Here is a list of Holidays Poems ordered by Most Viewed, posted by members. Read poetry, post your own poems or comments. Poems on these pages are copyrighted © by the authors who entered them. Click here to post a poem.
Twas The Night Before Christmas (Jail Version)
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the jail
Lots of creatures were stirring
Even a vengeful inmate with a nail
The toilet paper was hung by the communal toilet without care
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there
The prisoners were nustled unsafe in their beds
While visions of freedom danced in their heads
And I in my orange prison uniform and the guard in her cap
Wished we could settle down for a long winter's nap
When up from the roof there arose such a clatter
The prison guard sprang from her chair to see what was the matter
I knew that someone was up on that roof so lively and quick
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick
And then in the twinkling I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each tiny hoof
Then when I felt all would be well
In St. Nicholson came into our cell
He spoke a few words and went straight to his work
Then he exclaimed like a jerk
Deadbeat dads who make kids cry
Bad check writers who steal and lie
Drunk drivers who maim and make people fret
You all deserve the baloney sandwich you're going to get
But I come here to give you more than words
I also give you my Christmas turds
Then he laid a finger aside of his nose
And majically a chimney arose
Up he went and I heard him exclaim as he faded from sight
Merry Christmas to everyone else and I wish them all well
But as for you
You can all go to hell!
And all through the jail
Lots of creatures were stirring
Even a vengeful inmate with a nail
The toilet paper was hung by the communal toilet without care
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there
The prisoners were nustled unsafe in their beds
While visions of freedom danced in their heads
And I in my orange prison uniform and the guard in her cap
Wished we could settle down for a long winter's nap
When up from the roof there arose such a clatter
The prison guard sprang from her chair to see what was the matter
I knew that someone was up on that roof so lively and quick
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick
And then in the twinkling I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each tiny hoof
Then when I felt all would be well
In St. Nicholson came into our cell
He spoke a few words and went straight to his work
Then he exclaimed like a jerk
Deadbeat dads who make kids cry
Bad check writers who steal and lie
Drunk drivers who maim and make people fret
You all deserve the baloney sandwich you're going to get
But I come here to give you more than words
I also give you my Christmas turds
Then he laid a finger aside of his nose
And majically a chimney arose
Up he went and I heard him exclaim as he faded from sight
Merry Christmas to everyone else and I wish them all well
But as for you
You can all go to hell!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2014
About this poem:
We have the largest prison population in the world. Most of the people in prison don't deserve to be there, but a few do. It seems that we reward bad behavior and punish good behavior in this country. I just think it would be nice to have the truly bad ones get a good scolding from Ol St. Nick.Rudolph Retold
Hey Firesnoze!
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Stop calling me names!
Doner, you should be ashamed of yourself!
Letting that freak go out in public!
Remember guys we're not gonna let some freak reindeer
play any reindeer games, right?
So Rudolph was shunned by everyone
Except Hermee who wanted to be a dentist
Clarice the hot doe and Yukon Cornelius
Rudolph never got to guide Santa's sleigh
And he never got the respect of his parents or anyone else
Rudolph grew to hate the reindeer
But especially Santa who could have made everything alright
So Rudolph went to a gun shop downtown
And got a lot of ammo killing everyone
But Clarice, Hermee and Yukon who found silver and gold
And helped Rudolph and Clarice have new reindeer
To guide Yukon's sleigh
Hermee fixed all their teeth
And everyone lived happily ever after
The end
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Stop calling me names!
Doner, you should be ashamed of yourself!
Letting that freak go out in public!
Remember guys we're not gonna let some freak reindeer
play any reindeer games, right?
So Rudolph was shunned by everyone
Except Hermee who wanted to be a dentist
Clarice the hot doe and Yukon Cornelius
Rudolph never got to guide Santa's sleigh
And he never got the respect of his parents or anyone else
Rudolph grew to hate the reindeer
But especially Santa who could have made everything alright
So Rudolph went to a gun shop downtown
And got a lot of ammo killing everyone
But Clarice, Hermee and Yukon who found silver and gold
And helped Rudolph and Clarice have new reindeer
To guide Yukon's sleigh
Hermee fixed all their teeth
And everyone lived happily ever after
The end
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2018
About this poem:
Rudolph is one of my favorite characters from Christmas and only second to Santa.
