather as it got below zero quite often there
He was visited by mean and evil ghosts who wanted him to kill his family
He resisted temptation and invited d*ck over for some good home cooking
The evil spirits just gave up and went away
A good time was had by all
He still works this seasonal job to this day
The End

'Twas that 'ol Night before Christmas and all the ponies had been fed,
I was tryin' to choke down some beans before headin' off to bed
But my belly was a' churnin' bad , it just wouldn't sit still
It was goin' to be a long night, I could sure 'nuff tell.

'Cause in my string of horses, there was one called 'Ol Saint Nick
And thinking' about riding' him, was makin' me quite sick.
'Ol Flipper had come in with a front leg a ' draggin', last Fall during shippin' season, when we was out there on the wagon.


'Ol Saint Nick was an extra in the outfit's remuda, an' every time you got gettin' on him he'd be sure to give a gift to 'ya.That gift was a danged 'ol bronc ride, an I don't mean no 'hoppin'. You see, he's pure sin covered lightnin', that'll get your ears to poppin'.

But the boss cut him to me that's just kinda part of the deal, Flipper got turned out for the whole winter just to heal. I thought it kinda funny that it's Nick's turn to go with me out checkin' heifers, the next day in the snow.

So I lay there in my bedroll, with the fireplace a 'crackin, had terrible nightmares 'bout my poor neck a' snappin'. So I woke up at midnight, and again at two-thirty, I decided to saddle up 'Nick this time a little early. I thought I'll set him to soak with the cinches pulled up tight, come daybreak that'll help to take out some of that dad gummed fight.

Finally got 'im saddled, out there in the dark, it really was like hand feeding breadcrumbs to a shark. Finally went inside to wash the blood offa my head and got to see how much the blood had turned my white shirt red.

I'd just laid down to rest and closed my eyes when I awoke to such a racket, I stumbled up quickly and pulled on my denim jacket. As I walked out to the horse pens, the moon lit up the stage, those icicles shone so bright, on that high-desert sage.

Out in the big pen, on a fresh carpet of white, my eyes took in the most amazing thing, the most unbelievable sight. Saint Nick was making' a wild, crooked leap. with a pot bellied feller sittin' up there in the seat. He'd throwed up his head with one hand up in the air, Saint Nick touched the ground and growled just like a bear!

He'd just jump sideways as he chewed up on a foot, the red fuzzy coat popped out some chimney soot! He'd showed me his belly and stood him on his head, I noticed the fat fellers cheeks a 'turnin' a little red.

Saint Nick finally winded and throwed his head up, started licking' his lips all over, like an old an' gentle pup. The rider stepped down and handed me the reins I noticed in his mouth a broken candy cane. That's when it finally hit me , as my mind started to click. I've just seen 'Ol Saint Nick Himself ride 'ol hoss Saint Nick!

Then I noticed his team and a little red sleigh, you see, his reindeer were hobbled and eatin' on some hay.

He said "Merry Christmas,
Hope that present will do,
I knocked some of the rough off
That 'ol pony just for you".

Then he buttoned his coat and walked away
Unhobbled the reindeer
And climbed up into his sleigh
I heard him exclaim as he headed back North
"I ain't never seen nothin' buck like that 'ol horse!"