online today!TRUE CHRISTMAS
Is a true Christmas really about Santa and Toys
Or is it about Angels singing with great Joy
Elves dressed up in bright clothes and tights
Three Wisemen following the Bethlehem starlight
Shopping elbow to elbow with strangers
Our Lord and Savior Jesus born in a manger
All about flying reindeer and sleighs
Or the promise of our sins being taken away
Lights, partying and food galore
Celebrating the coming of our Lord
A man dressed in red that’s a myth
God giving the World his greatest gift
Receiving a bunch of gifts and having fun
Thanking God for giving his only begotten Son
Is Christmas totally and completely material
Or about being forgiven and receiving Life Eternal
Or is it about Angels singing with great Joy
Elves dressed up in bright clothes and tights
Three Wisemen following the Bethlehem starlight
Shopping elbow to elbow with strangers
Our Lord and Savior Jesus born in a manger
All about flying reindeer and sleighs
Or the promise of our sins being taken away
Lights, partying and food galore
Celebrating the coming of our Lord
A man dressed in red that’s a myth
God giving the World his greatest gift
Receiving a bunch of gifts and having fun
Thanking God for giving his only begotten Son
Is Christmas totally and completely material
Or about being forgiven and receiving Life Eternal
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2015
About this poem:
Christmas has changed to commercialism along with changing Merry (Christ)mas to Happy Holidays. Mankind needs to return to what Christmas is really about.
JACK O LANTERN
HE ONLY SHINES FOR ONE NIGHT OF THE YEAR; BUT ONCE YOU SEE HIS LIT UP ANGRY FACE; YOU ARE SURE TO GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY FOR GRACE! HIS FRIENDS CONSIST OF; GOBLINS AND WITCHES WHO DWELL ON SCARING PEOPLE, WHILE DIGGING THEIR DITCHES! YES, THIS NIGHT IS SO WELCOME TO JACK AND HIS MANY EVIL FRIENDS; BUT WAIT TIL THE NEXT DAY, WHEN THE ANGELS APPEAR, AND RETIRE JACK AND HIS FRIENDS, TO AN ANGELIC END; UNTIL NEXT YEAR!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Oct 2015
About this poem:
TRICK OR TREAT! I LOVED IT WHILE GROWING UP; BUT TODAY THERE ARE TOO MANY SICK PEOPLE OUT THERE; SO PARENTS;INSPECT EVERYTHING BEFORE GIVE IT TO YOUR KIDS!
Porch Light Burning- A Toast For 2012
When your mountain trail is long and daunting
And your spirit is feeling cold and wanting;
Like a far away flicker of firefly light,
Or Polaris, bright, in the high dark night.
There's a glow that seems to guide you homeward bound
And bids you welcome without sound;
It shines it's light for your safe return,
The porch light waits with patient burn.
When your steep trail tumbles to the valley floor
May you ride to the light at your front door.
Just some simple words...
Words are about as durable
As campfire smoke
Scattered by breezes
As quick as they're spoke.
Yet, when captured by the dewdrops
As cobwebs of rhyme
Some words turn to diamonds
Preserved for all time.
And your spirit is feeling cold and wanting;
Like a far away flicker of firefly light,
Or Polaris, bright, in the high dark night.
There's a glow that seems to guide you homeward bound
And bids you welcome without sound;
It shines it's light for your safe return,
The porch light waits with patient burn.
When your steep trail tumbles to the valley floor
May you ride to the light at your front door.
Just some simple words...
Words are about as durable
As campfire smoke
Scattered by breezes
As quick as they're spoke.
Yet, when captured by the dewdrops
As cobwebs of rhyme
Some words turn to diamonds
Preserved for all time.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2011
About this poem:
May the porch light toast always guide you home safely. :-)
King of Christmas * Shadow's Challenge *
My wishlist for Christmas?...That Christ lives within us...
Though I am a bit saddened, my sins have worn thin...
Therein lies the truth, how could truth be a lie?
It can't, it's within, every pore of His skin....
Though I am a bit saddened, my sins have worn thin...
Therein lies the truth, how could truth be a lie?
It can't, it's within, every pore of His skin....
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2014
About this poem:
A very short poem in response to Linda's challenge.A Christmas Beneath The Stars :)
The cattle were bedded down on the hill
It was a peaceful sight that I saw
The winter moon hung high in the sky
Casting shadows on the side of the draw.
The Christmas lights on the ranch house below
Sparked a thought of a night gone by
When shepherds watching over their flocks
Heard the message from the sky.
I stopped and looked at the stars above
And listened where all was quiet
Then into my heart came the message
The angels delivered that night.
I stepped from my saddle, whispering aloud
"Shepherds watching over their flocks"
My horse rubbed his head on my shoulder
As he shifted his feet on the rocks.
The horse held his breath as we listened
I could almost hear the heavenly choir
Then the spirit bore witness once again
And burned in my heart like fire.
Yes, the ranchers, herders and cowboys
Who work beneath the wide open sky
Can understand how the shepherds felt
When they heard the voice from on high.
Let the rich and the powerful pity me
Let the city folk think I am strange
My silent prayer shall continue to be
"Lord, thanks for my home on the range".
It was a peaceful sight that I saw
The winter moon hung high in the sky
Casting shadows on the side of the draw.
The Christmas lights on the ranch house below
Sparked a thought of a night gone by
When shepherds watching over their flocks
Heard the message from the sky.
I stopped and looked at the stars above
And listened where all was quiet
Then into my heart came the message
The angels delivered that night.
I stepped from my saddle, whispering aloud
"Shepherds watching over their flocks"
My horse rubbed his head on my shoulder
As he shifted his feet on the rocks.
The horse held his breath as we listened
I could almost hear the heavenly choir
Then the spirit bore witness once again
And burned in my heart like fire.
Yes, the ranchers, herders and cowboys
Who work beneath the wide open sky
Can understand how the shepherds felt
When they heard the voice from on high.
Let the rich and the powerful pity me
Let the city folk think I am strange
My silent prayer shall continue to be
"Lord, thanks for my home on the range".
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2015
About this poem:
This was written many years ago and is shared with the spirit of Christmas. :)
Christmas Poem.....with a thought...
Wine and turkey….
Log and Puddings…
Warmth from the fire..
Laughter….
Sure looks good from out here….
I tighten my tattered coat...and wonder
Where would I fit the Christmas Tree…?
In this cardboard box…
I call my Home
Log and Puddings…
Warmth from the fire..
Laughter….
Sure looks good from out here….
I tighten my tattered coat...and wonder
Where would I fit the Christmas Tree…?
In this cardboard box…
I call my Home
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2009
About this poem:
I has posted this poem on the site, at this time 3 years ago... It has since been archived, so I thought about starting a new thread..... (with a little adjustment to the poem)..Blessings, Greetings and good Health to Everyone...
A Christmas Snow------monorhyme
A Christmas Snow
The soft snow flakes fall gently coating
the land, which to white is turning.
Trees brushed white stand gleaming
as Christmas dawns with sunlight bursting.
A hush settles as people start stirring
emotions high, children in the snow delighting.
Soft and pristine white as the wind sets it flurrying
its touch a whisper as it brushes cheeks now settling.
Magical flakes of pure white glistening and sparkling,
while icicles translucent adorn trees decorating
their branches and trunks with colour reflecting.
The people filled with awe as Jesus they are welcoming.
11/25/2014
contest: A Christmas Snow
The soft snow flakes fall gently coating
the land, which to white is turning.
Trees brushed white stand gleaming
as Christmas dawns with sunlight bursting.
A hush settles as people start stirring
emotions high, children in the snow delighting.
Soft and pristine white as the wind sets it flurrying
its touch a whisper as it brushes cheeks now settling.
Magical flakes of pure white glistening and sparkling,
while icicles translucent adorn trees decorating
their branches and trunks with colour reflecting.
The people filled with awe as Jesus they are welcoming.
11/25/2014
contest: A Christmas Snow
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2014
Post CommentBah Hum Bug!
I haven't gotten beyond this Bah Hum Bug!
I really haven't
And it is because I know I need to be more generous
I need to make my own transformation
I wish sometimes I did own a company like the one I work at
I wish I could double their salary
I wish I could provide them with a comfortable temperature
Health care would be free so a person didn't have to worry
About financial ruin because of high insurance premiums
And low benefits
The workers would be happy to come to work
The overtime would not be allowed so they could rest
And spend time with their family
So that we, all of us could truly say God bless us everyone!
I really haven't
And it is because I know I need to be more generous
I need to make my own transformation
I wish sometimes I did own a company like the one I work at
I wish I could double their salary
I wish I could provide them with a comfortable temperature
Health care would be free so a person didn't have to worry
About financial ruin because of high insurance premiums
And low benefits
The workers would be happy to come to work
The overtime would not be allowed so they could rest
And spend time with their family
So that we, all of us could truly say God bless us everyone!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2015
About this poem:
I have been watching all the different versions of A Christmas Carol. The best has to be Alastair Sim as Ebenezer Scrooge.Poems entered on these pages are copyrighted by the authors who entered them. They cannot be reproduced without the author's written consent. © Copyright 2001-2024. All rights reserved.
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